past.

What a week! I'm craving for anything that's salty and sweet (sweet especially) and a sweet tooth is kinda unlike me. Tomorrow is Wednesday! Wednesdays are my Mac days (I still have a soft spot for the honey chipotle shaker fries) but tomorrow shall be an exception:( Everyday is like a breeze, like how HY described, breeze because it comes and goes too quickly that I barely realised anything. It's absolute madness, but I'm doing just fine although not exactly on track yet. I so want to press restart really. Edits: Today is the last day of August! That means AhWU's new show debuts tomorrow!!!! :DDDDD

Suddenly I feel that too much said will just be redundant. The unspoken only is the truest. And it just struck me that the secret chamber will never happen again. It was kinda plain stupidity.

正因为辛苦，所以更加需要努力。 If what I'm going through right now is hell, then all the more I'll keep going.

There are 15 people in one of my modules. Yesterday, our teacher asked every one of us a question, each a different one. 14 people managed to answer his questions, the 15th one who did not is me. Thing is, I did my revision on the things he taught before going for that lesson. Still? It's a very big humiliation. I don't know why I choose to put it like this. It's just not something I can swallow down. Recently I keep thinking back on how I was always an outstanding student, at least in my college years. Yesterday Yonggee told me that when in college, everytime my name was called she would naturally think of a very capable and outstanding student. I have no intention to boast but I really felt proud of myself too. But today, I just want to be an ostrich that digs a hole in the ground and hide my head. I keep harping on wanting to find my fighting spirit back but in the process, I lost a lot of time. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't really care about proving m...

我想把那斗志找回来.

For the first time this sem I went to school with girl. Haven't gone to school together for so long that it reminded me I was so dependent on her to find my way around the school last academic year. Not that I know my way extremely well now but I'm slightly more independent than before. I think I deserve a pat on my back. I'm actually very keen on YOG's closing ceremony but unfortunately... Oh well. Tsu said something which made me laugh to myself today. Haven't heard anyone say before but I doubt anyone will anyway. I constantly remind myself that I will never allow myself to be as daring as before because I've fallen too many times. Being the low-risk taker I always am, I will walk the path I find safest and yes, that's that.

It's been raining at really awkward timings. Mad hot in the day when I was on my way to school and crazy downpour when I was about to go home. Thank goodness for the company and girl's lift home. I think one reason I don't want to learn driving is likely to be that I can forever have an excuse to hitch a ride and not have to be behind the steering wheel myself. What a daydream at this time of the day. The pitter-patters on my windows are making me sleepy now. Such weather is what I always hate to compete with. The tension is peaking and I'm gradually suffocating. I hope I try harder because I am not. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLUR:)

When was the last time I saw Ohana? Gosh I don't remember. But from yesterday the count restarted from zero once again. Feel that we don't behave like twenties whenever we come together, and I believe that spells some good news because it shows we're still youthful. Fel you are very missed by the way! I guess it's the lack of sleep that I walked in a zigzag manner just now. My world was kinda spinning and I thought I might just die of fatigue. Seriously man. I resolve to go swimming on a more regular basis after the 7th month. I still cannot accept that I gained one friggin' kilogram. I must start walking home after school again. No more bus rides. Sometimes I just got to learn. And I think I'm not trying hard enough. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ESTHER:)

Frankly, I hate going to Marina with Ohana.

I've been having bad dreams. Last night I dreamt of a man in black appearing wherever I go. I think he wanted to harm me. But he never did. This afternoon while taking my power nap I dreamt that my residential area was plagued with tsunami and earthquake. The prospects of such may seem highly unlikely or so close to impossible, but really they felt so real and they made me realise how much I do not want to die yet. I haven't got at least a degree!

Familiarity breeds contempt, nice. Seeing her just now reminds me of how much I miss this very very good friend. I recall the old days when we were not on talking terms and I really think we wasted a lot of time then. Now that she's leaving soon, it's quite pointless to feel bad about it. If only I can borrow dangdang's time machine. Aw crap. I keep telling myself, all will be over soon!

JIAYOU GL!

It's dumb, it's wrong. Stop thinking. Some people are irrational and make wrong decisions because they prioritize their happiness and then neglect all possible consequences.

I'm simply made a happy person again with the company of the rainbow and the sunshine and an awesome scoop of the truly-mango ice cream! :) I think it's really not easy to keep up with JC first-three-months friends for so long! We did it! Thank you 彩虹阿姨 and 阳光男孩! Too bad Rain is not here! Hope you enjoyed your birthday Sunshine boy! And although I'm really really sleepy, I shall persevere and finish my readings for tomorrow!

It's only the second day of the second week and I'm beginning to pull my hair! I think it's very intense right now. I have so many readings!!! I tried to tell myself 'It's all in the mind' but apparently it's not working!! I'm like trying so hard to cram everything into my tiny brain ohgosh. Chill please chill. It's a long way. You're on your own now! 欲速则不达！ It's a good friend's big day so... HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUNSHINE BOY!:)

No Monday blues:) On my way to school, I passed by the newspaper vendor and I was so happy!!! Fengfeng was on the cover of 8 days! AhZe was on the cover of U weekly! I bought Newpaper and both of them were featured in it! How can I not be happy!!! School makes me a happy person today too. I made a new friend. She's very interesting. And I met Chewchew for dinner! And I saw Ade and JY! And I saw EH CHRIS! And I saw Ben and HY! And I saw 9 other familiar faces! Then LX drove me home. How can I have any Monday blues on such a lovely Monday?! (even though my angmoh lecturer today wasn't that charismatic) I know I shouldn't think too much. School is enough to keep me occupied:)

I was attempting to check if the latest episode of my show has been uploaded when I realised that all China entertainment sites have ceased operation for the day, to mourn for the victims of the severe Zhou Qu mudslide. I feel ashamed of myself for not knowing till my sister mentioned just now. I checked out the statistics and they made my jaws drop. I recalled 邓姐's hometown is around that area and I quickly reached for my phone and dropped her a text to ask if everything is fine. I hope it is. While contending with my environment that's free from such geological hazards, I wish there is something I can do for the people there. There must still be a crowd of crying, panicking people searching for their loved ones despite the continuous torrential debris flows. This reminds me of an essay my brother wrote in p6. Any victim could be a stranger to us, but he could have been the only son of an old couple, the father of a small child, the supportive husband of a now-widowed wo...

To mark the significance (actually I know there isn't any) of my 1650th post, this is a simple quiz for my very avid readers whom I believe are people that know me rather well to be able to gain access to this space! First 3 readers to get all questions correct will win a prize (Yes I promise)! 1. What is my favourite colour? 2. What is my lucky number? 3. What do I name my Canon IXUS digital camera?

And so I was feeling very bored at 6p.m. just now that I decided to go out and take a walk. I made a trip down to Bugis (again...) and spent most of the time in Kino. I'm not sure whether to be proud of myself that I have so many Kino plastic bags now (that means I've been spending a lot on books). I finally couldn't resist the temptation and bought the crime fiction by Higashino Keigo. But nooooo, I promise myself I will not read it anytime soon. I need to spend some time on my school books I know that! Spent like 2.5 hours outside that I realised I am still very afraid of going out alone on a weekend night. The masses of people intimidate me, but what intimidates me more is the chance of seeing familiar faces which I believe I am not ready to approach, just yet. I wanted to shop around for a while more but many possibilities flashed past my mind and so I thought it was best to be back home. Scaredy cat huh? I guess it's not a small wound. It's an eternal one. I th...

I heard that there's been a circulation of counterfeit S$50 banknotes (particularly in Boon Lay area I think) today! So do be careful if anyone approaches you and attempts to change for smaller denominations of cash with a $50 note! The reporters have been informed and the news might report on teevee later this evening. There have been similar cases earlier this year and you can navigate to the website http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/3552/4124/196886 to know more, and maybe to take note of how to check the authenticity of a banknote! Don't be too paranoid but do check your note if you happen to get one these days!

Mum is fine! Thank you to friends who have expressed concern these two days, I really appreciate:) Now it's a big rock off my chest and I shall focus on what I wanted to do. A little bit of digression, I think she's really pretty!!

我最怕别人问我，“你好吗？”

"For almost two years you've been missing from my life. I remember the days I loved you so much. No, in fact I still do. College days were when I realised how much I love you. And getting to see you everyday was the greatest joy. After two years, I'm finally seeing you again. I feel a little uncertain, yet excited. I'm just worried about getting along with you all over again but I'm sure that if I try, nothing is an issue! I'll see you tomorrow! Wait for me!!!" The above extract is specially dedicated to my favourite friend, MATHEMATICS. I'm finally touching Mathematics again this semester! No words can express my excitement please! I've definitely lost touch but hopefully I can catch up soon! I reallyyyyyyy want to watch the play December Rains but it's ending soon! And damn ex. Goshhhh. Is anyone interested at all??

Yup school's tomorrow and I'm so dreading it but okay too bad I cannot run away. Am I harping on it too much? Ok whatever. Start of school means I'll have more stuff piling up -- books, notes, readings, etc. And so early this morning I threw my sister's collection of toys away (except for one particular Doraemon toy) to make space for my books. Drastic huh? I'm so proud of my zhangxiaoxian's series man. I really love them! As I was packing the really messy shelves I came across some books which I read when I was a lot younger. More than 10 years ago. There was this almost mind-boggling surge of nostalgia that made me so want to read them all over again. I also came to realise that there are quite some books on my shelves that I've never read before. And then a thirst of knowledge followed, which I thought was of course good. Sadly what I should be reading next is my stack of readings. Sometimes I wished I had discovered the joy of reading at an earlier age, ...

National Day gets less exciting each year that I no longer feel the atmosphere today. Well I guess that's not that important, is it? I'm just glad I spent half my day with really great company. Yiwen is back and I do love how we could hang out like before. The secondary two days are just so unforgettable. And then this also sets me thinking that no matter who I am with or where I am, I always think of Ohana. Like Sunshine Boy said, I wouldn't be able to focus/study if I knew my friends were having fun and I wished I were there. And so I decided I should join Ohanies at Max's place, and I did. Albeit a short while spent, I think it was worth the 45-minute trip down. Of course I'm also proud of myself that I came back early to do some constructive work because much as I am not looking forward, school is approaching. Oh crap. I guess it really takes time. I need to get used. I need to accept diversities in thinking, in mindsets. We are just born different, each in our ...

I wished you didn't say those words. But you did. And so the damage is done. It's okay if you don't intend to apologise. Because saying sorry is merely a second insult to me, which probably only causes more damage. If you think I'm in the wrong, okay I will take it. But don't expect me to talk this out with you now, a friendship is at stake.

Had our last stayover yesterday/today for the month or for these couple of months. Because the next stayover will probably be in December. We actually had our weekly stayover consecutively for 2 months! I decided I should put a box labelled "Ohana's belongings" in my room so that they can help themselves to the necessities which I always had to take and keep whenever they put up at my place. Sounds so fun! Last night was the longest HTHT but blonde Low fell asleep unfortunately (it's ok we didn't badmouth about you!!). Yes, school is reallyyyyyyyy starting, much as I hate it. I'm a little thankful that a part of me actually looks forward to the new semester, maybe because I have more friends now! Like chewchew! :D I want to make some resolutions, or at least I hope they serve as a reminder whenever I drop by my past entries. 1. Argue less. 2. Listen more. 3. Don't generalise. 4. Don't raise my voice no matter what. (damn difficult) 5. Be more spontaneo...

Even if this is getting nowhere, even if there's no consensus, I'm standing firm. I'm sticking to my principles.

I think I almost died with my internet connection down for 1 and a half days. How dreadful! Anyway, I counted the number of happy, neutral and sad faces in my organiser and I figured yesterday was a good day to be out since the number of sad faces had outnumbered the neutral ones, let alone the happy ones. I met Dez after a longggggggg time and yesterday was a good long time spent with her. For once I suddenly realised we share so many similarities and as always, things that she says always strike me hard. She kind of influenced me to get a book which kept me pondering over whether to get for weeks. $$$$$ Ouch. Nevertheless like I always say, books make good investment. (ok maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better) Oh yes, yesterday was kinda upsetting because the lady at Starbucks made a mistake in my order for white frap mocha :( As you can imagine I really didn't enjoy my drink. I got myself another part-time job that allows me to earn a 100bucks for a month. I think...

I can't wait!!! :DDDDDDDD

为什么我做什么都是错的呢？为什么每一件事，我付出我的真心，都要被误以为是不好的呢？我说话大声，不是生气，不是理直气壮，只是到了某个程度，当我觉得我的话对方已经听不进去了，我就觉得两人的距离远了，我的嗓门也变得大声，因为仿佛对方越来越听不见了。但事实上说话大声跟整件事根本就扯不上关系。我出于好意，却要说我错得很离谱。那我到底应该怎么做？教教我好吗？我真的很辛苦，我真的怕我快崩溃了。说对不起三个字的确不能够把裂痕遮掩，它的作用也可能是为让对方知道你重视两人之间的感情。但是当它一直被搬出来的时候，你应该知道，说的人也许慢慢在失去诚意，这三个字就失效了。

I can't do a a-piece-of-cake primary school Math question! Am I nuts?! I can't believe I'm doing Math again this coming semester. It might be the only thing that interests and excites me in my entire uni life.

I think people all have crazy thoughts. I'm not any exception. I know I shouldn't even harbour all these thoughts in the first place. But I know, I'd do it all again if warranted a go. And I'd fighter harder.

If there is one thing worth being happy about each day, then today it will be...... !!!!!!!!! AhWU = :) I don't know which girl can resist not smiling at the sight of AhWU's smile, I can't! Thank goodness I felt like looking at magazines today when I walked past the newspaper vendor. His new style is fabulous:)

I had my dosage of happy pills today:)