When I received my streaming results in p4, my brother chose EM1 for me when MOE gave me a choice between EM1 and EM2.
When I was p6, my brother chose my secondary schools for me. He choose Higher Chinese for me when I received my PSLE results.
When I was Sec 2, I was finally given a chance to choose my subjects combination. I liked it. Because I have a say in what I do.
Now, I don't like it. I have to choose. Something that might determine my future. Some say, "Make the decision that you won't regret." But sorry, I can't predict the future. I won't know if I will regret it in the future. Some say, "Make the decision that you will be happy with." But sorry, I may be happy now, may not in the future.
Some asked me about my results. When I said, they said "fine.". I have feelings okay?
No one really cared. No one really shared my joy. Not even my mum. She can tell me, "you must be so happy now." But she asked, "Why isn't it 8 or 7?"
Indeed, I can try for HC. But does anyone know that I can't cope there? I can try for NJ too. But I really want to take up LEP. And to do so, the best choice will be to stay in JJ. Yet my brother has to say "You will regret.". Everyone thinks I'm dumb to harbour the thought of staying in JJ. "Don't be stupid," they said. Everyone thinks I want to stay because of the culture there. I don't know who will know. I'm not liking the culture there and neither do I want to adapt to a new environment again.
I want LEP, that's all. Telling me to give up on this programme is nothing to me. But I'm only saying, this is something I will be more interested in if I were to study in a college. However, if I can't get into NUS, my mum will probably blame it on JJ. I don't want that to happen. But again, I can't foresee the future.
I want constructive advice, opinions. Not telling me "You will regret.", "Make the choice you will not regret.". I'm standing alone now, and I hate it. My mum, my brother, my teachers, have told me to make my own decisions. But I really see nothing ahead, I have no directions. I'm so helpless.
All of you make me feel that taking O levels is a wrong thing to do.
When I was p6, my brother chose my secondary schools for me. He choose Higher Chinese for me when I received my PSLE results.
When I was Sec 2, I was finally given a chance to choose my subjects combination. I liked it. Because I have a say in what I do.
Now, I don't like it. I have to choose. Something that might determine my future. Some say, "Make the decision that you won't regret." But sorry, I can't predict the future. I won't know if I will regret it in the future. Some say, "Make the decision that you will be happy with." But sorry, I may be happy now, may not in the future.
Some asked me about my results. When I said, they said "fine.". I have feelings okay?
No one really cared. No one really shared my joy. Not even my mum. She can tell me, "you must be so happy now." But she asked, "Why isn't it 8 or 7?"
Indeed, I can try for HC. But does anyone know that I can't cope there? I can try for NJ too. But I really want to take up LEP. And to do so, the best choice will be to stay in JJ. Yet my brother has to say "You will regret.". Everyone thinks I'm dumb to harbour the thought of staying in JJ. "Don't be stupid," they said. Everyone thinks I want to stay because of the culture there. I don't know who will know. I'm not liking the culture there and neither do I want to adapt to a new environment again.
I want LEP, that's all. Telling me to give up on this programme is nothing to me. But I'm only saying, this is something I will be more interested in if I were to study in a college. However, if I can't get into NUS, my mum will probably blame it on JJ. I don't want that to happen. But again, I can't foresee the future.
I want constructive advice, opinions. Not telling me "You will regret.", "Make the choice you will not regret.". I'm standing alone now, and I hate it. My mum, my brother, my teachers, have told me to make my own decisions. But I really see nothing ahead, I have no directions. I'm so helpless.
All of you make me feel that taking O levels is a wrong thing to do.
Comments
Post a Comment