为什么我做什么都是错的呢？为什么每一件事，我付出我的真心，都要被误以为是不好的呢？我说话大声，不是生气，不是理直气壮，只是到了某个程度，当我觉得我的话对方已经听不进去了，我就觉得两人的距离远了，我的嗓门也变得大声，因为仿佛对方越来越听不见了。但事实上说话大声跟整件事根本就扯不上关系。我出于好意，却要说我错得很离谱。那我到底应该怎么做？教教我好吗？我真的很辛苦，我真的怕我快崩溃了。说对不起三个字的确不能够把裂痕遮掩，它的作用也可能是为让对方知道你重视两人之间的感情。但是当它一直被搬出来的时候，你应该知道，说的人也许慢慢在失去诚意，这三个字就失效了。
This CNY, I realised many things. I realised I have always envied families who go out as a whole for CNY visiting, or those who invite many relatives and friends over. I realised I am very afraid of the coming of CNY because CNY simply means watching movies and slacking at home for me. I love to watch movies, there is no doubt about that. Perhaps I just don't appreciate the latter because there is so much to face head-on. I hate the silence or otherwise awful hurlings at the dining table. I hate how I need to pretend to be hospitable to people I dislike. This year, I hid in my room when people I did not feel comfortable with came, then I was accused of being stubborn and impolite. Sometimes I really wonder if being myself is of imperative or being polite is. Whichever the case, I want to confess that I really feel tired and unhappy this CNY. The worst is that I feel that no one can understand because everyone I tried to rant this to tells me I should go home because it is CNY after...
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