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Showing posts from January, 2014

心动

男孩很努力。但女孩总觉得男孩不够努力。 是不是因为这样,所以女孩才有机会一次又一次的伤害男孩? 但每一次,女孩也都在受伤。 只是没人相信。 有一天,男孩说:“我们之间已经没什么好说的了,不是吗?” 女孩才彻底明白,原来男孩从来没有理解过女孩。 他一直都在以自己的方式去爱女孩,但他并不晓得女孩到底希望如何被爱。 男孩没错。 也许他只是太喜欢听取别人的意见。 于是,男孩和女孩从此变成了两条平行线。 应该说,一开始他们本来就是两条平行线。 走再远,都不会有交汇的一天。 “这个世界不知不觉变得好小好小。”

除夕前夕

要不是阳光太刺眼,我大概也不会心不甘情不愿地将自己从被窝里拉出来,逼自己开始做下周要交的研究工作。 因为实在太闷,我重看了《家好月圆》的第三十五集,流下了2014的第一滴眼泪。真的是百看不厌,受不了。 下午跟我的“绿茶那铁”朋友在餐厅里分享我们的人生。也许是大家都毕业了,越来越珍惜这样聚在一起的机会,尽管我们不见得每分每秒都有聊不完的话题。 今天的天气比近来几天的炎热得多,但依然很温暖。也许是心态问题吧。 有些人,很努力做一些事不想让你知道,甚至知道但纯粹就不理会你的感受。你也不知道自己是可悲还是可笑。你无言以对,无奈,或有那么一点点无辜。这种时候,想一想身边爱你的人。这样应该是有帮助的。因为我们很多时候好像都因为生活里的一些些瑕疵而忽略了其他所有美好的事物。我们啊,总是太喜欢放大那些不完美的事。 虽然我不知道你为什么一定要以这种方式收场,也不理解到底发生了什么事严重得要让我们走到这种地步,甚至我心里有许多疑问,我很想很想知道答案。但我已经慢慢明白,不管怎样,我也不会得到我要的答案,而我再怎么努力也不能再挽回什么。一个巴掌毕竟拍不响,你也一直在主导整件事的走向。如果这样的你真的很快乐,那我无话可说了。 “只有懂幸福的人, 才懂得进退一样精彩” —— A-Lin 《围墙》 我是这么告诉自己的。

:))))

1月28日。晴。 很简单一天。 七早八早爬起来, 跟好友在咖啡店吃了传统的早餐, 然后到他家荒废一下人生才去学校。 下午bff跟我们一块吃我好久没吃的韩国餐。我超想念Concord Hotel楼下的韩国餐, 不知道它会不会从此消失。我想我会疯掉。 去旁听了徐兰君老师的电影课。啊, 好怀念上课的日子。老师今天讲的是1963年的《梁祝》。明明在差不多3年前也上过同样的内容, 但如今听了好像明白得更多, 更透彻。真不知道以前那样得过且过怎么还可以考上荣誉班。我想是承蒙老天和老师们的厚爱吧? 今天最开心的当然是徐老师说阿武是她见过华人男艺人当中罪帅的一个。虽然我从来不会用"帅"这个字眼来形容阿武, 但听老师这么说我还是非常开心。太有眼光了! :) 傍晚跟两个好友吃了简单的晚餐, 然后跟bff搭了旅程感觉很遥远的巴士。今天傍晚的晚霞很美, 风更是凉爽。满足。 上课的时候, 虽然学生很气我, 但下课我便马上忘记了。约了咏恩吃宵夜。我们就是那么不健康。但每周这样见见面, 吃吃东西, 聊聊天, 还是很美好的事。 回家的时候巧遇我的巴士友人语渊。于是我, 今天就不必一个人搭巴士回家了。 我现在会想, 人生也不必太奢求什么。就是这样简简单单, 每天为着一些些大小事笑一笑, 应该就蛮开心的吧。 话说, 今早特别早爬起来的我实在很累。 晚安。

星期天很安静。

1月26日。晴天。 我的心情好像也回到了往日的晴天。 也许是昨晚打球打得太晚, 很累, 所以睡得比较熟, 今早起来已经10点多了。所以, 没得看多啦A梦了。 但昨晚做了个美梦, 今早起来是笑着的。 和久违了的郡瑜老大吃了简单的午餐, 然后坐在一间餐厅里边吃着蛋糕边聊生活。老实说, 她在国大中文系的时侯我一直都有跟她碰面, 但我们从来都不是很熟很要好的朋友。我只是一直很欣赏她的豪放和潇洒。我甚至没有想过她毕业后我们还会不会见面。直到去年九月姚老师过世后隔天, 我一时多感触, 发了简讯祝一些朋友中秋快乐。那时候才跟她开始约了要出来见面。 又是说长不长说短不短的4个小时。 从阿武和刘德华, 到工作, 然后又到生活经历。我们什么都聊。她依然是那么潇洒。只是潇洒中又多了一份清晰可见的感恩。我想这是我本身很可以体会的感受。难怪他们说人总是在磨练中成长。对生活的态度大概也是人生历练的一种反映。 又是我很感谢的一个人。又让我听到生活里的另一温暖故事。 我没忘了星期天跟自己约约会。 回到家, 没人。 我下了一碗面当晚餐。满足。 然后坐在妈妈刚买的藤椅上观看郡瑜今天叫我去看的 《心动》。 很美丽的故事。很典型的港片。喜欢那种穿插式的拍摄, 有一种很宁静的感觉,但又不觉得闷。而且也发现电影中有很多狭窄空间的镜头, 让我感觉自己在房间某个角落看着故事在我眼前上演。很亲近, 很温馨。 整部电影洋溢着年少的气息。也绝对是女生看了会心动的一部片。如果早五年看了这部电影, 我的感触大概会很多, 但现在看, 完全就只能感受电影呈献的美感。 曾经年轻的我们大概都勇敢过吧? 因为年轻的我们什么都不必管。 所以每当想起从前勇敢的自己, 总是有小小的自豪感。 希望心经过今天, 又会继续积极地跳动, 然后又比昨天更能释怀一点点。 P.S: 昨晚的梦是一个好友把我抱得紧紧的。很温暖。

words that make me feel better

-

It's the second time I missed the chance to go to ll's house. To be very frank, I am extremely upset. But it's not like there's anything I can do about it. I just wonder why. And I can't even figure it out. The first time I had to lie that I have something to attend to and this time I had to say an appointment slipped my mind. I feel insulted. Not because I'm a liar. But because I have to lie and not at my own interests. Each word of lie was no different from a knife piercing through myself. Nonsense. What nonsense. But I thank ll. Because he could jolly well not ask me for dinner but he did. And I'm thankful. And he suggested that I teach her girl when the time comes. And then I felt slightly better. 

:')

Today the heart aches quite a bit. It's like a once-in-a-week routine now, but paling in comparison with the previous almost-daily one. Today will be a considerably good one. Not just because I got my new toy. In fact, I think my heartache is largely attributed to that because of the price. Not just because I had a lovely evening with J, E and H. But also because my favourite lecturer LL texted and asked for a dinner tomorrow. I know that I am probably not making it to the gathering. I wished I could... But I am honestly extremely contented if I am able to organise one for him and the rest. And I know that no matter what I do or try to do, there are always those who do not appreciate or simply not understand. While I am slightly upset that that is the case, I will continue to do what I deem right. Maybe, just maybe, one day people will understand. 

The same old trail

Zhi and YY visited mum's stall and after dinner, we walked to the bus stop and passed by JJ. It's always difficult not to feel nostalgic every time I am there. It's the same old trail. And the same dark sky. I would jump out of bed (not drag myself out of it) at 5.30 a.m. and rush to school in the shortest time possible, just to walk behind Sam. I think I will never forget all that. It was one of the best times. The loveliest memories that make me really love myself for whatever I did that year when I was an eighteen-year-old :)

叙"新"

今天跟亲爱的嘉宜相约吃午餐。我们坐在咖啡座里闲聊了很久。嘉宜是个很积极向上的人, 跟她在一起总是很难不感染到她的正能量。短短的三个小时, 我对她真的是掏心又掏肺。总是很感激像她这样聆听的耳朵。她是天真无邪和成熟稳重的完美结合, 所以跟她聊天还蛮放松的。 原来旧朋友出来见面在很大的程度上不是叙“旧”,而是叙“新”。这大概就是保持联络的意义吧?时不时就告知对方自己的近况,分享新计划、新目标。我们总不能拥抱着过去,因为人都是往前走。过去是回味的时候才搬出来说的事情。分享“新”的事情是很必要的事,因为也只有这样,彼此之间的距离才不会因为平时的不见面和没时间联络而被拉远。 今天是非常累的一天。但还算满足 :)

理想的星期天

1月19日。阴。 独自在附近的小贩中心吃了晚餐后, 我在凉风中漫步回家。这是非常理想的星期天。跟自己约约会, 踏着轻快的脚步回家。我总是喜欢傍晚时分走路回家。除了因为很凉快, 也因为那个时候走过组屋区, 可以嗅到左邻右舍煮饭菜的香味, 又可以看到组屋楼下的小孩起劲地骑着脚踏车, 妈妈们催促他们赶快回家吃饭。那种景象让了看了倍感温馨。一路上, 我一直对着自己笑。没什么特别的原因。就想起一些人的笑话, 想起妈妈昨天带我去看医生的时候让我躺在她的肩膀上歇息, 想起朋友发一些图片逗我笑。好温暖。真正爱你的人会因为你的快乐而得到快乐。我真是幸福的小孩。

一点都感动

"长大了也许对于某种感动的东西, 一点都珍惜...." 学生们都叫我好好休息, 赶快好起来。 天啊, 好感动! 😭 真是的, 近来什么小事都觉得感动。

生日快乐

一直知道姚老师的生日是一月份,但从来不清楚确切的日期。 昨天是Darren的生日,面子书上提醒我是“Darren and 1 other” 的生日,但我并没有点击看看那个“1 other”是谁。今天看了老师的面子书网页才知道是昨天。 时隔数月,我相信有的人跟我一样想念老师。近来,我时不时会拿出一些东西来翻译,发现我其实有好多问题好想问老师。只可惜,没这样的机会了。这种时候,就会特别遗憾自己从来不是个好学的学生。每当回顾和老师在面子书上的短信,会感到一点庆幸,因为我最后问他的问题也是一些语法的问题,他自然也不厌其烦地分享他所知道的。 师母说老师总是认为生日不是很重要。原来这点我和老师相似。我知道老师大概也觉得,不需要生日也可以快乐。所以,老师,生日快乐。希望身处远方的你继续快乐着,也把欢乐带给身边的人。

Sick.

It was bad. I don't even remember the last time I felt this awful. I vomitted twice, the second time it came out through the nose too. Ohmygad I thought I was dying. And I couldn't believe at that point of time the only thing on my mind was a friendship I could no longer salvage. Ha. It was a long nap during which I dreamt of lunch. I suppose I am really a glutton. The doctor asked me not to overwork. This is possibly the third time I am hearing it from a doctor (each time was a different doctor). I don't think I am even overworking. I don't feel any stress these days? Nonetheless, I am going to try to sleep earlier.... Try ah.

Nice people

I haven't had my dinner at this hour but I think it was a great Friday. The moment I got to my workplace, my boss gave me a big bag of barbecued pork that was meant as CNY gift. The lady at the counter Ms Woon also gave me two boxes of Andes chocolates and wished me 甜甜蜜蜜. After lesson, another 8-year-old student of mine lifted the bag in his hand and said, "This is for you Teacher GL. Happy Chinese New Year." I didn't know people get or give gifts for Chinese New Year. I thought it was just Christmas or birthdays. What nice people. People are so nice to me everyday. And so I got to be nice to myself too, I suppose. The unnecessary thoughts remained chucked aside, and the days go on. There is still so much to be unhappy about, but I tend to forget them these days. I think I am slowly going in that direction. It hasn't been raining though. I kind of miss the rain.

Jiayou GL

Having breakfast with the group of people who have now moved to NIE was certainly a motivation for me to wake up early. It was great time spent albeit short. I have missed everyone and somehow I always wished we could study together again.  So, it was until I submitted my casual appointment form this afternoon that I finally realised what I have got myself into. But I promise I will whine less, and do more, and definitely not at the expense of my students.  Lunch with YH and WW made me feel like I was a student all over again.  It was an extremely random and impromptu singing session with bf. Well but I enjoyed myself!  And today, I see the change in me. Like a real change. 

Full!

I had an extremely filling lunch at Popeyes with Yongee. We spent some good two hours together talking about almost everything under the sun. And then time seemed to pass pretty quickly at the centre. I took a stroll at Holland Village. The evening breeze was truly awesome. It would have been a waste if I had stayed at home to laze. Thank goodness! Sumptuous dinner with bf and WW :) Today has to be one of my fattest days. But I find myself smiling when I saw my white polo tee in the wardrobe. Heehee.

Small things.

14 January 2014 I don't feel well in the morning because my heartache is back. I figured it was probably the caffeine on an empty stomach. But despite that, my mood was relatively good. Because WW is back! Even though he wished he wasn't. It seems that it's become a tradition to meet good friend Cyclops between our birthdays so that we can exchange presents. He can be very sadistic but that's him and I like it! It was a simple meal but I am always thankful for a friend like him :) HAVE A BLESSED BIRTHDAY!!! I went to Challenger with WW who wanted to get a new laptop. EXTREMELY coincidentally, we met SYX who was hanging around in the area. I was feeling hungry so I went to get some kebab. SYX was like, "You shouldn't influence your friends into doing things like this", and then the next moment he jumped the queue and got the food before me. It is times like this that I feel that we are 15-year-old teenagers. Nothing but gluttony and childishness :D  Student...

Monday!

It was great day spent with chew chew :) And students were so motivated today (although I think it is just momentary). I think I must be crazy. I keep smiling to myself today! And I am looking forward to the return of my favourite WW :)
我总是相信,祝福一个人只需要真心。有心就祝福,无心就算了,无需瞻前顾后。 但我也相信,你不能期望全世界都接受你的好意。所以,就算别人不领你的情,你还是可以用你的方式祝福他。 我终究希望所有我爱的人都幸福快乐 :)

24

1月12日。雨。 是我最喜欢的雨天。那种让人感到平静的雨天。 我一早起来观看了多啦A梦,然后跟朋友聊聊天。 下午到星巴克,买了一杯绿茶拿铁和我最爱的芝士蛋糕,坐在一角边享受,边看封面有阿武的杂志。那又是一份很美丽的礼物。多美丽的巧合! 有点吵,不过很享受这样跟自己约会。 往后我一定要多跟自己约会。 享受完独处的时间,便是和最爱的四个朋友在一起。 先看了一部电影《亲生爸爸》。笑得好开怀。是一部很有意思的电影。 接着去玩了挺有趣的“逃亡专家”,然后再去吃顿丰盛的晚餐。 非常平静的一天。 真的很平静。 越大好像就越对生日没什么特别的感觉。 今年收到的祝福很少,但不知道为什么,我感受到的爱比过去任何一年都多。 所以我真的很感激。 最感谢的当然是把我带到这个世界上的老妈。她今年包了一个大红包给我,这对我来说是她对我作为女儿的一个肯定。 然后还有抽空陪我吃吃饭、聊聊天的朋友。 我发现我是个很害怕收礼物的人。但礼物绝对都不分昂贵和便宜。 而通过简讯收到的祝福也都不分迟早。 我两天前也收到了最最最最最好的礼物。所以我别无他求。 23岁过去了。我其实挺庆幸的。23跟它作为一个素数一样,尴尬。 24岁,我要寻找青春和快乐。 生日愿望?当然有。 因为觉得自己过去的生日愿望好像都很灵验,所以一定要有的。 我本来想希望变成《X战士》里的Jean Grey。但那太扯了。 我希望多赚一些钱,赶快买到我的公寓。 我希望我爱的人会一直快乐、坚强。 我希望自己健忘一点,忘记所有不开心的事。 这一天过得很平静,但很温暖。真的很谢谢。 It's my favourite rainy day. The one in which people find peace. I woke up early for Doraemon, and spent some time chatting with my friends. In the afternoon, I went to Starbucks and got myself a green tea latte and a cheesecake, and then got myself seated at a corner where I indulged myself while reading a magazine that has AhWU on th...

:D

不知道该怎么形容这一天。 这一刻,我等了十年。 终于跟我追了十年的阿武拍照了! 真的真的真的很兴奋。 脑子里很多思绪。 - 有些东西,慢慢等也许真的等得到。我一直那么相信,我的信念也没有背弃我。对于Blue是这样,对于阿武也是。 - 过去我梦过6次跟阿武合照。这次真的梦想成真了。 - 虽然20多岁的人了,但总觉得还是要疯狂一次。不可以留下遗憾! - 上天真的很公平。我失去了很多,但也得到了一些。我很感恩。 - 这是最好的生日礼物。不是因为跟阿武合照。是因为我真的很开心,而很多朋友也因为我开心而开心。比如子睿跟我一起跑到我的鞋子烂了,然后他跟我说:“这是我认识你那么久看你做过最疯的事。又比如芝维看我那么兴奋,摸摸我的头说:“开心就好。” 又如Angie说:“我认识你那么多年第一次见你那么开心。希望你能多跟他拍照。” 又如Mic问我:“超市里的西兰花有没有对你笑?” Heeheehee. 我觉得这是很幸福的事。别人因为你的幸福而幸福,而你又因为他们幸福而感到更加幸福。其他事也变得不太重要。 我不再追偶像了!我长大了! 谢谢这份美好的礼物。 有时候真的需要一些些事,让你知道谁真的很爱你! 我好幸福。

惜缘惜福

1月9日。半晴半雨。 跟'革命'一群在一起总是充满欢笑声。偶尔不说话, 听到他们谈论得那么起劲, 自己也为他们开心。虽然只是一顿简单的晚餐, 但很珍惜这样的缘分。 不知怎么, 今天有不少朋友问候。真的很有心, 所以很感激。 心里的恐惧也慢慢消失了。 近来的记忆力也越来越差。那绝对是好事。 回到家, 收到感动的简讯。 突然觉得, 这个世界总有理解你的人。 而所谓理解, 不过就是纯粹知道你是真心对待。 我正在学着珍惜所有美好的东西 :)

:')

不需要什么太实际的行动,也不需要经常看到他。 我只需要想到这个人,就可以觉得很开心,很兴奋。 这个人真厉害 ;D

谁知道

赶走蓝色星期一

1月6日。雨。 我想我喜欢雨天的另一个原因是,雨天的时候,心里如果是晴天,那样的对比让人更加快乐。 跟亲爱的刘娘娘去买球拍。托她的福,老板以最优惠的价格把一支挺好的球拍卖给我,还附送赠品!好感激!好开心! 我们看了我们在2014的第一部电影《救火英雄》。她大概是为谢霆锋。我纯粹因为只要是香港有份参与制作都会有兴趣。电影开头叙述性太强,甚至有点把观众放在一个很无知的地位。中间部分还不错。我喜欢拍摄角度和一些很细节的描述。任达华的演技也非常到位。只可惜,电影的高潮部分因为背景音效用得很不恰当,完全盖掉了高潮应有的紧张刺激。整个氛围缓和了太多,于是我从头到尾都是很冷静地在座位上观看。最后的旁述更是有点像在炒冷饭,根本无需把一些应该保持抽象的细节说得太白。与去年跟嘉宜一起看的《逃出生天》比起来,我觉得那个好多了。当然,这部也不至于太差。 娘娘跟我告别后,通过简讯赠了我一句。 “事情可能很不简单,但心愿可以很简单。” 真是终身受用。

:)

5 January Last night I sent a long text to Twinnie and she replied with a longer one :)  Maybe some things really don't change.  I finally met Ben and Soon (and ST again). The last time we met was nearly 3 years ago but I really have no idea why we never really felt drifted once we met again. At least for me it was like that. Ben and Soon were my best friends in primary six, Ben especially. Over the years, I may not have met him that often but we always share about our lives via text messages and I really appreciate all the listening ears he has offered me even though we do not always meet. It is so nice to have a friend like him who is always around.  Bumping into Ms Koh was a surprise. I hadn't seen her since she left the school a few years back. She never taught me but I somehow just got to know her when I was Sec4. The reason was... epic. We share the same birthdate. But I stopped wishing her Happy Birthday two years ago after I changed my number, because I thought sh...

:)

这是2014的第一场雨。 短暂而美丽。 太倔强的人,没资格惋惜。 我惋惜,但不因为倔强。 我相信,接下来还会有很多惊喜等待我发掘。

一月第一周

一月二日。晴。 跟沈通和俊宏吃了一顿非常简单的午餐。也许因为不常见面,所以每次见面,都有聊不完的话题。很开心像这样,尽管很久没见面,还是可以聊得那么开心,那么坦然。 一月三日。晴。 今天跟认识了十一、二年的三个回教朋友吃午餐。我们一年见面两次,但总是不觉得太陌生。很珍惜这样的友谊。 发现一月头总是在跟久违了的朋友见面。既是开心,又有些害怕。害怕是因为每一次见面,朋友们总会问:“最近好吗?” 我很怕这个问题。因为似乎好还是不好,都只能说好。我到底好不好,身边比较亲的朋友自然知道。对于那些珍惜却不常见的朋友,我不好的时候也不太敢告诉他们。也不知道为什么。也许不想他们担心,也许自己知道就算不好,终究也会变好,所以说了也没用,干脆不说。但不管怎样,总是很感激那些很关心的朋友。 今天踏进家里,就看到旺旺寄来的明信片。祝福永远不嫌早。所以,谢谢啦~ 我真的很喜欢收到手写的东西,看了总是觉得很温暖。 我也要开始多写字条什么的给人。 不知道从什么时候开始,每当傍晚搭巴士回家,总会很期待一件事。 一件很遥远的事。 我打从心里知道这已经是不会再发生的事。 但像这样期待、幻想,我发现那都是让自己觉得很温馨很感动的事。 如果人会因为想象快乐的事而得到快乐,我想那也是很不错的吧。 这大概就是一月的第一周。 期待周末。期待更多的惊喜。

First day

Over the years, we somehow just get less enthusiastic about getting together during festive seasons, but I just feel more complete whenever I spend the last few hours of the year with Ohana. It's been as such since... 2007? And it feels like a tradition that I just have to adhere to. It was a very noisy and fun first of January. What makes it different this year is that we spent quite a few hours at the airport before sending Fel off. I don't always meet up with Fel, but I always remember her as a strong girl whom I often look up to. I am glad she has got over the bad things and she is always positive about her life. There is so much that I must learn from her. I sincerely wish her a great and memorable time in Sydney.  On the long MRT ride home, many issues flashed past in my head. There have been people who think I am one who gets angry easily (as a matter of fact, I really am a petty person), there have been people who think I am heartless, unkind. Recently, I have heard wor...