past.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGIE :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUWU :) Ohana full strength today. Recently, always think that such time spent will get rarer and rarer. I don't know why either, that I've been trying so hard to catch up with everyone of late. As I look through the pictures taken today, I feel that I've aged a lot. Don't know about the rest, I think they look pretty the same. Well but yes, we are all growing up together. And it's scary how time flies to the future and never return. Sometimes I wish my loved ones will move at the same pace as me but somehow, it's just not that possible. Some are slower, some faster. Darren ever said, those who have gone ahead of you but still care will stop and wait for you. Is that really the case? Makes me feel ashamed. I don't remember stopping and waiting for anyone who has lagged behind. But yes, there are people who have moved so quickly that I have lost sight of them, sometimes sets me thinking if I've been...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YC :) Hope you like the surprise :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAN RU :) -NM paper was an absolute joke. -Thank you Ben. I love you too! :) very very much! 我可以的。因为我是 Ben 的朋友:D -Was a wonderful night spent with Ohanies last night. There is a fine line between seeing something that's lost as missing, and seeing it as something that might be found. Be the optimistic you, GL. You must continue to believe.

I don't want to imagine the worst but it keeps coming to me. When I think of it, fear engulfs me. 这是不是就是悲伤？

Rui gave me permission to blog! Below are the contents I typed but did not post for the past couple of days... 20/11 -Haven't studied with the girls in a really, really long time. This time, without YC. Don't worry YC, I guess very soon we will probably be studying together again! :) -Chris is back from HK. Lunched with him and got the books he bought! He's an awesome man, really. -I miss Mel. 21/11 Happy Birthday Hui Min :) Happy Birthday Yu Ying :) -Today is also baby Chua's birthday :) Boss Chua gave birth today! Very very very happy for her :) She's such a nice lady and therefore, deserves such a beautiful gift. -I changed it back! Need the motivation to move on with life. -Thank you Rui :) 记得要帮我保密哦。 -I figured I don't really have the time to fuss over the unimportant and unnecessary stuff. -I find myself extremely ridiculous that I'm actually troubling myself with things that are so... silly. Come on GL you need to grow up and mature. -I think there are...

考得不好？ 又不是第一次。伤什么心。 朋友出口伤人？ 你又不是没有伤过人。干吗这么在意。 Things will only get better from here. 别人只喜欢积极的你，不是憔悴沮丧的你。别再自甘堕落了。 加油 GuoLian! 我相信你可以的。 Rui! I promise this is my last entry! You won't catch me blogging anymore. I will only be back when exams have ended :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIAHUI :) I hope you like my awfully designed present. I am glad and honoured that I spent your birthday with you. 2012. Will those disasters happen? I don't know. But those are real possibilities that make me realise I haven't done a lot of things I want to do. What am I waiting for? I don't really know... I told a very, very big lie. I'm really sorry, girl. I didn't mean it. I think I don't have to defend myself. But really, I don't mean it. I'm terribly sorry. 你不要再退后了好吗

Can't believe my Friday is wasted away like this. Seriously, GuoLian, you should just buck up.. Stop reading. Today has to be the very, very first time my mum makes me feel that she trusts me. 原来我还是会不经意地等待。。。 我终究是爱你的。 好像是我依赖你比你依赖我多。

我想我不是难过，也不是生气。好像只是有点…失望。 为什么总是要我让？我可以让。但不是应该有个极限吗？我不是圣人。我只是普通人。我可以让，但在我让之前，先让我知道可以吗？ Don't desiccate that little tinge of joy left in me.

Saya rasa penat sekali..dan sakit. Belajar selama satu jam...berjalan di dalam rumah...mandi...belajar. Kenapa saya mesti belajar?! Kalau saya ada banyak wang...saya akan berhenti belajar di NUS. Boleh tidur setiap hari..atau pergi ke melancong! Procrastination running circles in my head. It's so damn tough to keep to my study timetable. 明日复明日 明日何其多 日日待明日 万事成蹉跎 Okay, I will persevere.

ONG HONG WEN! Don't be sad! ANYMORE! CHEERS! 笑一个！ 你值得拥有快乐！:D

Right, a very fun-filled day. So it's time to get back to decent work again. We had good food today, games, activities. Fun that should suffice till the end of this month. Technically speaking, 2 December. I know I won't keep to the study timetable I did. But I will try! Perfect is unattainable but it leads you on so that you'll constantly be moving and never stagnant :D Pardon me if I'm uncontactable for the next one month. The race is starting..

Is it still about catching people, at the right time? What if you catch them but what comes after is nothing but awkwardness and silence? By then, perhaps speed won't even help anymore. It's not a game of catch anymore. It's a game of catch-up. Yes, you will need speed. But what's more important is probably the effort and commitment to catch up. Look out for what you're catching up with. Gaining victory in the race doesn't mean you get to race against the same opponents again in the next race. They might have all left you. Because you've been catching up, but in the wrong context. And yes, I'm going to start my battle soon. Have got all my petrol topped up, maps all ready. What I'm lacking is probably the interest or momentum to even participate. I'd seriously prefer walking around aimlessly like with Zhi today. Life can be such a bore but a leisure. Nothing else has to matter. Okay. This isn't going to be permanent I know. I...

Yes, the weather these days is mad. Nevertheless, Zhi and Fel and I still swam for a good hour. And I feel extremely satisfied now, that I've finally gotten myself a pair of decent sandals. Have no idea how many times I've slipped in my flip-flops this month. I hate it. And I hate how you all are taking away the things that belonged to me. But I tell myself, I shall not entertain these negative thoughts. These thoughts are like a 千年老妖. Sometimes it clings on so tightly to my mind that even the voice of reason inside me cannot overcome it. I'm going to learn from Ben! Even though she always claims that she's a crybaby, she has a very strong and firm will. Nothing seems to crush her and she just has to believe that "只因为我是Ben.". Amazing. Get lost, you devil thoughts! There's always an ugly duckling in us. No matter how much we've grown, prettier, more matured, more confident, the ugly duckling continues to live inside us. Diffidence, fear, u...

First question: Have you found joy in your life? Second question: Has your life brought joy to others? This was in one of the videos we watched during socio today. I'm not sure if I've brought joy to others. One thing I know, when I'm upset, some people around me are influenced and will get upset too. Much as I don't want that to happen, I can't really control. I'm sure, those who, or at least most of them, feel upset because you are upset, really care for you. It's as good as asking me to go for a party when my friend is feeling down in the dumps. There are actually a lot of ways to be happy. However, to begin with, you need a right mindset. Yes, sounds extremely queer coming from me. I'm still learning. But I certainly don't want this learning journey to include having to feign being happy when I'm not. For a start, I think I really must make optimism my plate of breakfast. Yes, to me, optimistic can almost be equated to happines...

Today, Mie said that we should refrain from saying the bad things, if they hold no purpose at all. There are actually people who can't speak at all. I never believed such things were possible till I watched the video about Mary No Name. Indeed, we can speak and use such beautiful words. Then we should let such beauty carry on. If saying unpleasant words won't do anything good and even bad, then no point saying. Language doesn't even have to have words. Mie is such a nice lady. (Coconut you should just join my tutorial group tomorrow and meet her!) Finally met my dear Nelson after I really don't know how long.. This friend is someone whom I can communicate with like almost everywhere, not necessarily face-to-face. Thank you friend :) Remember: You'll always have my support! (even if you're heavier than me!) People come and go. Some stay. Some left. It doesn't mean those who have left won't come back. And don't be too certain that those who stay won...

NO. I am not emo. *rolls eyes* Dear mosquito, I'm sorry I killed you today. You were really annoying and causing me so much discomfort that I felt damn tempted to smack. R.I.P. A bowl of yong tau foo + a slice of banana cake + a plate of western food + a slice of butter cake + a bowl of rice. I think this sucks so much. Kenapa saya makan terlalu banyak?! I can't seem to sit still and do my readings or study. I just want to read a book, relax. But it's not exactly within my affordability.. Isn't it hysterical how we wished we were studying when we did part-time jobs during the hols. Yet we want to escape from the pile of books when we study. Saya penat sekali, tetapi saya mesti membaca buku-buku saya dan belajar rajin-rajin. Sungguh mau berhenti pelajar..tapi tahun satu saja.. mesti tunggu sangat lama.....