past.

Each of his own. I still made this decision in the end. However, it still depends a lot on other aspects. Miss Wu and Mdm Ang gave me very inspiring advice indeed. And now, I really need some luck on my side. Went back for like nothing. Speech Day rehearsal cancelled because of the deluge. And got mistaken by Miss Low for my earrings! -.- Well, but then I saw ...... HAHA. And like what Melissa Heng Heng said, I could feel the breathing =xxxx I know for a fact that without you in my life, I wouldn't enjoy it as much as I do now.

The problem always has to lie with me. Beats me. I can't answer this question because I could be just defending for myself. The one who will tell me if I'm right or wrong is no longer there although I always feel his presence. Who really knows the feeling of losing interest and meaning in going to school? Ha. Everyone's telling me not to do it or reprimanding me because I am apparently in the wrong. No one really cares WHY I'm doing it. And even if I was given a chance to explain, it will still be my fault.

Hey, I went to school today! LOL! Almost late today because woke up 5 minutes late >. Alrights, nothing much I want to say because it's been a tiring day. I'm sooo worn out. Everyone's leaving me but I will miss all. Looks like it's time to commit another offence tomorrow =xx Everybody dreams of a perfect ending. But it's not a film, and I'm not pretending.

Yet another boring day. Spent the whole day watching my VCDs featuring my LAO GONG! CHM! :D Oh yah! Last night he appeared on wo cai wo cai wo cai cai cai! He acted cute but he really was cute!!! :D LOL! And then my another LAO GONG was on Channel 8! GTL!! :D Shucks, if I'm a guy, everyone will call me a Casanova =xxx LOL! Alrights, went for a swim with Mum and sisters. The last time I went for a swim with Mother was when I was p3! =xxx Really been a long time. Well anyway, I feel better now after swimming a few laps, though the fats are still accumulated in my body >. Time for some tutorials and assignments! I had Raspberry Ripple ice cream today!(: And I do feel like a hypochondriac all of a sudden. I just want you to know that I’ve been fighting to let you go. Some days I’ll make it through, and then there’s nights that never end. I wish that I could believe that there’s a day you’ll come back to me. But still I have to say I would do it all again.

Steamboat at Esther's house. This is an every-year thing, though, this year is a little different from the previous year. Perhaps we know why and what but we chose to keep silent because everything's obvious and there is no necessity to voice it out. Ha. Anyone who really knows me will know if I enjoyed today(: I just don't find it fair that I'm treated this way. You have every right to but it's just not fair. I'm not running away and I'm not sure if you are. But you really make me feel upset this time. Alrights, my gastric hasn't been good since yesterday! Jialat. Anyway, time for teevee! My LAO GONG is going to appear! ((: ANGIE, 我希望你早点快乐！ Parallel lines don't meet, and they won't.

One day I will probably die of gastric cancer. LOL. So I skipped school today because of my gastric. But everyone must be thinking I pon-ed! LOL. Super want to go swimming. Feel so uneasy thinking of the fats accumulated in my body!! =xx Just heard on 933 that lemon tea can help slim down! =xxx And, no more supper for me! >. I will still believe you're around me because you said you will be.

Everytime I feel like crying my lungs out, I will go to you and let out everything. That saves my tears, without fail. But if you're the one who makes my tear glands active, who do I turn to? That's my problem now.

我其实有好多话要跟一群在我生活中扮演重要角色的人说。但人生似乎有些太短暂了，我根本没什么机会一次过跟每个人说。只有到今年，我才发现自己多么想念这一群朋友。唯一能够珍惜彼此在一起的时光就只是多出来会一会，偶尔看看场电影，吃吃饭。但看来这一切也都只会是短暂的。很快就要正式上课了，我们还有多少机会聚在一起呢？最怕是大家甚至会失去联络，或是变了个人。谁会知道未来是怎样的？我不晓得会不会有那么一天，走在街上遇见一个相识多年的好友，和他打声招呼，他却不理就掉头走开了。我再怎么希望这样的事不会发生在我身上，却不能保证它不会发生。 悲欢离合虽说是生活中必然的事，但我很想逃避。逃避确实不能解决任何事，但如果这样我会好过些，未尝不是件好事。有些人出现在我生命中，不久后便离开。有的在我不知不觉中离开，那就别说了。但为什么有的却要在我已经习惯他们的存在的时候离我而去呢？分分离离，我实在无法忍受了。我已经累了。Warrick 说得对，也许人生也只不过是虚幻的，何必看得太重呢。

Norbit is worth catching after all! Almost skipped it because I thought I wouldn't like it at first. Luckily I made the right choice! :D Most of all, it was nice because of the company of my dears! Angie, YC, Pei Sin, Stheng, Sther, Tsu Hui and Zhuang Wei! Awww. Really love being with this whole lot! Lunch before that at the -whatever-name- Korean restaurant. Not too bad! Got a treat from Stheng for teaching her A-Maths in Sec4! >. It was a day of laughter and no idea if I'll be watching Epic Movie with LOL tomorrow. Or it will probably be another day of laughter! LOL! My life is nice enough to have you in it.

7th offence! =xx But I told my friends and myself, I will TRY to make this the last time! Alrights, hang on. This is my chart! I'm done earlier than Melissa! =xx They are my shuai shuai!! One more in JJ! But can't possibly put his picture up la. LOL. Moreover he's leaving. Which means I can no longer see him during my Chem lectures ): Sad thing! Went back for Thinking Day rehearsal. Really kind of sucked. So, nothing much to elaborate. =/ No idea why but of all days, I'm reminded of the past today. Everything keeps coming back and making me smile. But still, it feels painful. I have run out of ideas how we can be friends again but even if we can't, I think the best thing is that I will still be going back to see you every Wednesday and Friday. It should be enough. Maybe I was the one who made the wrong decision. Always thought the two of them will stay and that's partly why I made this choice. But ultimately both had to leave me and I realised I should never mak...

What a busy day. Went to 拜年 with my fellow girls, except Sther and Nic. Suddenly felt weird without them! Well anyway, first stop was SiNi's place. Blackjack with Sheena as the banker. Then it was lunch at LJ at CCK. Yummies =pp And then Blackjack again at Sheena's place with Sheena as the banker, AGAIN. Finally, a change of banker at Jia Hui's house! And won quite a lot!! =xxx Then steamboat at my house! But lost all my money to stupid Christopher. However, I actually made no gains and no loss in total. HAHA. Pon? Don't pon? 1. Chem test - have not studied =xx 2. SPA - SIAN. 3. CRAMPS ARE KILLING ME!! =/ Is it by reason of your defects or qualities that I love you, or both? Or is it just you as a person?

What a bad new year! >. Dying for a game of mahjong!

Truly saddening. Miss all the messages I kept for so long. And I remembered something Candace told me yesterday. She met my 715 on Valentine's! And crossed the pedestrian crossing with him! ): YuJia saw him thrice; Angie YC saw him once; Candace also saw him! When is my turn?! >. Happy New Year!(: My dears coming tomorrow! Yup yup, quadruplets cousins! =D And, time to collect ang pows! =xx Will you even miss my devotion, or having me around to irritate?

Alright. Spent more than half my day outside. First, it was skipping of school, AGAIN. =xxx Went back to CT and rotted. LOL. Joined Max and company for lunch at Pizza Hut. Yummies! :pp Must state clearly. With my darlings Angie Stheng YC Max YY ZR TH Feli and YP! As usual, we created so much noise in the restaurant and messed up all our orders! >. They went to watch Follow Law! So sad la, couldn't watch with them. However, the gathering was nice enough(: Mother fetched me from JE and brought me to uncle's VCDs shop to rent VCDs again! So exciting man!! Rented all my HK shows!!! =xx And then, went to buy new phone! Not very nice but then, it's good enough! I'm going to love it! :D Not very used to this model after using Nokia for 5 years. Goodness! =xx So sad can. I want to change phone but I feel super upset whenever I think of my messages! All those important ones are gone! ): Maybe it's time to erase them after all. Please please, no more emo-nising these few d...

Think I have skipped school for too many days and that's why when I returned to school today, I felt weird! =xxx Couldn't even get out of bed in the morning. Was thinking of skipping again, even thinking of asking Pei Sin to join me. >. A good morning started my day because everyone in my class seemed as cheerful as ever and Fiona gave us Valentine's lollipops! =D As usual, felt super sleepy except for GSC lesson. I'm starting to like LOL now by the way. But then, we are going our separate ways so soon ): Yet, I'm still glad! Because most of those who are staying are taking GSC! Great! =D Okay, serious problem here. Do I pon school tomorrow? =xxx If not, I wouldn't have much time left to pon since I'm staying on! =xx But, I want to go back to CT! Though, it doesn't make a difference whether I go back or not because I have gone back so many times. =/ However, some people really draw me to go to school. My shuai shuai! Oh my. I can't help but keep h...

Gracious goodness! Third entry for the day! Because I just remembered something! My number 2 LAO GONG is in Singapore! Shucks. I forgot about it and didn't check him up on the Net. Missed him in the airport! ): So sad can. Missed my number 1 LAO GONG last year then now, not again. Alright, got to watch Men Tu real soon man! So that it can make up my loss =D

Went back with Jia Hui to CT to ... Erm. I don't really know what I did. LOL. Went back to slack, to spend my last day of freedom. Every year's Valentine's Day in CT just seems so lively, almost like Christmas. And anyway, feel kind of bad not going out with LO1. =xxx Some more going to part soon! Well, everyone knows this day has to come anyway. =/ I know no matter how hard I try, it's just pointless. We can never be friends again because you always like to insist that I don't understand you. As much as I want to salvage our friendship, I know that it's not possible anymore. Because you hate liars and I am one. You want the truth but I don't say it. You're stubborn and although I tried not to be so, it's to no avail. Our characters, tempers, everything, just contrast and knowing each other in the first place was a mistake. To think about it, I find it really funny how we actually started knowing each other. I don't understand you well enough, ye...

Who are you now? Are you still the same? Or did you change somehow? What do you do, at this very moment when I think of you? And when I'm looking back, how we were young and stupid. Do you remember that? No matter how I fight it, can't deny it, just can't let you go. I still need you. I still care about you. Though everything's been said and done, I still feel you, like I'm right beside you. But still no word from you. Now look at me. Instead of moving on, I refuse to see. That I keep coming back. And I'm stuck in a moment, that wasn't meant to last. Wish I could find you, just like you found me. Then I would never let you go.

Had a FILLING day at Max's place! Fried rice with ham, sausage and luncheon meat, almond cookie, bak gua, Ribena and Japanese tea! =xxx Mahjong! Too bad we didn't play with money. Otherwise I'm really rich now! =xxx Yesterday just won 60 cents from Zhuang Wei playing Black Jack. Tsk tsk tsk. Indulged in gambling now! =/ Applied already. JJ, NJ, AJ, CJ, NY, SA. Whether I make it or not in the end, all's going to depend on myself already!

When I received my streaming results in p4, my brother chose EM1 for me when MOE gave me a choice between EM1 and EM2. When I was p6, my brother chose my secondary schools for me. He choose Higher Chinese for me when I received my PSLE results. When I was Sec 2, I was finally given a chance to choose my subjects combination. I liked it. Because I have a say in what I do. Now, I don't like it. I have to choose. Something that might determine my future. Some say, "Make the decision that you won't regret." But sorry, I can't predict the future. I won't know if I will regret it in the future. Some say, "Make the decision that you will be happy with." But sorry, I may be happy now, may not in the future. Some asked me about my results. When I said, they said "fine.". I have feelings okay? No one really cared. No one really shared my joy. Not even my mum. She can tell me, "you must be so happy now." But she asked, "Why isn't it...

Happy Birthday to Mr. Joel Tan, in advance. It was so OMG, because Badd and I got him a clock! =xxx Anyway, had fun with the stupid game we played and yeah, food was nice and all :D I'm so going to miss everyone, everything. And no one knows how it really feels. Because everyone thinks I have no say in this.

Do we say life is fair because all of us have 24 hours a day or life is unfair because we have 24 hours a day? It's fair. Because the rich, the poor, the smart, the not-smart, are given 24 hours a day. It's unfair. Because the good, the bad, get 24 hours a day, when the good should deserve more. Alright, release of O levels results today. Did better than expected. But my happiness short-lived. Maybe for like 5 minutes? No point rejoicing when everyone around is grieving. I guess it's just my luck. Hard work doesn't always pay off. They mugged, studied so hard, but in the end? Nothing much to say about my results because I feel more like thanking the people who I ought to thank. Teachers whom have taught me before especially Mrs Gan, Mr Chiang, Mrs Tan, Mr Lau, Miss Toh and Mdm Ang. Of course, Mother too. Although I always turned a deaf ear to her "quickly go sleep la.", I always loved it whenever she said "ke lian uh. du dao zhe yang xing ku.". :D An...

Never was I such a naughty girl in all my years of schooling. =xxx Within these two months, I have already skipped school for the fifth time! Gosh, that's my new record man! At most was twice in Sec 4! This isn't too good. =/ I was listening to the radio with my HP last night because couldn't really get to sleep. Before that, I was listening to BLUE's songs the whole day and when I tuned in to Power 98, If You Come Back was on air! :D But then, when I tuned in to 933, they were playing B.A.D's different version of All Rise. Please la. So shit can. They can't even rap Simon's part well. Worse, it's as if they can only sing the line "Baby I swear I'll tell the truth" in English. Yucks. =xx Ruined the song, totally. At least Elva can sing You Make Me Wanna much better with BLUE's coordination. Perhaps I am prejudiced. Oh well, no one isn't anyway. =xx Ariff told me to make good use of the last day of freedom. I found it really funny. L...

What a touching thing man! Found another one who likes BLUE! (: Wen Jie! Haha. She wrote me a testimonial on Friendster telling me that she loves BLUE too! Oh my. Suddenly found so many zhi tong dao he de friends! =xxx Then I'm listening to all my songs again :D My dear Mr. Busy Man finally called me, after so long! 26 minutes. That's like so short la. >. Skipped school, again. =xxx Won't say I didn't do it on purpose because it was apparently intentional. =/ Slept till 10.30 a.m. and some more never went out with Teck Sheng when I was the one who asked him out first! Like what he said, I'm really a lazy bum! =xxx Today's Mother's birthday. I SMS-ed her at midnight and she thought it was her boyfriend. Lol! =xxx Alright, eating cake later. So I shall get fat again. Doinks. RAHIL BADD SK LEY SHIRLEEN. Miss them all! And, my teddy bear! =xxx

Oh my. All the good old times suddenly came back to me. Shuyi was asking me for BLUE's songs. And then I was talking about their songs to Shang Zhi! Because he listens to their songs too! Awww. I found another great friend to listen to me talking about BLUE! So gan dong! And that leads me to listen to all the nice nice songs by BLUE again. TOTALLY AWESOME! ;D

So bad! Skipped last lesson today. Oh my, sinful deed. To make it worse, I'm actually thinking of skipping school tomorrow. However, since there is revelation, I guess I have to reconsider. After all, my OG started my life in JJ and even though I'm still not getting used to life in this college, I ought to thank them for making me feel that I'm not alone. I hate it to know that those I just got to know are leaving me soon and I have to go back to the beginning. I hate this feeling. Yet, there's nothing I can do about it and I will just have to accept it. Damn. Okay, it's enough. Teachers, classmates, friends, even JJ's Principal are blabbering away about Friday. Release of O level results. Uh huh, like I don't know? I was calm about it but everyone's shaking my confidence these days. See? I am so impressionable. Well, everyone's thinking about the results but, I'm thinking of how happy I get when I see my friends. Sounds dumb, but I have no idea ...

Happy 2nd year to Chris and Hui Min. Time flies, doesn't it? It's been two years. And that couple seems to be staying strong and stable. Hui Min actually thanked me for helping them get together. Haha. No matter how beautiful things may seem to be, they will still have to come to an end. Thanks for being an important person in my life. Yet you left when I was at my lowest. Nothing hurts so much, but I'm a little stronger than yesterday.

Thoughts of the day. 1. I think I enjoy their company most. Angie, Zhi Wei, Felicia, Yuci, Yuyuan, Zi Rui, Stheng, Hui Ting, Max, Zhuang Wei, and Jian Dong. I can't feel happier. Outings with the others are too scary and are merely fleeting moments. This bunch, I love them too much. Some of us went to kbox today. My first time singing into the mic. I enjoyed, despite having to sing Feng. And, I feel closer to them, each time we meet up. 2. Ever since that incident, I guess I'm afraid to think so much already. Maybe I shouldn't fall in love again. Or perhaps I shouldn't have crushes on anyone anymore. Scary thing to do. I'm in no position at all. 3. Last night, I thought of the only song he taught me when I was like 3 or 4? Yeah, that childhood song.. ke ren lai.. kan pa pa.... Don't know why but yup, it suddenly came to my mind that he used to carry me and teach me this song when I was still a toddler. Now, I don't even want to address him. 4. I hate to thin...

Spent a great day with Zi Rui, Stheng, Jian Dong, Zhuang Wei, Felicia, Yuyuan, Ying Peng and Tsu Hui last night! Really missed them loads. And, finally a bus ride home with YY again! :D Love Fiesta tomorrow! Seeing the bunch again! My QYW cried! I also want to cry ):