past.

Nobody is indispensable. You got to learn to live on your own. Perhaps no one's really worth your trust. Trust nobody, but yourself. Everyone's selfish in a way. You got to know how to say NO. I've learnt.

My com is revived! So now I can upload some pictures which I failed to way back then... Firstly, FAREWELL FOR ME.. We had pastamania delivery but I thought quite sucked. Will miss this bunch of people man :) We got too bored I guess, so we started taking random pictures of anything we could find in the room. I was lazy to walk around so why not just snap some ........ I LIKE~~~ Then it was the making of fairy cupcakes with cowieee and shermieee! I'm superrrrr tempted to put up the unglam photographs of Miss Cao but I figured I should not or she's so going to kill me. :D Colour accent in YELLOW :D (I was so patronising Ms Cao as you can tell from my expression) Almost there! I think our cupcakes are damn appetizing. Fyi, they tasted really great. Mahjong! Those two conspired while I went to get something but too bad, their plot didn't work out! Anyway, 'high' evening!

I survived, again. I wouldn't say everything was a breeze but at least I'm still alive, typing an entry here. Kind of miss Coconut Starfruit and Watermelon. Can get rather mundane in my current workplace and I keep walking to the wrong table because the staff room is such a maze :( Many a times I end up feeling so malu when I walked to the wrong table.. Unlike last time, the resource room only had Lychee Eggplant Watermelon Coconut Starfruit Blueberry Nectarine and me! We could gossip about everything under the sun. Now? It's only me and worksheets and me and books and me and an empty tables beside and behind me. This is my life.

Today has to be a beautiful Tuesday. Not because it is in comparison with yesterday, it’s just lovely on its own :) Did get a little impatient when the bus took forever to come in the morning. What’s worse? Cramped! BUT. Entered staff room to spot an eye-catching postcard (with HOT PINK words) lying on my table. An encouragement card from Ms Tnee! A message telling me not to be intimidated by the big kids. So I thought I was a little more positive after that. Amazingly and true enough, lessons turned out fine, even though kids are still kids, noisy as ever. I was glad I prepared myself the day before for possible questions that might be raised… Goodfriend texted when I returned to staff room. “Don’t like just quit? Nothing beats having happiness. But I know YOU CAN ENDURE ALL THESE.” I love goodfriend! Very touched to see that line (in caps). Thanks for making me feel that I can be strong if I want to :) Met Shermaine and Wei Xin to chill at the latter’s place. Slacking is good. Edwina...

I can’t believe I’m typing this on Word. (that means when you see this I have transferred the word document la) YES I AM. Internet is down once again and I feel so deprived. To make things worse, this feeling of pique due to the deprivation of the Internet is coupled with a totally screwed morning I had earlier. What a bad day to start the week, right?! I am NOT crazy that I actually mistook Word for Blogger. It’s just that I am so full of grievances and I have to pen it down at this moment. Yes I know I have been very whiny the whole day, I mean to those who have heard me grumble non-stop. The kids (okay maybe students not kids, even though they really behave like KIDS) I’m dealing with now are like at least 10 centimetres taller than those I dealt with before this. I definitely do not doubt their intellectuals but at the same time, I believeD they would be an easier bunch to assess. After all, they are teens, whose level of maturity should at least be higher than that of a 12-year-ol...

My blog is so neglected due to the fact that my internet server was down for a good couple of days. Let's see. Saturday was carnival. Sucks big time alright. It was like the worst, alright let's say it's MOST BORING Speech Day I have ever been to. On a happier note, tea at Munch Kings and Queens with Joel Darren and Wan Ting was much more enjoyable. Settlement of Catan was good game ;) Met Bren and Hui Ying last night! Haven't seen them for eons. Next week. Not at all looking forward. Life's going to be much more stressful for me because I'm doing something almost contrary to what my interest or forte lies in. I must practise hard now!

Wednesday night was dinner with Yoke Hwee and Chris. And tada, off Chris flew to Germany. Interesting day I had with Yoke Hwee the joker around. Visit to Mrs Tey's today and Joshua has put on weight! But still so cute :D Was nice to catch up with Mrs Tey whom I have almost lost touch with. I seriously don't know what's wrong with us you know? I think I'm not even a part of your world anymore. Everything's just out of place. Yet again, it's as if both of us can now move on without each other.

Never had the chance to say and never will have. I'll keep the truth with me for as long as it is to be kept.

Spent the afternoon doing marking with Miss Cao while enjoying our yummy beef spaghetti. It was good! Omgness so auntie we were digging for cheap stuff yet again (ok maybe more of me). Cheap cheap books on sale ohmytian! Oh yes, we naughtily bought a tamagouchi each =xxxx I hate my day because of the class I took and will still be taking tomorrow but afternoon was thankfully great :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE :D

Nelson texted last night. Sweet. I MISS THIS FRIEND OF MINE. Hang in there dude ;) Evening with Darling was lovely. Cheap deals, cheap dinner. Darling got me a belated birthday present which I love a lot a lot! Thanks dear :) Tomorrow's Monday again and yes, trying to tell myself NO MONDAY BLUES. Mission almost impossible but still worth an attempt. Oh well..

Apart from the Great Depression I plunged into and the haunting nightmares that never seem to end even till now, past two days have been rather happening. Thursday afternoon was well-spent with Wei Xin, Yan Hong and Ser Hui. Oriental baked rice was sufficiently satisfying even though it probably only caused more harm to my already vulnerable throat. Next was a walk in NTUC! Okay this sounds amusing perhaps but yes, we went in and came out with nothing. Spent the time inside to talk about recipes etc LOL. Nevertheless, it was great time spent and I seriously cannot imagine how much more mundane life will get from next month onwards... Good Friday was no doubt GOOD. Totally brilliant. Finally FULL STRENGTH for Ohana :) Dined at White Dog Cafe which served really great food, even though SMALL portions LOL (LCfamily indeed!). Rui's Fish & Chips My Oven-baked Rice with Pork Chop Angie's/Fel's/Zhi's Oven-baked Rice with Chicken (Doesn't it look like mine?!) YC's A...

I'm only human. Please treat me like one

Our little choice could take us off on a different direction thousands of miles away from where we wanted to be. Am I losing hope and being so paranoid because I ain't feeling well? Shrugs. Everything seems so bad and once again I feel so super pessimistic. Until... I met Miss Chiew on the bus. Nice talking to her and she encouraged me a lot. I wouldn't say she is a brilliant GP tutor but I would say she is a really nice friend. Though still, I feel very unwell and I think I can faint anytime.

Maybe there is more to a person than a body and a mind. Maybe something else figures into the mix - not a soul, exactly, but a spirit that hints you might one day be greater, stronger than you are now. A promise; a potential. Thursday's game was awesome, albeit we're aching all over right now. However, no idea when the next game will be since Zhi has started work again. Glad that yesterday was almost a breeze. P1 kids were rowdy but definitely still manageable. Bohemianbaby is getting extremely bored these days. Yep, that's because its owner has been bound by laws of the same routine within this week. Hardly enjoyed life this week and worse, getting busier with tuition and all. No news from uni yet and it's really troubling me. The only avenue to relax and not brood over it is to occupy myself with lovely tales. Interest for Wright's novel is escalating. I quite like it especially towards the back. Am seriously anticipating the last part where I can unravel the trut...

I can't wait to see you grow old and senile so that I can send you to the old folk's home.

Oh yes, this time I'm really officially out of Guides. I was but no longer a part of CTS 1st Coy. Hopefully I'm determined not to go back anymore. Suddenly all the memories returned. So lucid and unforgettable, with my fellow Guide sisters. The lovely times when we showered together, got pumped together, went crazy together. Many a times, I foolishly thought that I could relive these memories by going back to help. But nope. Instead, the current company slowly devours the passion I had for guiding. The little fragments here and there can't just be pieced back because of my contributions to the company. Now, thinking back, I should really just laugh at my foolishness. Right, no more obligation. This is a very big chapter in my life and there, I'm closing it.