past.

It's always nice to make confessions occasionally, because the truth in oneself comes to light and doesn't have to be kept till -God-knows-when- :/ 1. After today, I realised I really miss guiding! Especially with my fellow girls ): 2. Who can deny the fact that being loved and cared for is a real shiok and nice feeling? 3. I miss all the 'I love you's and SMSes and calls! >. 4. I have no idea what I'm feeling. 5. I'm quite certain of who my friends are now because I learnt so much during this period of time.

Was supposed to go swimming with Pei² in the morning but realised my BIG AUNT came looking for me. Didn't want to pollute the pool so decided to go some other day =xxx GSS does nothing but tempts people (especially women >. TERRIBLE! It was a day out with my fellow girls, the PLs, comprising SHEENA ESTHER NICOLLE NI and HM! Like finally, because SHEENA NIC and NI are apparently busy preparing for their O's! It's been a long time since we last went out together! We decided to save up for our sins (clothes, accessories, etc) so we didn't even have a proper lunch! SHEENA NI and I had bread while the other 3 of them had ice cream -.- LOL! WOMEN.... HM NIC and ESTHER got what they wanted in the end, leaving SHEENA NI and I with nothing bought because we couldn't find something we really liked! >. So sickening! =xxx Oh well. There's always a next time. Looking forward to my next shopping trip with Angie and YC! :DDD I LOVE SHOPPING! >.

I really enjoyed! -sumptuous dinner -MJ -teevee -pillow fight!! :D I didn't quite believe that we are actually JC students. More like a bunch of overgrown kids who are deprived of childhood! =xxx I REALLY LOVE HOLS :D

Spent almost 2 and a half days with Angie YC Zhi² Max and ZR! Lims' residence makes people grow horizontally, guarantee plus chop!! I'm quite deprived of sleep. Less than 6 hours of sleep for 2 consecutive days. LOL. GREAT MJ game. New style, new experience!! :D I'm off to bed. zZzz.

I didn't quite want to watch the last episode but I did anyway, after almost half a year. LOL. He gave up on the one he loved.

I really find today a very sinful one! Firstly, I didn't finish 2 questions for Maths test. And I didn't complete 3 questions for GP Current Affairs Quiz. Okay, put that aside. Went shopping with YC and Zhi² and ended up making myself feel super guilty!! Spent soooooo much on food (contributing to the never-losing fats in my body). +++ bought so many things! Jialat. The leftover pathetic small notes in my wallet are teasing me, telling me I'm a sinner. LOL. FINALLY. It's the JUNE HOLIDAYS. I FEEL TERRIBLY EXCITED!! Okay, I know this sounds kind of self-contradicting =xx But yup, this surge of ambivalence rises within me. On a happier note, DUH. Who doesn't want holidays?! But then, I'm so going to keep growing horizontally within these few weeks! Especially with the company of my LC friends! I just feel like eating when they're around me!! (excuse?) =xxxx Alrights, and some confessions here. 1. I'm not going to China. 2. I cried about 3 times this week. ...

DF#$#&*@RU*T*SGHCDKJBSKBVKJB VDJSBVJFGHSUFHRNVDNOSDKNFSLC KNALGKHFGOYRUOYGIOSHVIOSDHOS KNDKOSNKLNVDSKLnvdsiovNSDOIH VSIOVDNSOVNDOSJHGOSHDVOSDHVO SVHDOSIVHOSIVHIOSJVDOSJVOSIJ VDSOSIJDOSJIVOSJDVOSJVOSIjhv OSIHVOIHVOIVHIVHDIOShvSOIDHV IOSHDVFdshfdosvodvodifHSFHDO HSOIFHSOINVvnVNDJVDNVDSJDVHR HGSOIGJHOIJSOIjdfoisjdfojsfo sijfiosjdjfsiodjfiosjgiosjdi I JUST NEEDED AN OUTLET TO RELIEVE STRESS AND VENT MY FRUSTRATIONS BECAUSE I PROMISED MYSELF I WILL NOT USE ANYMORE VULGARITY IN MY ENTRIES OR ANYWHERE ELSE. SO THIS SEEMS TO BE THE ONLY WAY OUT, PLUS PUTTING MY WORDS IN CAPS. I TRIED TO LOOK FOR SOMEONE TO TALK TO BUT I CAME TO THINK OF IT, I GUESS NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING BECAUSE I HAVE A PROBLEM EXPRESSING MYSELF RIGHT NOW. NO ONE'S JUST GOING TO SPEAK RIGHT IN A FIT OF ANGER. HE'S THE STILL THE PERSON I WANT TO TALK TO BUT HE'S NEVER AVAILABLE SO YUP, LEAVE ME TO CONTINUE WITH MY CRAP HERE. I'M TIRED OF THE LIES MADE UP BY MYSELF AND COVERING THESE LIES...

Miss Fiona Goh suggested a treat from Benita and me but I thought it was better if I could treat the whole lot of PAE L01. And I kind of regret saying that earlier because I forgot to specify how many bowls even though I said I'm treating ice kachang!!! >. Last Yoga session today. A bit sad because the instructor has been so nice and it's been enjoyable doing Yoga all these while. Kind of glad that I did not skip any session :D And yeah, if I don't have 2 CCAs right now, I definitely will like to join Yoga club. TODAY IS MONDAY! Seldom see myself getting so HIGH on a Monday. Well, that's because this is the last Monday of the semester!! The week I've been waiting for, is here! I'm looking forward to Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and finally Saturday! HOLIDAYS, here I come!!! :D Sometimes no one's just going to understand how it really feels. I'm tired but I keep telling myself to go on. Yet I'm going on with the knowledge that this race nev...

CLDDS for the whole morning! Imagine majority of the audience was listening and looking at the same riddles over and over again! OH NO!!! This is the sianest thing on Earth. LOL. Supposed to go swimming today but cancelled it last night. And then I 心血来潮, decided to go again. So Zhi Zhi Angie 陪ed YC to go and buy her swimsuit. And I went home to pack my stuff. When we reached Max's house, this YC decided not to swim anymore!!! I almost went siao. LOLLL. So Angie and I swam anyway.. and we.. HAHA. LOL. WENT CRAZY lor. Then that Max taught YC mahjong!! FINALLY! A NEW PLAYER!! =xxx So SAD la. I won the last two rounds. FATED okay. I got to believe that I'm not that lucky. They know what I mean la. LOL. This part of the song really expresses what I want to say okay. 你比我清楚还要我说明白．

Skipped school, again, because my flu was killing me since last night. Persisting till now but much better, after a day of laughter. While I was about to leave my house for CT, Mdm Lee called and told me, "Congrats. You have got the scholarship." I was asked to meet her to receive the cert during Sports Meet but too bad, I wasn't even in school. HENG! =xx Had a hard time teaching the girls set ceremonies!! Almost died of a bad sore throat. LOL. So anyway, went to NJ to watch the CLDDS performance, where Nan Yang acted as a niang niang qiang!! =xx Went to KAP with the crazy lot after that. Missed them so much!! Even though we meet up all the time =xxx I didn't see him today! It's some achievement I guess. Yepps, and perhaps I'm attaining enlightenment soon >.

人心险恶，有时候真不知道相信谁好。我们不就是带着面具做人。有谁能够这一生都为人正直，一点虚假心都没有？再好的人都有他不好的一面。社会的现实，让我觉得好累。是只有新加坡才这样吗？还是人人都是如此？还有谁是信得过的？相信了这个人，他也许在背后刺你一刀。相信了那个人，他或许别有居心。不相信任何人，却得活在痛苦之中。做人，真不容易。做人，好难。 今天考了体能测验。真够烂的。就2.4公里嘛，竟然跑了16分钟多。在跑的过程，忽然就觉得我这一路走来也不容易。虽然只有十七岁，但这几年来也碰到不少挫折。刚刚跑了有4圈，就把眼镜摘下交给文婷。前面的路，一片模糊，只知道还有很长的路，似乎永远跑不完，真得很想放弃。就在最后一圈，Brenda 大哥、唯薇大妈、邓媛、佳丽、副帮主文婷，当然还有我最亲爱的芝芝，大伙人就跟我一块跑完那最后一圈。感激不尽！虽然结果还是蛮烂的，但毕竟这群人陪我跑完最后一圈，实在是我的推动力。要不是Brenda大哥带着受伤的腿还跟我一起向前冲，说不定我已经不及格了！还有大妈！说的话样样逗我大笑，让我深思！ 那人生的路呢？又有谁陪我跑? 我是不是会一个人跑完这一生呢？至少，到目前为止，我还没找到一个肯陪我一同跑的人。

Celebrated 林柄柄's birthday yesterday like we did last year! We got to believe time has wings. It's been one year already! The same old people were invited but we also had new guests this year. I had nothing much to give to the birthday boy except a bottle of Adidas deodorant. But that's something unique leh!! =xx And as always, I enjoy the company of my loved ones, the gang of LC people :D Alrights, yesterday he spoke to me over MSN, telling me he was sorry about being rude on MSN that day. See, I'm moving nearer than drifting away, once again.

Basically it was a busing day with YC today. First it was a ride back to CT to give my sec3s a survey to do while YC collected her O level cert. We nodded off to sleep on the bus while listening to my HP's MP3. So I ain't sure if I was complimenting or insulting the songs in that way. But definitely, those songs never fail to make me feel drowsy =xx Saw KX!!! OMG. The first time we talked after my confession =xxx Alrights, a bit out of topic. Back on track. We took the same bus AGAIN in the opposite direction to JP, supposedly to meet ZW and Fel. Though, in the end, they didn't turn up because of a change in venue -.- Alrights we met Yoke Hwee in Pop anyway. So I got a free foolscap pad out of nowhere. What a good deal :D No more bus rides :/ MRTed to BB to meet Miss KZW and Miss Fel Fel then we did a dumb thing at a shop. Each of us bought something similar and we were behaving like typical tai-tais after our purchase. *EXCITED* LOL =xx Fun time I had with the gang yesterd...

All's clear enough!! YC got into grand finals! DUH! She was great!! Believe it or not! I teared when the emcees announced her name! So happy for her la!!!! And yepps, TESTS TOMORROW AND FRIDAY. See la. The price of supporting a friend =xx BUT IT WAS ALL WORTHWHILE :D I took a picture of the bus! It was so near me! =xxx And my reaction must have been evident enough.

Yoga's been great. Zhi Wei Deng Yuan Wei Wei and me slept in the hall till 2.30! Oh my. That's heavenly okay! DUH! Sleeping is an art. It's a life's luxury to me :D Went back to CT with ZW to collect her O level cert while I settled some stuff for Mrs Chua. Man, even God knows I went back in the hope to see him. And everything was arranged in a way such that when I stepped into the school from the back gate, he left the school from the main gate. I got to believe it, it's FATE. Everyone's telling me to move on, even what has happened today is an evident implication hinting to me that it's the time to move an inch ahead. I'm lagging behind, seriously lagging. My favourite climate hasn't been felt lately. Let it rain, please.

A sinful day of 6+ hours spent with Angie and YC! EAT AND EAT AND EAT! Tsk tsk tsk. Look at how my weighing machine is going to die on me! =xx But all 3 of us managed to get what we want eventually :D It was definitely loads of exercises done today, with all the walking in school and out of it! SHOPPING is a good exercise :D Angie and I came across this super terrible thing. Oh my. It's a disgrace. TIME TO EAT LESS =xx

It was a good catch! I have my Peter and Melissa has her Harry now. See, another day gone and we are attached. HOWEVER, my Peter is the best and no one beats him, even HARRY. Mrs HOHOHO must be fuming mad now. But, who cares? My Peter rocks my socks! :D I love him! I guess it's the end of both of you, and for all of us, our friendship. Well, till this point of time, it's pointless to hide any name. So yup, perhaps, I mean perhaps, Angie and Ying Hao won't be friends anymore. It's ok. Both are still my friends. The past doesn't matter to me anymore, I'm looking ahead, to the better days, if there's any(: I haven't been back for quite some time, since Speech day. And that means I haven't seen him for that long. Who hears the yells inside me.

So Zhi Wei, HuiMin and I went for the Chinese Riddle Competition without any preparation. And guess what? We got into the finals, though, didn't manage to emerge as the first three ultimately. Perhaps it was not too bad after all. We won ourselves a $10 Popular voucher each! LOL. I wished it had been cash though =xxx How on earth could she conceal her feelings that well? She was apparently unhappy, wasn't she? One sentence from her betrayed herself and it only made me feel that all along the issue was on her mind. At least I would feel better if I had known she's unhappy about it. So again, I saw the ugliness of life and maybe, the cruelty of it. Tests and assignments are piling up, but my endurance level doesn't correspond. Still, I'm not adapted to my new life. Or do I even have a life now? I'm mad over what Darren said about me not having a life in JC. So am I frustrated because it's true or it's not? Bowen has left us. There goes our 副帮主！Sad case. A...