past.

太感人了!

In my dream I kept hollering at him. So much so I was hyperventilating. Terrible feeling. Not for the first time. Such dreams always devour me from the inside. I know I'll probably be stuck in this forever.

这里有喜、有怒、有哀、有乐。 开始有点舍不得。 但相信大家总会带着美好的回忆离开。 我们总该记得快乐的事。 我最爱的你，如果你不去，对我来说就会不完整。 我不想逼你。 但希望你终究会为这美好的四年划下美丽的句点而改变主意。

既然都知道 既然睡不着 不如就把黑夜熬成破晓 我为自己骄傲 我终于可以 不靠感情这样过来了 想你是很好 但我的心在退烧 逃　假装是在寻找 我　明明就不需要 人的心若是关不牢 爱到不知如何是好 你能给多少 突然我就是不想要 逃　从天涯到海角 烧　泪早就不知不觉烧干了 你爱的谁都看得到 可是我就很不想要 所以我这样放开了 怎么我会错乱了心跳 是什么让我不堪其扰 既然都知道 爱过了就好 逃　从天涯到海角 烧　泪早就不知不觉烧干了 你爱的谁都看得到 一厢情愿让我依靠 却不曾问我要不要

http://youtu.be/WEbzZP-_Ssc I'm really happy :) I remember being very upset when I heard that Hugh Jackman was going to quit acting Wolverine. I don't care if people say he went back on his words. I miss Logan so much! And Jean.

  最近有点迷上了夕阳。   他们说：“夕阳无限好，只是近黄昏。” 我不以为然。 若不近黄昏，怎知夕阳无限好？   近来喜欢在黄昏时分，站在高处看夕阳。 课业繁重之余，我们又何曾好好欣赏这美景？    

I miss times like this we would sit down in McDonald's with a cup of drink or sundae and talk about our future,  even though many times they remained fantasies. We would share about our dreams. It's ok we don't realise them because we should all dream when we are young. These days we can hardly meet up this often because everyone's busy. We have our lives to lead. No two friends can stick together forever. But perhaps that is why, the occasional meetings become more precious. Sometimes meaningful. I like to see just these faces when life gets a little tiring, a little boring. Just these faces. There are people you know you always feel most comfortable sharing secrets with. We are all afraid of being judged. That is why we all need a friend whom we can share secrets with but won't look at us with tinted glasses.

我还记得玫瑰色天空, 却模糊了我们的脸孔。 哼过的歌到底是什么内容?

They are at it again. This time, outside. We never broke out of this vicious cycle. We probably won't. And it just makes me look forward to the outside world more.

The interview didn't go too smoothly I guess, but I would like to think that I am going to nail it. That is how much I want to to get away from home. It has always been a dream to study or work in Hong Kong, until in recent years I often hear about the fast-paced life there and thus makes me slightly reluctant. A reason slightly more valid, I would say, is that my mum hardly agrees that I do my further studies abroad. She and her so-called conventions (I'm not saying she's wrong).   But.   I jolly well know that I am probably going to die in this house in a matter of time. Of freedom deprivation. Of emotional suppression due to disagreements.   I no longer scream the way I used to. It hurts my throat and does not work. No matter how loud, no one hears me anyway. Over the years, I learn to keep things in when I am at home. Sometimes I do share things with my little sis, only when she is not pulling a long face. Everyone in the house loves talking to her. She's a good ...

Extremely nervous.

Perhaps I really ought to be contented. I hardly use the word 'unlucky' on myself because I really do think I have been lucky almost all my life. The big boss up there, if there is any, has been very kind to me. I have my ups and downs in life but have always managed to overcome them, with the help of my friends, my mentors and my mind power. This time, lady luck is on my side again. Being shortlisted, to me, is already half the battle conquered even if I do not nail it. This may sound really too much of a coincidence but, the interview topic is on what I have been learning this semester. And the version of the extract is that I have used for my assignment earlier this semester. Fate? Luck? Coincidence? Whatever. Much as I am really afraid because this subject has always been my jinx (at least I thought so), I think I should stop grumbling about what's unimportant and prepare myself really well for the next battle come this weekend. Yeah, I am a lucky fella, again.

Just when I was about to let it all go, it suddenly came. A little too fast, I guess. That should explain my anxiety, my worries, my mixed emotions. I ought to be happier, at least happier than this, but somehow it is tough. I am a little tired of having to hide things. It makes me very busy, coming up with one excuse to cover up the other ten. And it is not like I can share what I want to now. I forsee pressure, a lot more. For a moment two hours ago, my eyes swam in tears. The pressure perhaps, was too immense.   Now I know. Surprises are really not for me. Too much for my weak heart to take.

JIAYOU GL.

总是有些歌, 有些地方让你想起某些人。在那段回忆里, 有开心的, 有不开心的。所以每当往事浮现在脑海里, 情绪难免会复杂。但时间久了, 剩下的似乎只有开心的记忆。那些曾经让人愤怒, 让人难过的事, 大概不会记得太清楚。因为那些气过, 哭过的画面终究不会比笑过, 感动过的画面来得深刻。 突然希望下场大雨。。。

1. You can say it's another Friday wasted. But I wouldn't have spent it on anything more constructive, simply because I need a free Friday so much. It was very simply (perhaps even wastefully) spent, but that was all that I asked for. I know, I have been running away from my work as far as I could. Little did I realise that I have come to the end of week 8 and that means I have almost less than 4 weeks to finish my ISM. It's beginning to get to me, and freak me out. I promise myself, I must work very hard towards the end of this semester.   2. Yh told me the thing about me is that my emotions fluctuate a lot. It was surprising to know, a friend could know me this well. (Of course I know my two best friends have a part to play in discussing my character. But it's okay, I still love both of you very much.). Yet, it is nice to know too. I guess sometimes we are too afraid of discovering ourselves because there is too much about ourselves that we are not ready to acknowledg...

要不是为了阿武，我想我不会这么疯狂的追看。甚至上星期为了赶回家看而差点要搭德士。但其实越看越失望。从头到尾，破绽百出。我可以接受剧情中的巧合，因为确实“无巧不成书”，但有些地方真的有些离谱…… 1. 第一集最后几分钟，李南星和瑞恩登场。首先，他们（很明显的）在观看香港的《法政先锋》。撇开那个不说，他们刚说打赌凶手是谁，下一幕马上就是两个人站在电视面前讨论结局。镜头和镜头之间跳跃得太快，没有连贯。而且电视荧幕上播的是新传媒以前的连续剧《叮当神探》。由瑞恩饰演的芷捷还说自己已经在飞机上看完。新加坡航空公司几时开始播放新加坡连续剧？我觉得导演大可以不要拍摄电视那一幕，直接把镜头集中在两个人看完戏后的讨论。 2. 廖贞婷的矛盾性格。这一点也是芝维提到我才开始注意。由胡佳琪饰演的角色刚登场的时候为了追一个撞了人就走的男人而拼命的追赶，然后认识了帮他追那个男人的志恒。这个角色一出场就让人觉得她富有正义感，很勇敢。接着她看到男朋友Shane抓来一个小女孩，喂她吃摇头丸，没什么反应。然后又连同男朋友一起诬蔑由阿武饰演的耀佳。这个人物的塑造似乎有点前后矛盾？ 3. 第十七集，阿武和白薇秀在医院外面对话的一幕。首先是从阿武的角度拍白薇秀，由她饰演的心怡因为不想面对耀佳的眼神所以低头不敢看他。但当镜头对换集中在阿武的时候，白薇秀的头却是向上的，明显是真面对着她，跟之前低头的一幕有了冲突。 4. 李南星的演技。不能否认，他在这部剧中看起来好像年轻了许多，但是演技方面真的欠佳。从第二集开始，他在草丛里搜证的时候，眼神不跟着手电筒移动已经是个很大的破绽。第十八集中，他第一次牵着瑞恩的手去见芷捷的父母是称他们作“Uncle，Auntie”，第二次在芷捷家家到他们的时候则称呼“伯父、伯母”。演技上会不会太不连贯了？ 5. 百分之九十剧情是抄袭《法政先锋》的。这也是我最不能接受的。除非写这部剧的人是小青姐，否则我很难相信这个编剧没有作出任何抄袭。其实连续剧的剧情来来去去都有一定的典型性，这是无可厚非的。但这部剧所抄袭的内容简直太过火了。看过《法政》的朋友大概懂我讲什么。注意一下由王佃裁饰演的周志恒，再比较一下《法政》里面由林文龙饰演的古泽琛。巧合？好像有点牵强。 还有，真的不能否认，阿武的演技又晋升到了另一个层次。看他从高楼掉下来后的那一幕，注意眼角那一滴泪水……

Really, I am so, so, so tired. I am so sick and tired of compromising with people, with a fake smile on my face, pretending everything's fine by me when I am so reluctant to accomodate. I find myself dozing off at almost every location I am at these days. I can't explain how worn out I am. I just am. These days, I hardly spend solo time with my uni best friend yl because we are either too busy or there will be others around. Yet I cannot really say it lest I make others feel that their presence is unnecessary. zZzzz...   And so I figured maybe it's better that I be alone sometimes.   Somehow, the final semester just feels different. Not so nice.

也许有些事情已经成了习惯，所以常会不经意地去寻找。 找不到的时候，总是觉得怪怪的。

Nothing much on that desk except the application form. For baptism. It was too conspicuous to be overlooked. It could be intentional. A go at a silent appeal, in the hope that the case will be closed in the shortest possible time. Unfortunately, however, it was ignored. Perhaps it will continue to be left neglected, especially since its resurface is likely to incur wrath of the radicals in the house. Something, and maybe nothing, has to be done. . It's coming, in a matter of weeks.

Bombs and missiles in my head everyday. Thoughts are hardly at peace, and are increasingly perplexed each day. There are simply too much to mull over, or perhaps, I am just overthinking. The workload in school has been overwhelming, but all the more I am not motivated to meet the upcoming deadlines. Is that normal? I am almost half a month into March but there is still no news from the graduate school I have applied masters studies at. In all honesty, I am probably not going to be accepted judging from both my academic and non-academic achievements. Nonetheless I am really hoping they will send me a rejection letter at least. Whether acceptance or rejection letter, it is going to determine whether I start hunting for a job right now. Of course, it is not like I am in a hurry to step into the working force. My mum, however, nags at me almost every day. It is demoralising, really, especially when her nags add to my stress from school work, tuition and whatnots. There are really ...

Mar. 6, 2013 By Chelsea Fagan   There is a specific feeling which exists only when you run into someone about whom you had long forgotten. It’s probably most palpable when it’s an ex, but it can happen with friends who were once particularly close. It is comparable to a scab that seems to have been on your skin forever — a scrape which was once quite painful but has been so long in the healing process that you no longer notice its presence when you wash over it in the shower. You peel it off almost out of boredom and suddenly there is a drop or two of blood, something that vaguely resembles the wound it once was, now too distant to really cause any discomfort. These people are wounds which have healed over, which have never quite turned into scars but which have become just another part of your lived-in body.   Letting someone go — when it is a necessary act of self-preservation, something that has to come if you expect to move forward in life — is regarded as a kind ...

Today's a stark contrast to yesterday's heavy mood. Perhaps the workload has been a little too much to grapple with lately. But yes, it's a simple day today and I am really, really contented.   The day started with a lecture which I wasn't really listening to. I was dozing off the whole time and frankly was waiting for the end of it. But lunch was great with a bunch of friends. Like Mic said, it's been some time since we lunched together in such a big group. I don't exactly like being in a big group all the time but maybe I need that number recently because most of the time I find myself alone while rushing my readings or assignments. And so I am thankful.   I had managed to finish my book review in 45 minutes and I really thought it was badly done. At a risk of getting a scolding, I went to see LL for consultation thereafter. Phew! He seemed to be in a good mood, and there of course, I came out of his office, unscathed ;)   Yanli and I rushed down to JJ to visi...

每年大约这个时候，总会回到这个地方。 仿佛缅怀过去已经成了一种习惯。 每个角落，每条路，还有那跑道。全都还是那么熟悉。 每一次精心安排的“偶遇”也都历历在目。 那都是十八岁时的快乐。 每一次回到这个地方，好像是回到了过去。 每一次离开，喜欢站在跑道上往后走，然后在踏出校门前再回忆一下当时每周一下午三点会做的事。 站在跑道上，假装欣赏着天空，其实是在寻找那个熟悉的身影。 每当朋友问：“你站在这里，不觉得很晒吗？” 回答总是：“今天的天空很美，你不觉得吗？” 想到这里，就觉得很开心 :) “时间总是教人，把好的都记得。当初为什么，没好好再见呢？”

记得《高海拔之恋II》这部电影中的电影, 男主角把"加油"两个字写在手心里鼓励女主角。那画面很感人。

喜欢坐在巴士上最后面、最靠左的位子。 那个位子总是让我最舒服。 如果是晴天，就感受一下温暖的阳光，然后庆幸自己是坐在有冷气的巴士里。 如果是雨天，就听听雨水打在窗上的声音，然后庆幸自己坐在巴士里不用变落汤鸡。 如果是阴天，就看看天空，看看乌云，感受那暴风雨前夕营造的萧瑟和沉郁。 喜欢那暴风雨前的郁闷，因为雨后的空气让人更加豁然开朗。 光想就很喜欢了。 因为单单这样的想法已经带来心中的愉悦，雨来不来又有何妨？

Truth be told, I am really worried about myself. I have lost the drive to study, the drive to upload pictures when I usually do right after I get home, the drive to go for the things I have liked.