past.

  I'm truly extremely happy today.   I have organised a few soccer tournaments for my alma mater's alumni but never did plan one for the people in my course. I have been finding the opportunity to do so yet was hesitant about it because I was afraid most of my coursemates would not be sporty enough. Apparently, I was wrong. With the help and support of my very dear friends and my favourite lecturer LL, the event has been made possible today. The sports hall was full of cheers, laughter and joy just now and every little action touched my heart. Be it the enthusiasm of LL, the help of my friends who did not mind coming all the way down to help, or simply participants of the game, I think these are all the elements that made this event so meaningful. It is yet another wish of mine fulfilled and I am genuinely grateful for my friends. I was so touched today I did not know how to express my gratitude. While I edited the photographs just now, I kept laughing to myself. My ...

昨天和彦丽回母校探望老师。每当踏进学校之前，总会觉得一股迎面而来的压迫感。也许高中的日子真的不好受。但又不能否认，那段日子也有些是美好的。走过一个个熟悉的角落，我很仔细地看了看。突然觉得，以前从来没把这些地方看得那么清楚。因为以前注意的是人，不是地方。就像那条长长的走廊，曾经每天早上沿着那条走廊走到一个可以看到他的位置。又像办公室外的空间，曾经几次故意在那里制造巧合。这些都是我不会忘记的。 原来高中的两年真的过得很快。真的很怀念那段日子。

Mic says I must not suppress so I decided to just say... I'm feeling a little blue today. But I shall press on. This song is dedicated to myself. http://youtu.be/_92iHkrSnGQ

It was a happy day.   I had lunch with Mic YiRong Wen Jie Lanhua. I had a feeling I was going to bump into chew chew and she really popped up behind me. I met good friend Cyclops and he lent me the computer to print my stuff. How nice :) I had a feeling I was going to see Shaun and I did (Jean Grey's powers working again, no?) I finished making my teacher's day card for LL. I ate with Yanli and Janvin. Janvin bought me 3 nuggets after seeing me drool over them. How nice :) I did whatever I could during 明史 lesson and even though the response wasn't too good, I think I have tried being the best person I could be. And I shall continue to be. Prof. Lee was very funny today. LL waited for me to come before he began lesson!!! How nice :') LL was so cute during class! I bumped into YC and YY on my way home. YY and I went to have supper. YY walked me home after supper. How nice :)   I am happy. And that's that :-D

昨晚做了一个很美好的梦，都不想起来了。起来的时候，心里仍有那份感动。我忘了梦境是否有颜色。他们说，有颜色的梦是会成真的。 我不知道这个梦会不会成真。只知道梦了三、四年了，它从没接近成真的范围。 不过没关系。偶尔这样梦一下，我也很开心，很感动。:')

今天真的很开心。我们唱K的时候都很high，笑了好多好多。 之后到咖啡店用餐。我喜欢吃‘煮炒’。也许就像彦丽说的，很‘family’。 吃完饭后，我们坐在咖啡店聊天。聊了好多校园的人、事、物，笑得很开怀。 这些都是大学生涯的点点滴滴。我很庆幸有这些回忆，真的很珍惜。 也许真实的人生里，美好的回忆总免不了会参杂一些坏的。刻意让自己忘记不美好的事情不见得就能释怀。我想我必须忘记‘忘记’这件事。而要做到这一点，我应该把焦点放在其他事情上。这也是我近来一直在做的事，也觉得自己做得还不错，不过可以更好。 有些伤害造成了，找出谁对谁错也不能改变什么。若无其事，继续笑脸迎人又太做作。 也许我（虽然我希望是‘我们’）该正视这个问题。但愿真切的关心和祝福是最好的开始。 希望这样的正面能量可以一直蔓延下去。 放不開　也看不見未來 難道這種不完美　才是愛情真實的樣子

I can feel the positivity in almost everything today. Although I didn't feel too well in the morning, I'm actually quite glad I woke up at 8.45 a.m. without an alarm. Waking up before 9 a.m. without an alarm makes me feel healthy. It was great company during lunch. I started reading up a little on 明史 and I quite enjoy what I'm learning. Love the positive energy in me today.

因为说过要保持乐观，所以就算有不开心的事，也不会把它记录下来。至少不是今天 :) 今天林立老师问了我两次：“你的脚怎么了？” 他真的很好对不对？:) 上老师的课有时真的会闷，但是老师总是让我觉得自己很像小学生，有什么都可以问，没什么好怕的。偶尔朗诵一下诗词，不会念的字也没关系；不会回答问题无所谓，让别的同学帮忙。刚才瞄到老师的讲义，发现挺空的，但是老师却说得头头是道。可见老师备课真的很认真。我想我之所以这么崇拜老师，是因为他让我觉得我有个爸爸。一个想要把所有知识都传给自己孩子的爸爸。 我已经计划很久要送什么教师节礼物给老师，我终于想到了！一定要记得送！ 本来是真的很累的一天，但是老师的亲切和乐观让我觉得再疲惫都要记得笑一笑 :)

"Mend the bond torn by pride." I couldn't stand not catching a movie on a school holiday like this so I went to catch Brave with my sis. Initially I was complaining to her about the price of the tickets, till I finished the movie, I told myself, totally worth the money! It was a fabulous movie really, of thrill, laughter and tears. I think I haven't teared in the theatre in a long time, have I? I'm really glad I caught it. Now I shall be BRAVE and face my readings...

I feel good today. I read some of LL's readings which I surprisingly found quite interesting. I went to visit Max at Holland V with ZR. I went to JP with Zhi and ZR to get two belts. I painfully parted with my money and bought an mp3 which I am satisfied with. I had mcnuggets which I have not eaten in a long time. I went to ArtBox and got three very cute notebooks. I love ArtBox notebooks! The day has been very simple but good enough. I dare not ask for more for it has been peaceful and nice. I wish tomorrow is not a holiday because I like to be in school with my friends. But it's ok, I will take it as another day of break.

GL 你一定要加油！！！！！

My mp3 decided to die on me after 6 years :(

我告诉自己一定要以德报怨 :) 一个人对你多不好都可以算，你继续对他好就好。 只要自己的心舒服就好。

Many friends have asked me, "So how's first week of school?" And then my reply has always been, "Sian." I don't really feel anything for the heavy workload or the difficult contents of the various modules. Rather, I feel a little sad seeing my friends so demoralised and restless about school. It upsets me to see that most of my friends are dragging their feet to school and going home feeling unsettled and sometimes angsty. I guess we have all taken too long a break thus become too edgy when readings and assignments start crumbling down on us. I recall how I always laughed and joked about everything in front of my uni friends no matter how stressful life can get, simply because I hoped to boost their morale. I decided I must start the ball rolling again so that we can all be positive about school and enjoy school! The first thing to do is to be optimistic myself! I MUST!!! JIAYOU GL! JIAYOU FOLKS!!!!!

Why isn't school as good as I thought it would be? :(

不以物喜，不以己悲。

The voice of reason in me speaks again. Have I been too extreme? Too irrational? Maybe there are really times I need to place my priorities right. And of which, I shouldn't always put my feelings at the top? I don't know. I feel like dropping all my modules and just go to school, but then for what? How complicated. P/S: Thank you for going to the doctor with me Yanli! I may like to put up a strong font but I'm always scared to go to the doctor alone!! :(

Something that I forgot to mention yesterday. From Year 2, I always thought I couldn't make it to the Honors Year. But I did! And that is all thanks to the encouragement of my fellow CH majors who have pushed me along the way and made this possible for me. Thanks!

It is the first day of school. That surge of ambivalence is so strong. I liked how I met so many familiar faces everywhere I went. And it is always a nice feeling to just attend the same class with my dear friends. And then there are always people you don't want to see but have to bump into them. That aside, I have been sick for the longest time (again, sigh) and thus didn't feel too well the whole day. Nevertheless, I do miss RVR a bit and it's so nostalgic to be back there again, though, this time in Yanli's room. Really hope to play more badminton before I go for my surgery. I'm going to attend LL's class tomorrow and I'm so looking forward to it. Sorry if my points are incoherent.

她一个人 她有很多个梦 她迷上旅行 用风景盖住痛 她离开了朋友 把自己放逐 用没有人认识的名字孤独 游荡旅途中 她两手空空 但心事太沉重 城市里华灯初上敌不过夜色浓浓 喝尽杯中酒 她泪眼朦胧 但理智仍清醒 抬头看满天星却挂念 某一道彩虹 她一个人 在飘荡中沉默 她终于看懂 已远离的软弱 她经过很多路 为自己追逐 在没人记得的角落里停驻 游荡旅途中 她两手空空 但心事太沉重 城市里华灯初上敌不过夜色浓浓 喝尽杯中酒 她泪眼朦胧 但理智仍清醒 抬头看满天星却挂念 某一道彩虹 生命太匆匆 她两手空空 但心事太沉重 怕只怕昨日种种 惊扰了夜色浓浓 她终会擦干 那泪眼朦胧 在日出里感动 流浪过多少夜只为了 那一道彩虹 她在终点 写一张明信片 寄出这刻等待被拆封的瞬间 这是静茹专辑里我很喜欢的另一首歌。 今天是懒洋洋的星期六。躺在床上读完了两部张小娴的小说。读着读着，睡着了。迷迷糊糊中，好像梦见了他。他总是在我最需要一个拥抱的时候出现在我的梦境里。醒来时，心里有一份强烈的感动，却完全记不起梦了什么。但却随即想起很多事。想起的是十岁无知懵懂的我们。想起的是十八岁互相倾诉的我们。想起的是二十一岁尴尬的我们。是真的，一个人静下来的时候，思念就会来找你。我不知道一个人可不可以存有两份思念，只知道我曾考虑用新的替代旧的，这个想法太天真。有些东西即使旧了、消失了，也不能重寻。 是我太自私了。我不该不负责任地燃起一线希望又把它扑灭。虽然说过不要再说，但我真的很对不起。 如果静下来的时候，思念会来折腾人，那我决定了不会再让自己太闲着。也许忙忙碌碌的，我会比较开心，比较充实。 突然好想吃芝仕蛋糕。好久没有好好慰劳自己，真正开怀地享受生活了 :)

何谓肝肠寸断？ 肝肠寸断就是，咳嗽咳得肝和肠一寸一寸地断掉。 所以我现在就是肝肠寸断。

新的戒指 失了光泽 几年过了呢 沉默着 天快暗了 我们该把 往事收拾了 再多說 也回不去了 后来的 都没关系了 纵然我 想起你的 某年某天 历历还深刻 分开后有 一段日子 躲得远远的 终于我 都走完了 慢慢也懂 当时不懂的 此刻你 生疏的温柔 触及我 结痂的伤口 以前多 不能原谅 如今都能 笑着说出口 我曾为你快乐 也曾为你挫折 曾把你 紧紧抱着 紧紧依赖着 紧紧地爱着 离开很不舍得 以为会崩溃的 却在最痛的时刻 最感觉清澈 什么都会过去的 思念偶尔 参杂泪水 很快就干了 时间会 帮我负荷 让我的痛 淡掉了颜色 相遇在 熟悉的路口 翻搅着 内心的沉淀 遗失的 那个永远 永远还是 留在我心间 我们都走了 我们都不一样了 缘份没有 再一次选择 过去的在过去 活着 *专辑里另外一首我很喜欢的歌~ YAN HONG THIS IS FOR YOU! :)

争执在慢慢累积 所以疲倦也默默累积 侵蚀了爱情 坍塌了亲密   心情在慢慢转移 所以焦点也默默转移 放大了问题 草草分离 璀璨回忆 化为灰烬   在冷静之后剩冷清 太倔强的人 没资格惋惜 若无其事 忍痛走下去 在深夜喃喃自语没有人像你 一句话就能带来天堂或地狱 你太懂得我 感动我从不费力 要伤我就更容易 彻底   最深刻那种感情 就是最动荡那种感情 虽然不安宁 却蕴藏惊喜 两全其美 不会降临 在冷静之后剩冷清 太倔强的人 没资格惋惜 若无其事 忍痛走下去   在深夜喃喃自语没有人像你 一句话就能带来天堂或地狱 你太懂得我 感动我从不费力 要伤我就更容易   像遗憾喃喃自语没有人像你 让困境或是命运不值得忧虑 不计划未来 享受当下的美丽 是任性还是勇气 越哭泣 越生气 多 嫉妒你爱恨都随意 对日记喃喃自语没有人像你 能那么自由 想放开就能舍弃 我恨我假忘记 却不停回忆   像遗憾喃喃自语没有人像你 让困境或是命运不值得忧虑 不计划未来 享受当下的美丽 为何我无法随性 像你     这是我在静茹新专辑里最最最最最最最最喜欢的歌。真的非常非常喜欢。不管是词、曲、还是唱歌的技巧，都很棒。觉得整首歌如果仔细听的话，是很富有哲理的，很有feel~ 当然其他歌也很好。期待这个专辑很久了，一直很想听到新的歌，歌曲也可以是精神的寄托。果然，静茹不负众望。歌曲都很好听！很期待她来新加坡开演唱会！！！   虽然病得不轻，但是听着好歌入眠，感觉真好。 Thank you Sunshine boy and Auntie Rainbow for the company this morning :)

病得糊里糊涂。

Perhaps you have been unhappy for too long that even when you are truly happy, no one believes you, no matter what you say. So, to be happy or not to be?

I was about to say I haven't fallen ill in a long, long time, then there, I fall sick. I hate it. Grrrr.

It was a happy day. I had a good game of badminton with Sunshine boy, Auntie Rainbow and Rain. There was so much laughter during the game. We had Fish&Co Express thereafter and spent a couple of hours there chatting and laughing at Rain's stupid jokes. There was no other customer besides us so we were a little crazy and out of control. This group of friends is one that I have been meeting twice per year over the past four years. Even though we only meet twice a year, we always laugh like mad people and talk about everything under the sun each time we meet. I wonder if it will remain like this in time to come. I mean, as each year passes, people enter and leave your life. There are some you continue to keep in touch with, there are those you can live your life without. There are friends that I meet up with once in a year, like Desireen; there are those whom I used to meet twice or thrice a year but now meet almost every week, like Yan Hong; there are those I never thou...

Dear Hulk, Thor, Black Widow, Iron Man, Hawkeye and Captain America I would really love to keep you all because I have put in so much effort to make you all. All of you were meant to be given to a person as a birthday present and I recall how eager I was to give you away because I was anticipating the receiver's reaction upon seeing you all. Because it was a promise. But it has become pointless to give now and so I have to throw you away because you remind me of the supposed receiver whom I do not want to be reminded of. I'm sorry. Bye bye! dang 

人 群中 哭著 你只想变成透明的颜色 你再也不会梦 或痛 或心动了 你已经决定了 你已经决定了 你 静静 忍著 紧紧把昨天在拳心握著 而回忆越是甜 就是 越伤人了 越是在 手心留下 密密麻麻 深深浅浅 的刀割 你不是真正的快乐 你的笑只是你穿的保护色 你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了 把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳 这 世界 笑了 於是你合群的一起笑了 当生存是规则 不是 你的选择 於是你 含著眼泪 飘飘荡荡 跌跌撞撞 的走著 你不是真正的快乐 你的笑只是你穿的保护色 你决定不恨了 也决定不爱了 把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳 你不是真正的快乐 你的伤从不肯完全的愈合 我站在你左侧 却像隔著银河 难道就真的抱著遗憾一直到老了 然后才后悔著 你值得真正的快乐 你应该脱下你穿的保护色 为什麼失去了 还要被惩罚呢 能不能就让 悲伤全部 结束在此刻 重新开始活著 當年因爲這首歌而買了五月天的專輯。但是買了卻又不敢拿出來聼。就算是在收音機聽到，都會立刻轉台。 現在聼，感覺很回味。 P.S: 我現在沒有不快樂。

I was supposed to be in a rather bad mood because my favourite Eiffel tower necklace broke this morning, and then I dropped and broke my favourite Starbucks tumbler (birthday present from Bren) in the afternoon. And then of course, going to LL's house for bbq really made the day a lot better. I seriously can't help but harp again on the fact that LL is reallyyyyyyyy a great teacher who really loves his students. And it made me realise how right a decision of choosing CH3228 was. I think it has made uni life so worthwhile. Good teacher, great friends, learning and bonding, what else can I ask for? I am so glad, I am going to take LL's module again in the coming semester :)

璀璨回憶 化爲灰燼 在冷靜之後剩冷清 太倔強的人 沒資格惋惜 若無其事 忍痛走下去 在深夜裏喃喃自語 沒有人像你 一句話就能帶來天堂或地獄 你太懂得我 感動我從不費力 要傷我就更容易 徹底 Can't wait to listen to Fish's new album!

很久沒試過雨天時在外頭了。 也已經不喜歡雨天了。因爲雨天不再那麽美了。

It's a lazy Friday. I woke up, slacked and went out to have Macs for lunch. Then there was the sudden urge to watch a movie so I went to the nearest cinema and bought a movie ticket after randomly picking a suitable timeslot. Seeking A Friend For the End of the World. I read the sypnosis and thought I was all ready for a very heartwrenching film (I even prepared a few packets of tissue lest I break down). But you know, I thought. Many will probably think that this is a boring film. As a matter of fact, it is extremely slow-paced and has almost no climax at all. The plot can be rather stupid and the dialogues, cliche. But if there is always something to credit in every film, I would say that it is pretty thought-provoking, philosophical. The ending was quite abrupt but I actually liked it, there wasn't really a better way to end it. If the world is ending in two weeks, how would you spend the rest of your life? I'm ready for Brave, The Four or The Bourne Legacy. Anyone keen?

Finally caught Total Recall after anticipating it for some time. It was as thrilling as I have thought, however, I thought the plot could have been a lot better. Too unrealistic? I'm not sure if this is a right word to use because X-Men is not exactly realistic as well but I love it so much. Nevertheless, I think Colin Farrell is really an outstanding actor. I can't help but praise his discretion of the role over and over again in my head. "The mind is often fooled into returning to the past, but the heart wants the present." I think I remember hearing something along the lines of such during the film just now. Maybe the past did shape us, and maybe we always want to return to the past thinking that it is better. But perhaps, there is a reason why the past became a past. This is something I never realised. And so it has been proven again, that I like to embrace the past so much that my hands are always too full for the present, let alone the future. I must learn, I m...

Everything felt like a nightmare and I think I've woken up.