past.

third entry? lol. have not studied chem test ! I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT. bad girl. hai. still listening to zhang xue you's songs. nice nice. hee. i've been online for like the whole day? waiting and waiting. i chose not to make the first approach . i don't know why. maybe it's my stubborn-ness acting up again. ha. but i still did. his nick saddens me. but as if it's any of my business. i don't know when i will wake up. probably i just wish to keep dreaming and fantasizing. probably i couldn't accept some cruel facts. and i want to highlight this. MUST EVERYTHING BE VOICED OUT? certain things are already so OBVIOUS on the surface? siti and i. we are FRIENDS . that's the TERM i guess. who can tell that we are friends? it's already evident that we don't know each other anymore. it's just a matter of whether our friendship has OFFICIALLY ended . both of them. she told me they did not patch up. if that's so, what gives him the right to hold he...

second entry of the day. oh well... new blogskin. and this is almost like the FIRST skin i have that is not BLACK in colour? haha. a change le i guess. and urm. i'm now emo-ing at the many zhang xue you 's songs. GOSH. they're super duper nice can?! his voice. his songs. waa. make me so want to cry na. NICE. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! hee. suddenly feel like going to campfires . i want to scream. i feel so suffocated. oh ya. i fliped through the papers again. and i found that section. but the numbers didn't come out. lol. i can do nothing but to accept it.

finally, the carnival is OVER. yesterday was good + bad . GOOD because i had quite a nice time at the stall with sin sin , yiming and yuan pin . they amused me so much. lol. BAD because business is freaking LOUSY and we made a big big LOSS . worse, the strawberries coated with choc turned BAD . thank god i didn't give them to mr lau . or i could have caused a LIFE =/ anyway, sorry to all my friends, that i was so darn attitude. hmmm. went to kfc with stheng , tsu hui , bteng , shawn , yinghao and zhuang wei after the carnival. supposedly to celebrate stheng's birthday. but she had to celebrate it at home. so we went there to talk. and laughed. haha. that tsu hui sot de na. laughed over the slightest thing. lol. met shi en and shengyuan at the bus stop. so took the same bus home with them. had tuition after my shower! did my tys till i dozed off on the table. cher saw me so tired so LET ME OFF earlier. hee. i slept at 11 p.m till 10 a.m this morning. nice. i bought...

exhausted. sticky. restless. pek cek. sian. those are words to describe the current me? carnival rehearsal today, AGAIN . jalan here and there. i'm so bloody tired. thanks to kaixiang . helped us with the tying of banner. and SHAUN KWAN uh. toopid de. gave so many TOOPID comments . argh. can't stand him. complain and complain and complain! grr. got a nice table cloth mann. the cloth shop auntie recognised me. hee. she and her husband are really GREAT people. always talk to me so nicely and explain this and that to me. they are never impatient to me. NICE people. keke (: BUSY DAY. and i'm so worn out. finally back at home to rest. oh mann. it's 9 plus and i have not taken my shower. hee. wait. i do things for the class. not for myself. so i don't see why i have to kan bie ren's lian se when i do things. i'm not hating. but i ain't LIKING it EITHER. i have my dignity. tml, the stall'd BETTER turn out to be SUCCESSFUL . or, i'd ... i'd thi...

ran 2.4 today! iya. toopid de leh. last year out of 8 rounds, i walked 3 rounds. but i was about 15min plus plus. today i didn't walk at all. i ran 8 rounds eh. but was much slower. hai. can't figure out why. toopid de leh. i'm such a slow poke. alrighty. lessons were ok today eh. a bit mundane? haha. lessons suspended from 1.30 onwards to meddle with the stall. mess. mess. mess. i'm so luan. argh. i seriously pray hard that everything will be done by tml. god bless mann. oh guess what? yuan lai zirui , zhuang wei and i are always xiang wang-ing chinese lessons. cause' she may be crude. but her preachings are really reasonable. yea really. anyway, i'm still in my fantasy. my colourful dreams. things have gone back to normal. though it was short, it was so wonderful. (:

fang xiang pan zhou wei hui zhuan zhe wo de hou hui wo jia su chao yue que shuai bu diao jin jin gen sui de shang bei xi shu can kui wo shang ni ji hui ting zhi lang bei jiu rang cuo chun cui hmmmmm. no morning run today. how GREAT . but gotta watch the ppt of the SQC thing. bleahs. it won't maintain la =xx missed a lil of c.lit because of the ppt. today's topic was XI YOU JI . one of my faves. lOVE it mann. ((= but was talking about the stalls during lessons. hee. physics test. aha. nothing much to my surprise. i'm as LOST as ever? wahahaha. i almost nodded off to sleep while doing the paper. lol =xx 3r. ok ok la. the article was nice nice . darn interesting. i really like it. it's humorous de neh. cme. COOL. issued so many 'cheques' . and i received 19 cheques. hee. all writing to me to thank me for the sweets . haha. cute-ness na! humanities! totally overwhelmed with disappointment ? morning announcement went like this: "teachers not in school t...

oh well. my heading has explained it all. initally 6 tests in a week . postponed 3. left with 3. maths. c.lit. phy. and guess what? i'm taking phy test tml yet have not studied yet. blogging some more?! lol =/ i'm so tired . so bloody worn out. studies. cca. carnival. tests. family. friends. things that kept me so occupied. probably they are those that made me stay positive? nah. i'm too tired because of them. leaving no space for me to gasp. today's maths test was ok? a lil screwed up eh? a blardy careless mistake. it's like. WTH? c.lit. it was so SHIT . oh yes. you bet. i didn't exactly know how to express myself in front of that monstrous paper but to give a spastic look while scribbling through. and yea. almost like dozing off also. tml's gonna be a busy day mann. darn busy. hmmmm.

oh well. that's our stall name. thought by mr kwan . did banner today with mel and bteng . till 9! yes p.m i mean. aha. the guides one was really nice. not the class one =x tml still needa go sther house bake cheese cake. yet still got lotsa stuff to do. so vexed! so busy! haiii. but we joked so much today that i really laughed alot. wahahaha. things aren't the same anymore. nah.

the last time we talked was one week from now i guess. 15th July. 16th... 17th... 18th... 19th... 20th... 21st... 22nd... yup. seven days. which makes up just a perfect week. well. this time. i chose it this way. so just get lost and leave me alone. let me hate you for who you are. must i thank you for what you have done? what's becoming of me? a girl who hasn't cried for the past 2 years. suddenly cried 10 times this year. she was never absent from school for the past 2 years. suddenly she pon-ed school this year. even though for only one short day. this happened after she has known him. bloody hell. what is this? madness. thanks i should say. for inflicting so much pain on me. i'm tired. my sec3 life was supposed to be interesting, lucid, adventurous. but you have spoiled everything. great. how great. stop all this crap. first lesson today was maths. iya. sianity =x second was physics. tan bee bee was absent. so i was singing with zirui as usual. hee. mother tongue. no...

i seriously don't know what i have done. but i don't care le. i don't see why i'm wrong. i have a very bad headache. really bad. felt so sleepy during c.lit today. thanks nana . for that cheque. *grins* wahahaha. stayed back in school to finish my chinese compo. lousy work i must say. only 2 and a half pages long. dumbass. said bye to me. but i acted blur. didn't mean to be obnoxious but, i didn't know how to react. well. i'm so sick. peace out.

i really tried very hard to be oblivious. but how am i supposed to? everything's left for me to settle. can i just leave them alone and not bother about them? NAH i can't. because people will think i am irresponsible and blah blah blah. but am i supposed to do every thing by myself? i just need some efficient helpers. this concerns the class. can't they be more enthu and helpful? i'm so worn out. can they ever take pity on me?

yup. the guolian in sec1 and 2 didn't like to cry. in sec3. she has cried 10 times. yup. including today. in school. during tpi. but when she cries, no one sees her tears. i really wanna thank sin sin . she patted my back. and that was enough. p.e was hiong. nice (: oh yea. it's pin pin 's birthday too. haha. just a simple card for him. bleahs. and shi de. miss lim not in school. drew banner in class. aha. i'm tired. 2c1o4. ha. i realised. we were never the most bonded class. we were the most un-united class. HA. i have woken up.

oh well. my muscles are like tearing again. aha. had a tiring day today. got dance meeting after that. practice on 'caught up' . oh great. yea. darren is GREAT . unlike some people. aha. my fellow guides know who i am referring to. dooodoooodoooooo. nice. but my leg's aching now. hahaha. nana and hui min were the best dancers! haha! hmmm. hopefully it would turn out be successful. fun indeed. because we have got the right coordinator ma. lol. i have woken up from all these nightmares. stop fooling me. i'm not as dumb as you think i am. like DUH ? caught up.

hmmmmmmmmm. went to xian 's bbq yesterday. had a funneh experience on the train. saw 4 babies. one of them was really cuteeeeeeeee . then realised was on the same train as xian and ley . haha. so we went to jp to meet shirl , alicia , xiuying and feli . took bus to xian 's house. so funneh eh them. kept laughing all the way. then when we reached there. must help to set up. xiuying can be engineer in future le. haha. alot of people came at 7 to 8 plus plus. but i had to leave early for tuition. kinda spoilsport. but bo bian eh. haha. took some pics with the 6-ers . and nette too. reached home with some symptons of feli 's illness. fever some more. pray hard that i'm alright. can't afford to be sick again. or rather be absent from school. heh. well well. shall proceed with my homework le. hmmmm. maybe you would never get to know. because i can't afford to be hurt by you.

been returning home so late these days. monday to thursday reached home at 7.30 plus plus. today reached home at 8.10. lol. got chinese o's listening today. screwed! multiple choice questions ma. 4 choices. 2 toopid ones. 2 logical ones. biang neh. but heck na. ended le anyway. aha. talked le. (: if it had persisted, today would be the 8th day le. phew. even though it lasted less than a minute, i'm contented. (: and i don't know when would talk again. but it doesn't matter that much. heh. went back nhp with kin mun just now. yea she so nice right. finally willing to go back with me. when i promised her a bubble tea. hahaha. met mrs kee ! goodness. to think she's teaching p2 now. and zhang lao shi . she hugged me when i told her i'd be having my o's. haha. and she bought tics from me! hee. mrs kee bought too. wahaha. yayyy. went to jp after listening compre with ley , sther and wee . bought kexian 's prezzie. a bit too simple. heh. then met shirl . we c...

what am i to do? i tried so much. and got so down. 2 tests tml. no handphones allowed. otherwise a straight zero. nice one na mr lau . toopid =x haven't finished jian bao. 4 more. haiii. 6th day. i'm so gonna die! haii. studied chem with mel in school today. but nothing got into my brain. obviously wasn't focusing. anyway, finally sold my first ticket. to junxian . lol. oh ya. hawick lau really rocks. i love him!

my toopid com. spoiled. won't be able to use it for don't know how long. using my sis' laptop. heh. jian bao!! cher gave me till thursday to complete it. well but i know i won't be able to complete it. got two tests to study de eh. lol. i know i am slacking la. but i don't want to add stress to myself eh. as usual. laughed like siao during chinese lesson. for the whole 1 hour some more. all thanks to mel . she was making me laugh with her infectious laughter again. but i'm glad she didn't have a relapse. oh yes. her sp illness . horrible. wahaha. chem was total boredom. sianity civilisation. sin sin and i almost dozed off. woohoo. lol. physics? practical. but well. sian also la. lol. meeting after school. but had lunch with jiahui , mel , sheena , sam and company. aha. i made mel cry? lol. for the second time this year. but she thanked me for that i supposed. wahaha. went to buy cloth with her after that. cold day today by the way. rained for the whole ...

life is like. so miserable? i don't know. i'm such a failure. nafa tml. i can run. only with a motivation? don't know. i don't know what's with myself. i really feel very very miserable. no mood to do my jian bao. arg arg arggggggggggggggggggggggggg. laughed like mad today. with mel during chinese lesson. with limin and sin sin during maths. but i ain't happy!! i feel so like crying. can you talk to me?

bloody pissed. irresponsible idiots. take us as fools? fuck off la. darn. STRESSED UH!!! jiahui is right. i'm adding stress to myself. argh. getting angry over toopid people . silly me. let's get scolded tomorrow. for not doing jian bao. bloody hell. yesterday's campfire was great. mel , benedict , shengyuan and me fooled zhuang wei . and we succeeded. wahahaha. so fun. and the ndp people came to join us. double fun. finally enjoyed myself at a campfire. the last one was dunearn i think. so much fun. (:

am i really your venting machine? well. then i think you can choose to talk to me only when you are happy. ain't i supposed to be happier this year? but i don't seem to. i've never cried so much in a year i suppose. this year is the only one time. i guess. whenever i am down. i think of jason's joke about his house. i think of mel's infectious laughter. i think of jiahui teasing mrs chan. they make me laugh. and i think of you, smiling.

today is doom's day ? lol. yea. don't play play. o level chinese oral wor. LOL. hmmmm. mrs tan bee bee was absent today. so we spent like 1 and a half hour on the stall. i'm so bloody fucked up now. all thanks to them. what the hell. miss lim dismissed us early for recess again! yippeee!! today was earlier than yesterday. hee. 7 minutes earlier. miss lim wan sui! but i had no mood for my meal. didn't even finish my rice lor. too nervous for my oral la. almost cried after recess? darn nervous la. mrs tan taught logarritum. whatever you spell that. i can't get a shit into my brain anyway. how to focus?! talking to sin sin , limin and junrong la. lol =xx and must thank sin sin for her xing yun wu gui . help me de-stress uh! hee. then uh we were dismissed at 1.10 p.m. no mood to eat la. so down there talked talked. played with my phone while i still could. hee. oh ya oh ya. and also had the toopid 'hugging session' eh? hugged lai hugged qu. some more ...

oh wells. lessons were okay today except for geog mann. i really really could just shut my eyes and go into my lalaland . aha. lessons weren't seriously boring but i just couldn't pay attention. yet i always said that 'boredom is simply a lack of attention' ? woo. how funneh . totally hilarious ? pe was GREAT . oh yes for heaven's sake. it was like.. so shiokk ? hmmmm. let me see. 6 rounds around the field. oh cool. i didn't stop! impressive yea? hahaha. another 30 pumpings and 30 sit ups. didn't finish all the sit ups la. i'm lousy at that. hee. lunges? aha. 20 only ma. piece of cake mann! though i'm suffering from excruciating painful muscle ache in my thighs now. haha. captain's ball after that! yipee. was great na. just that i laughed non stop. crazy de. meeting after school. don't want to elaborate. i'm really worn out. if i could be your 'venting' machine, i guess i wouldn't mind. at least i could lessen your anger...

to think my heart isn't made of steel or iron ?! i have cried so many times this year. year's record i think. 8 times. ha. this is totally hilarious ? darn. guolian uh guolian. stop wasting your precious tears. are those people really worth your tears? rhetorical questions i guess? ha. how funneh. answering myself back. "oh yes. only important people are those worth my tears i guess. "

went to limin 's house to do homework and to discuss the stall!! our games were so lame and funneh . but now, most importantly that toopid mr murali must accept my proposal. dooodooodoooooo... then took bus with her to jp . so i be hao ren went to visit sther . then she fried seaweed chicken for me la. as usual de. haha =xx then went to clementi to meet shirl . no more wu gui ! =xx okies this is confidential . keke. reached home at 7? yea lor. haha. even though every good thing must come to an end. i'm contented. i don't ask for eternity . not at all.

hiii i'm backkk! yesterday was operator 's birthday! and yoke hwee ! toopid la! i told shirl to pass the prezzie to operator but operator wanted me to pass personally! =xx mafan ! but well. i did. (: hmmm. not opening stall le! well i expected that. after all it's 3d1 . ain't 2c1 . i wash my hands off this. rather help 3c2 . at least got shirl they all. well. and went to huiling 's bbq yesterday! girls got limin , jiahui , sther , min and me! guys got yuan pin , yiming , mic , kwan , rick , jrong , chris , yoke hwee and clement . operator went too! keke. we had so much fun! ((= lame-d the whole day. jiahui and rick really bth-ed. wahahaha. bo bian. yesterday was super duper high . in actual fact, the whole month was super duper high la. keke. had a long chat with operator . (: then took taxi home with jiahui , yuan pin and kwan . yuan pin and kwan so good ! they actually in the taxi le but because i walked too slow so they kana chased out by the taxi drive...