past.

And because it is nearing the end of the semester (perhaps my campus life as well), I guess I got to learn how to get used to the kind of life it was supposed to be before, for I had once lost. I know, before I lose it again, I should learn how to live without it. This is simply because the earth does not stop revolving for anyone. Nothing, really, is indispensable. I think I am just too afraid of being fooled again. Happy April's Fool.

School can never be more hectic than this. There is the long list of essays to complete, the readings that have been left aside to decompose, and the Graduation Magazine which I cringe at the sight of now. It seems that there is hardly any recreational activities to speak of these days, perhaps just a short game of badminton on a Friday. A meal with friends outside school or home would be luxury. I have been craving for KFC for the longest time ever, but knowing myself too well, I decide I will suppress that craving till the end of Week 12 (or at least until I finish most of my assignments), lest I fall sick after eating. I guess I have not been updating my friends (and mum) about myself. I have been so bogged down by work. And this could be the reason why I have been fighting with my thoughts yet again. To add, I do know I have neglected many friends. But I know there are still people who read my blog, so I am really thankful! Thank you people for the occasional text messages, car...

如果有的人終究會離開，那爲什麽要為他蹉跎歲月，浪費青春？放棄一些所謂的執著，也許將來回頭望時會發現自己做了最明智的決定。

我想最近的我是很容易融化的。但我會堅持到底，不為任何物所動。 革命尚未結束，同志還需努力。

今天，我非常非常非常不開心。

Sometimes all it takes is that one split second for one to wake up to his senses.

I wished you had never left. Then I would not have the issue of trusting all over again.

Just now, Yonggee and I were waiting for 96 at the school bus stop. I bumped into Shaun who was also going home. He wanted to send me home but I rejected him because I promised Yonggee I would go to Clementi with her. And so I bid Shaun goodbye and then Yonggee and I boarded bus 96. When we reached Clementi, Shaun called me and said he was waiting for me near the interchange. I got into his car and he said, “大概猜到你是要陪朋友來Clementi了啦。” He is probably one of those who know me best! My primary school friend just made my day :)

EHFBNTCIDOEWMFYUGHYBIDDK38547383Q0@)%#)*!@$)*!$!nrsKCESAIFHEDESBN@$%(t#(venfe#89GRJ34*$#y30HBF8HTR&h$#ty*e^&*yewewhorweh*RHHTKHKJRTWOIHGOERIGISOIGRFRRROGIROSGBkrmSg$(*tr#*q&t#wiuh%r$ny%)hurepht)*hj%u%_*yw_$*y(_rwgi_mt%y$r)tv*m#)WRIHY54EMRSGSMGOTGYUHTOSRJH

有時候，我希望這是場夢。 若是夢，我又希望可以一直沉睡。 傷過一次，不可再傷。

“回憶上了發條，總準時報到。 我讓日夜顛倒，因爲黑夜太難熬。” —— 遺失的心跳

I finally met my two best friends (together) after two long months. And I finally shared what I have suppressed for so long! I always know, there are certain things which I cannot share with anyone but them. I feel so much better now. Phew. Had it not been Max, I guess I would not have realised that my mood has indeed been very much on a rollercoaster ride of late. Emotions have been getting the better of me these days, especially with the never-ending workload on my list. It is a Wednesday, yes. But I am so tired and my migraine is killing me. So, I decided I will retire to bed and continue with what I have to tomorrow. I love my best friends.

我今天很開心。

Have a blessed birthday, my dear friend Yanli :)

總會在這樣的深夜想起一些不堪回首的事，然後沉淪。但我知道，這些都會過去的。 最近要做的事真的很多。但儘管今天是星期六，我卻沒有好好利用它。真得好累。就想用這一天好好休息一番。但人總是奇怪的，做了想做的事才來後悔。我想接下來兩周我應該會抱怨沒有好好利用周末的時間把事情做好。不過我不管了。時間終究是過去了。我也休息過了。 明天再衝刺吧。

I went through Ohana's blog archives. I miss them a bit.

從此以後，他再也不一樣。 又是那般快樂，但是不同的快樂。

You can never imagine how pathetic I can get.

那天…… 我偷偷地希望雨会一直下着。 我装出一副若无其事。 我想一直这样。 那天，我还蛮开心的。

如果我失憶…… 我會不會忘了電腦的密碼是什麽？ 我會不會看著房間裏的照片，很努力地想要想起照片裏的人是誰？ 我會不會忘了令我難過，令我生氣的人？ 我會不會想不起愛我的人和我愛的人？ 我會不會忘了回家的路？ 我會不會在看阿武的電影時，覺得他很眼熟？ 我會不會聽到Blue的歌，然後跟著哼起來？ 如果我失憶，誰會最想喚起我過去的記憶？ 想到一個人失憶，覺得那很可怕。 如果我失憶，我最想忘記的事是…… 我最想忘記這周已經是第九周。我最想忘記我還有很多篇論文要交。 這是個壓力很大的人的内心獨白。

:( x infinity

1. CH2273 論文 2. CL3203 論文 3. CL3281 作業 4. 畢業特刊 5. (太多了，想不到了） 要做的事情真的很多。要努力，真的要很努力。若不努力，我對不起的是王老師，對不起Michelle，對不起何老師，對不起畢業特刊的籌委。更重要，我對不起我老媽。每次這個時候，我的壓力就很大——然後就吃很多——然後體重就增加——然後壓力就更大。Ohmygad. GL，我看你只能加油了。其他的，暫時別想。

    坚持.   

似乎我真的很可悲。如此容易滿足，如此容易説服。重蹈覆轍是我的最大缺點。死不悔改是我的致命傷。 可悲，可悲。

I had a really, really bad dream last night that I woke up feeling extremely upset. Maybe it was due to the sudden mention of the name after not hearing it for some time. It reminded me of the painful days which I took years to get over. And, which taught me not to be hurt the way I was. Nonetheless, I would say it is still quite a good day.

你为什么要在我不相信你之后才跟我说一句这么深刻的话？ 矛盾。 I have the sudden urge to sit down in Coffee Bean and enjoy a piece of Chicago cheesecake and blackcurrant Snapple drink.

I have been in a daze. Work never seems to end, sleep never seems enough. 1. 林立老师 sang a poem in class today and I felt so upset upon hearing :( But I did not really pay attention during his class today and I think I failed as a student. 2. What we learnt during Pragmatics today was really interesting and practical. 3. BYTK meeting was rather fun-filled. 4. I was so tired I went home to take a 1-hour nap, only to wake up to realise that I have not taken a nap in the longest time. Nap is such a luxury these days. 5. I went for tuition and my student's mother told me that he got 1/30 for his exam. Extremely disappointed. 6. I was feeling too bored and lonely so I walked to U-Town, in the hope of grabbing a bite. Then I thought of Peisen who commented that my size is becoming like xiaodingdang, and so I walked back to my room.   I am going to try catching up with my work tomorrow. Such is life. P.S: Thank you Cyclops for having Macs with me yesterday. Actually I do miss you and I am s...

Can never be more stressed than this but I am still trying. Jiayou man, GL.

I have never wanted to be the person I said I would never be. And I am still struggling with that. I was really hoping that people would be less selfish, at least not let me live by their standards. At this rate, I know I will gradually lose every bit of trust I have in those who (used to) love me so much. Times like this, I just want to coop myself up in my secret chamber at my favourite spot and live in my own world. 我是不是绝望了？

http://youtu.be/sX6IhJ8wAKw If you know me well enough, you know that this is not an ordinary music video. Chocolates for you if you are the first to tell me the answer ;)

人就是怪，总是爱玩些捉迷藏的游戏。兜兜转转，躲躲藏藏。这样很好玩吗？ 原来我真的没什么时间去管了。 很累，很想睡。

I have no idea why, but somehow, I think I have become slightly quieter after the concert that night. Maybe I am just busy, maybe just tired, or maybe there are simply too many things going through my mind. It seems like there is no longer anything to look forward to? I think if there was anything I anticipated most since young, it was Blue. Now that I have been so close, I have been to their concert, I suddenly feel empty. Call me a fan girl, well I think I really can be one. But anyway my point is that after the concert, it struck me that all I have in my mind is studies, studies and studies. Of course there are other committments, but studies always come to mind first. I am not sure if this is a good thing but it does not seem so to me for now because I always believe there are a lot more in life other than studies. And then I have been thinking about the past, again. And, I still scroll down to look through my list of contacts when I log on to messenger these days. Thoughts kee...