past.

Tell me what’s wrong with society When everywhere I look I see Young girls dying to be on TV Won’t stop 'til they’ve reached their dreams Diet pills, surgery Photoshoped pictures in magazines Telling them how they should be It doesn’t make sense to me Is everybody going crazy? Is anybody gonna save me? Can anybody tell me what’s going on? Tell me what’s going on If you open your eyes You’ll see that something is wrong I guess things are not how they used to be There’s no more normal families Parents act like enemies Making kids feel like it’s World War III No one cares, no one’s there I guess we’re all just too damn busy And money’s our first priority It doesn’t make sense to me Is everybody going crazy? Is anybody gonna save me? Can anybody tell me what’s going on? Tell me what’s going on If you open your eyes You’ll see that something is wrong Is everybody going crazy? Is everybody going crazy? Tell me what’s wrong with society When everywhere I look I see Rich guys driving big S...

Day out with YY was simple and peaceful. Baked rice was great and satisfying. Thank god for this wonderful time I had. Thank you YY. Compost. I learnt this word today. Can I use it to describe the state I'm in even though it's a noun? Thank you Brenda Thank you Hui Ying Thank you Pei Ting Thank you Eric Thank you sam. Thank you bestie. Even if I can thank the whole world, I know I still have to depend on myself. It's cruel, it's brutal. It's reality. Broke down thrice in a day. Totally exhausted, I swear. Nevertheless, I'm hoping everything will appear clearer after those eyes have been rinsed with tears. I want to walk my path but there isn't even a route in sight. I want to die but I don't even have a life to start with. I want to cry but the tears won't come.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAHIL 9th year I'm wishing you a Happy Birthday and hopefully, I can go on and on till the end of time. Secondary school life sucked for me but to ask me to think of what made it nice, I'll think of you. The loud girl who asked me for my number under the big umbrella on 2003's Chinese New Year's eve. Man, I just laughed. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAI XIANG. I was so unhappy/disappointed/angry you forgot my birthday + you lied to me for one year. Yet, I can't bring myself to deny the fact that you're always there to tell me I'm courageous and I must be strong. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS. You've grown up and should be able to make decisions for yourself. There's nothing I can do or say already. But you know, like how Mother feels, you're always my worry. Sorry bestie, we couldn't meet up today. Sorry Pei Ting, Eric, Ben. We didn't start our group studying today. Yesterday was not nice after all, especially after the one-hour nap. Everything was...

This song is for whoever makes me unhappy. There you go You're always so right It's all a big show It's all about you You think you know What everyone needs You always take time To criticize me It seems like everyday I make mistakes I just can't get it right It's like I'm the one You love to hate But not today So shut up, shut up, shut up Don't wanna hear it Get out, get out, get out Get out of my way Step up, step up, step up You'll never stop me Nothing you say today Is gonna bring me down There you go You never ask why It's all a big lie Whatever you do You think you're special But I know and I know and I know and we know That you're not You're always there to point out my mistakes And shove them in my face It's like I'm the one You love to hate But not today Don't tell me who I should be And don't try to tell me what's right for me Don't tell me what I should do I don't wanna waste my time I'll watch yo...

The sun rays were really scorching a moment ago and now, there should be no doubt about an impending downpour. Nice. Just nice for a power nap, although I'm pretty reluctant to take one now since my workload is piling up. School? Nah. School's like no school today. Nothing more to elaborate then. There is no special occasion today but Brenda managed to traumatise me by fooling me that she wanted to exchange a random conversation and tada, she just wanted to show me who was behind her -- Jasmine. I'm amused/stunned Mengli got a shock too. Got this from Rahil. There's no reason why I should shake my head in disagreement. Nine Rules To Get You Through Life. When you have pms, sleep. When you feel sick, sleep. When you are having a bad night, sleep. When you got nothing to do, sleep. When you have messy thoughts, sleep. When you feel like shit, sleep. When you are tired, sleep. When you want to run away from the world, sleep. When you are so upset with yourself, sleep. This...

Ms Audrey Lim is such a nicey! I got to believe in 中西合并. TCM rocks my socks. I've had about 12 tablets since last afternoon and they sure aided my speedy recovery. No doubt the effects of my antibiotics are so strong that they always make me hungry. Alright, 2 more to go and I'm done with a complete course. I ate rice today! After 6 long days, I'm finally eating rice again and for once, my throat didn't hurt when I swallowed those hard grains. What's the term you use to describe someone who has phobia for school? Collegephobic? Man, Yiting wants to treat me to a drink! Just because I suggested a point to her which according to Brenda, has helped her with her GP. I think I'm quite fearful for school now. Imagine if that was Jasmine instead. Ohmygod. I MISS YOU TOO DARLING! Waiting for you to ask me out! I really don't want to get used to this but nothing's assisting me in getting over it. Miss the gang. Oh. I realised it's quite challenging a task to ...

RAHIL, MAN U VS LIVERPOOL - 3-0! DID YOU TURN YOUR HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN AFTER THE MATCH?! Alright, no pun intended! Ate nothing in the morning but vomitted (I don't know what) and now, I still feel like dying. Nothing feels worse than this but alright, I resign to fate. We can never get this right, can we?

I've had 6 or 7 bowls of qing tang since last night but my throat's still burning now. I've had my antibiotics and medicines to cure swelling of my tonsil but my throat's still burning now. I've had 4 or 5 lozenges but my throat's still burning now. I've had 5 800ml bottles of water but trust me, nothing's working. Trying ice cream and coconut juice later, before I take my second dosage of the day. My legs are wobbly now. Currently, 90% of my body is filled with water. I should just do my work outside the toilet, then I don't have to keep running out of my study room for the toilet. Nah, maybe I can even do my work inside. Finally understood why Adeline kept throwing her tantrums in China when she was down with tonsils infection. The feeling is almost like a needle stuck in your throat and there's nothing you can do to take it out, even if you try to drown it with plenty of water or liang cha. But hers was cured after taking antibiotics. Mine...

Okay, feeling optimistic today. Have seen a doctor and to my surprise, he said the inflammation in my left tonsil was due to inadequate sleep! Couldn't really find the link but well, I'm not going to care. Most of all I'm feeling much better now, though, I'm super bloated now after drinking so much water and eating so many pieces of watermelons. For the past couple of days, was almost dying of the intolerable pain from swallowing my food (porridge and water included). Attempted to alleviate the pain with panadols but they only worked for at most 2 hours? Today, antibiotics to the rescue! This one is nice! I asked her to stay but she wouldn't listen She left before I had the chance to say (Oh) The words that would mend the things that were broken But now it's far too late, she's gone away Every night you cry yourself to sleep Thinking: "Why does this happen to me? Why does every moment have to be so hard?" Hard to believe that It's not over toni...

小时候，妈妈怎么打我，我都不哭。记得有一次，因为欺负妹妹又被哥哥投诉，三更半夜被妈妈赶出家门。我知道她在储物间里偷看我，想看看我有没有哭。但我只是看着手里之前没吃完的炸鸡腿，说什么都不哭。一个只有五、六岁的孩子被妈妈用拖鞋打，又被拖出家外，照理是应该会哭得像杀猪似的吧。也许妈妈实在不了解我的脾气为什么这么硬朗，怎么打都不会哭。我自己也不晓得，并没有刻意去压抑自己的眼泪，实在是没有想哭的感觉。 现在呢，为了什么小事情都可以掉眼泪。可是真的很讨厌哭的感觉，一发不可收拾，很累人。自从进了高中后，就不时以泪洗脸。应该没试过这么爱哭吧。是不是高中日子压力大，我也不清楚。只知道很难过日子，因为时间好像爬得比乌龟还慢，又无法适应学校的环境，周围的人。玩自闭？也许是有这样的倾向吧。似乎已经没什么人再也可以相信，尽管我常说，不信任人只会使自己活在痛苦之中。 这两天又喉咙发炎了。今天妈妈大声喊我，说我难伺候。我不想跟她多吵，喉咙真的痛得说不出话来。虽然很饿，但吞不下任何东西，也不敢跟她说。我并不是怪她，也没有说是任何人的错。何尝不知道她是在关心我，只是不懂得怎么接受这种不友善的关心。还是我这个做女儿的太多请求，希望妈妈能够轻声细语地关心我？妈妈出去后，我就坐在电脑面前哭。发现自己不是第一次在电脑前面哭了。总是一边写日记，眼泪一边落在键盘上。但日记写完后总是都删掉了，毫无保留。今天不一样，不知道为什么。有感而发吧。如果不说出来，可能又会控制不了情绪，乱发脾气。 不知道自己是不是不善于表达。对每个人来说，这大概是不可能的。也许会说，看都知道我是个有什么就说什么的人。不然就是我的社交圈子大，朋友多的是。这一切的一切很重要吗？朋友多了不起吗？在你最失意的时候，朋友不出现，并不表示他们不是朋友。只是，你会不会质疑这些朋友在你心目中的价值？如果拥有一百个朋友，但统统没有价值，那你还是个穷乞丐。 我不知道自己是不是就快身无分文了。朋友，我不敢说我有很多。亲人呢，一个一个离我越遥远。这是我悲观所以才这么说，还是一直都这么想？我自己也不知道。似乎我越来越不了解自己了。

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRENDA! For the long essay, I slept at 1 a.m! How often do I sleep this late?! Yet, I still didn't manage to make you burst out into laughter. And only obtained a pathetic 3 out of 5! Sad. Nevertheless, I'm glad you like the mug! Psst. No worries about the shocks you've always put me through. That's what Brenda's capable of anyway! P/S: The above picture is one of the few pictures I have of you. Fret not. Not everyone knows my blog!! Here's a song for you. (Imagine me singing it to you) hey you, i know i'm in the wrong time flies when you're having fun you wake up another year is gone you're 21 i guess you wanna know why i'm on the phone its been a day or so i know its kinda late but happy birthday yeah yeah woah woah i know you hate me yeah yeah woah woah well i miss you too yeah yeah i know i know it's kinda late but happy birthday so hard when you're far away its lame but i forgot the days i wont make the same mistake i...

Assuming P(I fail today's block test) = 0, P(I pass today's block test) = 1. However, P(I get an A for today's block test) = 0.001. Thus, P(I get a B, C or D for today's block test) = 1 - 0.001 = 0.999. Mathematically (or statistically), I've explained how I fared today and there is seemingly no need for more explanations. Had no chance to blog yesterday. I've got my second scholarship! I don't see the need to reciprocate. I hate what's going on now. Thank you Ben and Auntie Rainbow and goodfriend for a support. I don't need any of you to understand me. I just ask for any of you to TRY to understand what I'm going through. I've got a disappointing answer, and it's far worse than failing my first Math test. A hand reached for my heart and twisted it. I swear I'm hating it and not doing a good job getting over it.

1. Zhi and Max got me a Doraemon jeep! So ex! I'm super grateful! 2. Finally got my Doraemon strap! 3. Have made up my mind. We got to be fair.

Around the island with Melissa in 80 minutes. Oh nope, definitely more than that. First stop was Bugis. Had my Mango smoothie as always! I think it was a mistake to go there. Saw two Doraemon keychains but couldn't bear to part with my money. Next was town. Bought a City Bella magazine with Ruien on the cover and decided to surprise Zhi. But I should have known it wouldn't be a surprise to her since she's such a diehard fan. Man. How dumb can I get. So now she knows and there's no more surprise. Coffeebean with Mrs Gan! Chigago cheesecake was heavenly and I bet Zi Rui will be so jealous of me if he hears about it! I so miss Mrs Gan and Mrs Tan. Mrs Tan is expecting her second baby! Yayness. I have a new craving. Yes, Gardenia bread. I eat 4 a day! This is getting insane.

How to Play 1. Put your music player on shuffle. 2. Press forward for each question. 3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. No cheating. 4. With the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions. 5. Tag 5 people. How are you feeling today? Inconsolable - Backstreet Boys Doesn't quite relate! Feeling great because of the rain! Don't even need to be consoled. Will you get far in life? Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson How come this game doesn't work for me. Another one that doesn't quite relate to the question. I'll breakaway halfway through my life? How do your friends see you? Whenever You Remember - Carrie Underwood Ah yes. My friends always say I have a 2GB memory. Maybe they see me as one with really good memory? Will you get married? Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5 This question tickles me as much as the answer does! LOL! So in other words, I don't have an answer to this question, yet. What is your best fr...

What If One Is Using Laughter As A Facade To Sorrow? As A Close Friend, Can You See It? says: i noe u dislike me all along, dun need to be so expressive this time rite! cupid's automatic musta fired multiple shots. says: ??? What If One Is Using Laughter As A Facade To Sorrow? As A Close Friend, Can You See It? says: dun act already cupid's automatic musta fired multiple shots. says: frankly speaking Max, you make me feel upset cupid's automatic musta fired multiple shots. says: I don't even know what I did What If One Is Using Laughter As A Facade To Sorrow? As A Close Friend, Can You See It? says: purposely dun invite me one rite? cupid's automatic musta fired multiple shots. says: I didn't do that on purpose cupid's automatic musta fired multiple shots. says: you always don't turn up for gatherings cupid's automatic musta fired multiple shots. says: so I assumed you wouldn't want to come this time cupid's automatic musta fired multiple sho...

Have lost 3kg since the start of this year because of a sudden loss of interest in food. Unbelievable but yes, very true and my weighing scale's still in good working condition so it shouldn't be lying. HOWEVER, I think this holiday brings with it my appetite and I can feel my weight returning. And because my weighing machine has always been honest, I don't quite want to approach it to ask for my current weight. Or it shall twist my heart. Man. Went for COH this morning and almost died of decomposition. Deluge came before I could even reach home. I DID use my brolly but didn't seem of any use, since I was still drenched anyway. BUT I still love rainy days! Time for my power nap before I start on intensive Math drilling later. Oh yeah. I can't believe it myself. These days I actually kept dreaming of Math equations, even when I dozed off during the seminar yesterday. How cool.

Mengli you lied. It doesn't work to make a wish at 11.11.

Finally a swim with Zhi. A little more tanned again! Have talked sooooo much about it to her and she remarked that I seemed so contented. I think I really am! No idea why on earth I went to the seminar. Teachers dozed off too. But I saw Zhi Yuan! Too bad Darling didn't go! Not really in the mood for any more so shall end off with a song. It takes a crane to build a crane it takes two floors to make a story it takes an egg to make a hen it takes a hen to make an egg there is no end to what I’m saying It takes a thought to make a word and it takes some words to make an action it takes some work to make it work it takes some good to make it hurt it takes some bad for satisfaction la la la la la la la life is wonderful ah la la la la la la life goes full circle ah la la la la la la life is wonderful al la la la la It takes a night to make it dawn and it takes a day to make you yawn brother it takes some old to make you young it takes some cold to know the sun it takes the one to have ...

I'm happy. Thank you! Content.. Please be contented GL. Not any more than this.

Congrats to Chris. I think he did well and he kind of stunned me by saying he thought A levels wasn't the toughest thing on earth after all. And he told me he believed I'll do better. Gosh, I can feel the pressure. Lik Teck and Alex did fine too. 2 people (A levels Chinese result only) really gave me a shock though... LC dinner was cancelled, but boredom was killing YC and me so we decided to ask YY out for dinner eventually. Cafe Cartel! Been a long time since I last ate there. The last time was Feb 1 in 2007 if I did not recall wrongly. Food tasted great like before, waiting time was almost interminable like before. YY footed half my bill(intended as a belated birthday treat), man, I got so bloated by spending just 6 or 7 bucks! I love YY. Haircut with YY at WM but he commented that mine didn't make a slight difference at all. So I knew I just dumped 10 bucks into the waste paper bin again. Zhi, Angie and Zi Rui came to join us and we strolled(literally) to the playground...

PC was so darn slack and being the full-time slacker I always am, loved it to the max. But the highlight of PC today was Miss Choo's leg! Not that I'm a psycho who goes around looking at people's legs. Miss Choo has a Doraemon tattoo on her leg! I quite liked it, really. Received my belated birthday present from Yu Han last week too. 4 Doraemon pens. I love them truckloads. WM with Zhi today and man, I should have gone much earlier if I'd known there are so many Doraemon stuffs in Comics Connection. I want the Doraemon mechanical pencil! The Doraemon handphone accessories! The highlighters! The BIG Doraemon Scholar soft toy(that cost forty bucks)! And the handphone strap which I still cannot get off my mind till now. It's been sinful enough because I've spent 20 bucks in a day and so, I left the shop with one Doraemon keychain and a sticker album for my sis. Tragic. Yet, I chanced upon the displays outside which really made me smile! Well though as a fact, the p...

Superficial it may seem, but defintitely encouraging, especially for one who's losing any glimmer of hope. I've embarked on a new journey, looking out for new hopes and dreams, and at the same time TRYING very hard to put aside any hatred that was growing in me. Along the way, some have left the path I'm on now for other paths, which they probably thought would offer better prospects. Some remain, but apparently they get tired of the never changing routines and detest them as much as I do. I can't believe this. Ms Bay's leaving next week. That's like so super fast but I know she'll still be the one I grumble about Sadako to! It's a Wednesday. And I'm anticipating. The start of March holidays shall open up my cage and free me from all sorts of torment, FOR APPROXIMATELY NINE DAYS. (Note: 'Approximately' used because there are still 4 seminars to attend during the holidays, therefore cutting short the holidays which are exclusively mine!) My li...

Brenda's so Ellaish! Her Chinese name, her voice and now, her hair! And I can't stop laughing whenever I turn and see her new hairstyle! Friend, you're so lucky to be mentioned by me. And I'm glad you've made my day. More haircuts! There's a CSC test on the Econs part just less than 24 hours from now yet my mind's a blank, totally. The Econs portion is forever my jinx and never fails to demoralise me. Oh, speaking of which, reminds me of Math. I actually didn't screw up too much of the Math test taken last week (rushed to school at 11a.m. to take it) when I was supposed to be darn sick that day! Secured a pass but seemingly many in the class are catching up. Now I have to buck up even more, with everyone vying to reach the zenith. I love such competitiveness at times. Life's such a bore without these competitions. My tonsils are finally at their worst stage and they're causing me excruciating pain, probably reminding me to abstain from eating spi...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAN HONG! 5th year I'm wishing you! You are so darn lucky:D I think I'm going to have a hard, really hard time typing this entry. Currently facing problems straightening my wrist. An hour of game with Zhi was enough to cripple me. Feels darn numb now and this downright sucks because I can't even hold my mug. I'm not exaggerating, really am not. Content quiz tomorrow and nice Max has given me hopes again. Now I just have to be blessed with energy tomorrow morning because trying not to doze off during tests is always a challenging task. Oh yeah, and maybe an arm with strength too. I think I can't even write now. Right I better stop here before my wrist breaks off. I repeat, this sucks.

How the hell'd we wind up like this And why weren't we able To see the signs that we missed And try to turn the tables I wish you'd unclench your fists And unpack your suitcase Lately there's been too much of this But don't think it's too late Nothing's wrong Just as long as you know that someday I will Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright But not right now I know you're wondering when You're the only one who knows that Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright But not right now I know you're wondering when Well I'd hope that since we're here anyway That we could end up saying Things we've always needed to say So we could end up staying Now the story's played out like this Just like a paperback novel Let's rewrite an ending that fits Instead of a Hollywood horror