past.

Nobita recalls the past. This is where it gets extremely upsetting. Doraemon is not responding anymore.... :(

Day 2 without Angie and Day 1 without Zhi. And EH CHRIS! has left for India and it's going to be a long 6 weeks before I get to ask him for lunch or dinner again! I haven't been a good friendddddddddd Max is leaving for Taiwan soon and that makes it a triple sian-ness. There's EL midterm tomorrow and I'm absolutely unprepared for it so it's the fourth. (My sentences seem kind of paratatic huh?) I shan't add anymore lest I die of depression. I'm beginning to feel it but I will try my best to suppress. The most unforgiveable thing about me is that I'm not forgiving enough. And I will learn. I don't want to try too hard to explain myself. Maybe we just have very differing points of view.

(click on image for bigger view) I always feel so sad when I see this again. I will post one per day. Tune in! As you can see, Nobita(大雄）has become a professional in the robotics field. (ever wonder why?) His 2 buddies from childhood saw him on TV and decided to meet up with him. (I've no idea who Dekisugi is though.) Nobita and company have all grown up. We can't stop growing, can we?

Day 1 without Angieeeeeeeeeee. I know my sisters think I'm unreasonable. I don't know how to let them know that I care. Maybe my actions just don't prove it. Because I myself is a bad example. I'm so worn out now. I need to sleep but I haven't studied for English mid-terms. I feel so demoralised. I feel so restless. But I still got to make it.

I heard "If You Come Back" over the radio in BHG today. Hearing Blue's songs in department stores or over the radio always makes me a happy person:) It's different from when you hear it on your mp3, it's that magical moment that you've been waiting for. Thank goodnesssssssssss the trip to the library today was a good one. I wished I could stay longer and then complete my assignment. Really really no more time to wasteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Just finished my China history tutorial readings on 佛学 and Enlightenment. Boring as it may sound, it is actually quite cool! Some may think the teachings will not be applicable in today's or maybe in Singapore's context. Well I'm sure simply by just reading it and absorbing it will make you a more calm and composed person:) Something that I learnt: The fact that you try to forget something shows that you have to exert effort (even if minimal) in order for yourself to remember to forget. But if you don't exert such effort at all, then you will forget that you actually have to forget! That's why I say I must learn to let things run their course:) Slowly but surely , hor Angie? HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUI YING:)

So sad my Ah-Ze is crying :( I think his acting is becoming betterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Last night I really felt so tired I could die. 10 consecutive days of late night sleeps. This is so killing me. Can't wait for all these to end. HAPPY BIRTHDAY YITING :)

Mum is back and she got me 2 books:) I know this is cheesy but I loveeeeeee my mum! I always think you should go to bookstores if you go to China. The books are so cheapppppppppp. Ok I think I will stop now. I've forgotten how to care for you. I always thought I know you best but maybe I don't? Things have changed, please don't deny. I don't have an innate apathy but I will TRY to care less, since everyone thinks I care too much. I never knew that it's not really a nice thing all the time to care for a friend. I've always wanted to be everyone's good friend, the best that I can be, one who will rush down to meet you (if I can) when you tell me you need someone to be there. Yet apparently I'm not achieving what I really hope to. I feel like I'm feeling what Max felt some time ago. (If I really do understand what he was feeling...) Sometimes I do like to be seen as a strong person but when the impression is glued, I can never be vulnerable. Ah chew you...

Just got home from a really late supper with kxg. He gave me a valuable birthday gift lol. I do miss him! What a girl wants is simple. Just to be sent home by a guy when it's late at night. This spells security :) Thankyou! Sometimes we just need someone to understand don't you think? I'm glad I tried :)

The assignments are weighing on me I feel so much like playing the old old Street Fighter Zero 2 to relieve stress. Nelson are you on? COME ON! YOU REALLY CANNNNNNNNNN. Don't be disheartened because of failures!

They still make me melt:)

I always know that the only thing that can demoralize me most is my studies. I really tried.

天啊！I must have been emo for too long. No one believes that I'm GENUINELY happy now! Bren doesn't believe me! Rui doesn't believe me! But it's ok :) I think I don't have to convince because I really am and I know you will feel it soon! P.S: I never thought I could kick the habit of scrolling down each time I logged in to MSN. Well I did it after all :) I really like to be happy, don't you ?  :)

Constant lack of sleep for 7 days! I will either die from fatigue or a bad throat soon. Studied and chatted and studied and chatted with xiuuuuuu till 3.30a.m just now (Y) I think my biological clock is once again altered. I'm living in timeless time, spaceless space again. But I guess it's not always nice to lose track of time. BECAUSE YOU WILL FORGET DEADLINES. Suddenly miss Ohanies quite a bit :)

If it's really the truth, let it be then. Not that I don't want to care, I'm just worn out already. And I'm too busy to bother. If thinking about it only makes me feel tired and miserable, then I'm not taking the risk. I reallyyyyyyyyyyy feel happier this way. Don't ever doubt me anymore. Is our 12 Jan deal still valid? We shall see :)

Everything happens for a reason. And so I hope you will understand. Out the whole day and mahjong till this morning. Never had a chance to blog! I know I'm late but still.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY COCONUT/MISS CAO! Thank you for always helping me and lending a listening ear and bringing so much joy to my life!

I just realised, that whole segment is gone. Just when I felt like reading it, it's gone. So fast that I never took notice of it. Goodbye to those days, to those memories I once held dear to me. The 'secret chamber' that reminded me of how I ran to the bus stop early in the morning, how I deliberately crossed paths with someone, how there was always a reason for me to look forward to school. Maybe it's a good thing after all. Because if it stayed, it might just remind me of how one becomes the main character when she was the one I told all my stories to. I really blame no one. But I do want to say thank you to you because you gave me strength to complete college. This time it's really goodbye :)

你的话我晓得 无论你说得多么温和 某一些难解的隔阂 把爱伤害了那多不值得 没什么好怪的 我已经乏力继续拉扯 没有谁非爱谁不可 就算变心了也非罪不可赦 她只是最最无辜的第三者 就算她消失此刻 告诉我能得回什么呢 责怪她又凭什么呢 她只是无意闯入的第三者 我们之间的困难 在她出现之前就有了 虽然我愤怒但是我明白的 把过错让她去背着 那是不对的 hey女孩你听着 所有爱情都有竞争者 我不妒忌你们快乐 虽然我人生因此有曲折 他还是不错的 我们的选择不是巧合 你用青春大胆假设 我去将失去活成一种获得

I'm not very well-off but I think a tall cup of white chocoloate mocha is a necessity I must afford per week. The taste of it makes me a happy and complete person! Are my pictures these days more optimistic? I'm learning to be happy :) I'm doing all I can to keep you. I hope you will show your appreciation by just living your life properly. Don't make me regret. I might hate you.

I watched 3 movies within 2 days! 14 Blades, All's Well Ends Well 2010 and 72 Tenants of Prosperity. I think all 3 are good movies because I caught them with great company :) Xiuxiu and gang came over last night and we slacked till 4a.m. I'm super deprived of sleep right now.... But it was reallyyyyyy gooooddddd to catch up with the girls :) Thank you ah chew for inviting Sheena Mel and me to your place today :) And thank you Auntie Chew for the sumptuous lunch :) Chatted with Sheena on the train and we were both so 无奈. Sigh. Thank you Max for being such a great host (losing so much money to me!). I'm really on a winning streak today! (smiles widely) And thank you Uncle and Auntie Lim for the treat to Sakura buffet. Really enjoyed tremendously. Mum's going off to China and the maid has gone back to Indonesia. No more good home-cooked food for the next one week :( I just want to care for you but you keep doing things that hurt yourself and people around you. Why must you...

Watched another comedy today. 72 Tenants of Prosperity is just the right film for me because it features all the TVB actors and actresses I like :) I think it's a suitable show for all HK drama lovers. Comedy makes me happy. If you haven't laughed this new year, go catch it.

Happy Chinese New Year and Happy Valentine's Day :) Anyone disagrees with me that we're no longer as hyped up about Chinese New Year in recent years as we were when we were much younger? I don't go visiting anymore, maybe only to my friends' places. Neither do people really come to mine. My family and I can just spend the day lazing at home and have the television switched on for a straight 8 hours? But I do enjoy such peace :) My uncle came over with my quadruplet cousins just now. I think we have drifted yet again. They've grown up and become quite brazen. I don't like them to be like that, awful language usage and 'prematured' mindsets. I do miss the innocent kids they used to be. But I got to accept it somehow. I've never seen my brother make cards for anyone except for the Teacher's Day card he drew in primary school. Not even for my mum. He would spend money to purchase one. But he actually made a Valentine's Day card for a girl last ...

You killed me for the nth time. 我难过得想哭，憋得好辛苦。 我又没有做错事，为什么这样对我。 Comedies make me happy. I wished they last longer.

在我天真地以为我已经吐露自己最真实最坦白的心事时，也许有人正在一边嘲笑我的幼稚。 HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHI!! :DDD Time passes so much faster than we could have expected. The 3rd Ohana member has joined the gang of 20s. While time leaves "scars" on us (physically) as we grow up, we are also trying to leave indelible marks in the passage of time. In comparison with the past which might just bring back unpleasant memories, sometimes it is always nicer to look ahead because the feeling of the unknown is always worth looking forward to, right? (even though at times the feeling of the unknown is too foreign and unpredictable) Thank you all Ohanies for the gifts and cards :) 向西交通阻塞 我决定下车自己走 慢点还是会到的 向东又淋雨了 云散了人还湿透着 彩虹却浮现了 会累但很想冲 我好奇不停破关后 未来究竟多不同 会痛还能忍受 太倔强是好是坏呢 答案随时变动 有人说要拼命加入热门人生才幸福 其实能找到爱的另类人生才被羡慕 为最爱的事物拿真心去付出 那快乐会胜过获得最贵的礼物 有人说赢得热门人生才满足 其实有更多美景在最少人去的山谷 为自己而投入不为了比胜负 我微笑学会了去未来有很多路

I have huge responsibilities probably from the moment I was born (or my sisters?). Everything I do, I have to consider the consequences. Not for my own good, but for my sisters'. I painted my nails yesterday. And then my mum commented, "洗掉啦，等一下她又学你。" I wanted to get a good badminton racket for myself today. And then my mum said, "最好不要啦，等一下你的妹妹也吵要。" When I come home late, my mum will say, "不要一直这么迟回来hor,不然我怎么跟你的妹妹交待。" Today my mum said to me, "你要想到,你每做一件事，都会有两个小的跟你学。" I know my mum trusts me. But I think it's funny how my actions are not restricted by her but my sisters. It's as if the smell of freedom is lingering in the air but I can barely feel it. Finished reading a book today, 《你总有爱我的一天》. Nice. Really look forward to watching 14 Blades with Ohanies tomorrow (even though I really don't want to go back to that place....) 唯一不同的是，你永远不会....

1. Yup, and so it marks the start of a one-week break (if you don't include the never-ending readings and assignments I have to do) and also a festive season. Nice (Y). 2. I will work harder and cope with all these. Simply because I don't like to lose. P lease constantly remind me if you think I'm giving up on myself :) I promise I won't throw in the towel just yet. 3. Work aside, I can't wait to enjoy myself during CNY. 4. Surprised Joel and I guess it was kinda a success since he was shocked to see me there. 5. Finished 《收到你的信已经太迟》last night (or was it this morning since it was 1.30a.m?). I love happy endings. 6. I've been craving for white chocolate mocha from Starbucks everyday ever since the first time I drank it at I-forgot-where. I drink it once a week now but I think it's not enough to satisfy my craving. (can't believe I used to hate coffee so much) 7. Zhi, you shouldn't buy 赤壁 because 秦始皇 didn't start the war because of 小乔 and so the m...

Sometimes, it is not sorrows that drown you. It's DEADLINES. I am probably going siao anytime soon. SSA2221 -Response Paper 2 -Term assignment CH2141 -2 essays CH2243 -1 Essay EL2211 -Project Since I have an advantage (an almost 3-day week) over many others, I shall make good use of it and the best out of it. Meanwhile I'll pray hard that I can refrain from temptations.

Valane called me just now. She said 4 sets of CTSS stamps were missing. Apparently I left the reception table unattended on Friday and some people either mistook the stamps for souvenirs or jolly well stole them. I choose to think it's the earlier (even though I put a big sign that said STAMPS FOR SALE). I think my carelessness is unforgiveable.

After all that happened, I came to realise I am strong. Maybe I should really be proud of myself :)

My sis is watching Time Traveller's Wife on the net. It reminded me of how Coconut and I emo-ed all the way home after watching. It reminded me of who recommended me the book. It reminded me of how we discussed about the movie and the plot. It reminded me of the past conversations. And then, all the way back. I really think life is so happening hahaha 第三集 - 属于 她很久没上Friendster了。这个联络网很流行，是交际的好工具。 她把鼠标移到他的名字，点击了一下。 来到他个人资料的这一页，她愕然。 她觉得自己像个大白痴。原来，他早就有女朋友。而且还是他们的小学同学。 “我干嘛啊？！又不是喜欢他，妒忌什么嘛！”她心里这么想。 说也奇怪，几个星期以来的网上谈话突然也停止了。 那倒也是。有女朋友总会比较忙的吧？ 他们两个在学校也很少见面。毕竟修读的科目也不同，碰上的机会自然不多。 她把电脑关掉，跳到床上继续读着那本Cecelia Ahern的《If You Could See Me Now》 。 或许吧或许我永远都不要遇见他 或许吧或许我太天真了吧 属于 我的昨天之前的结局 我决定我的决定 属于 我的明天之后的憧憬 我迷信我的迷信 属于 我们点点滴滴的伤心 我们要各自忘记 属于 我们闪闪发亮的爱情 我们再一起努力 属于 风的那就去飞翔吧 属于 海洋的那就汹涌的 属于 我们的爱该来的就来吧 为什么不敢呢不要呢?

I'm not sure if that was a right thing to do. Yes, I have a guilty conscious right now. Maybe it was a wrong way to care. I know I have been a failure, very petty, not understanding. I do feel ashamed of myself. I don't know what to say, don't know what I can do. I should really stop bitching I know. What more can I say? I will try. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM I LOVE YOU

CNY shopping with mum in the afternoon. I think I just spammed the basket with tidbits and sweets! Was making good use of the opportunity I hardly get to go shopping with my mum :D Shopping with girlfriends! Fruitful trip! Dinner at Pepperlunch (Y) Life is indeed an irony. I only realised that such days are happier. Expectations really change situations. 第二集 - 我还记得 重新认识，感觉不同了。 好像陌生了，但当中又有点亲切。 他们总会在网上聊天。天南地北，什么都可以聊。 尤其拥有共同回忆，更可以把往事搬出来说。 “我还记得你以前是班上最文静的同学！”她说。 “是啊！不过现在也一样！我很内向的！”他答道。 对着电脑荧光屏，她笑了。 即使是隔着两台电脑，他总能令她发笑。

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAN YANG AND TENG YU :) I think the alumni gathering was successful. Thank goodness. And really appreciate the people who came. A gathering will not be considered successful if the target audiences don't turn up, right? Oh yes so many seniors recognised me ohmytian I am very touched. Good job Valane and Lisar (Y) And I know this is random but I really appreciate your presence Ohana girls :) Thank you Peiwei rach ktyx Samantha (did I miss anyone out?) for the dangdang and the cookies. That's my 8th! I did work in library today. I think I was productive :) Am going to try that more often! 第一集 - 交汇 你是否想过一个人在你生命里消失，或许会再出现？ 事事无绝对，也许你应该相信。 儿时的他们是好朋友。但也许小学同学大多都不会有长久要好的朋友。或许是有的，但不是他们。 最后一次见面是十二岁小六毕业的时候。 再次见面是十七岁高中的第一天。 “喂！”他大声喊。 她转过头，有点吃惊。 “记得我吧？” “当然！你瘦好多！” 两人都微笑。 是的。一个人在你生命里消失过，并不代表他不会再出现。

不知道从什么时候开始，我又开始过一个人的生活。 但这不失为一种享受:) 一个人的视野也可以很广阔。 一个人也可以不感到寂寞。 No one is obliged to treat you nicer, better. Perhaps only yourself:)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUI :) What can I say? You're the bestest best friend I can ever have :) Thanks for always having been the reason why I should smile! 我们又长大了。

I really feel lousy when nothing's accomplished. To make it worse, I continue to slack. I'm trying I'm trying. Believe me, I can do it okay? For myself, I must reach the top like how I always aspired to do it and managed to do it eventually. How long will this 'cold war' last? I don't want to lose a friend because of nothing important. Why make it seem like it's my fault now?