past.

Words are like nets - we hope they'll cover what we mean, but we know they can't possibly hold that much joy, or grief, or wonder. I hope I can be as high as today next Friday. Ohwell.. The clock is ticking. The days are nearing. So shiok! Dinner with Chris. Oyster omelette with lots of chilli is good! I realised I really can get very tired when it comes to Guides. I really had the urge to give up and stop everything, stop going back, stop answering calls and stop replying messages. I'm not really sure if that has to do with my expectations but.. When you lose the passion for something, what is it then that keeps you holding on? Not that I can think of anything..

In the space between yes and no, there's a lifetime. It's the difference between the path you walk and one you have left behind; it's the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are; it's the legroom for the lies you'll tell yourself in the future. Let me see. 8 periods of PE today? YES I TEACH PE TOO. I'm amazed how I managed to compete with the noise pollution from the construction site while getting a rowdy class to settle down early in the morning. Shopped with Nicholas. No nap! Hopefully I can get some sleep tonight... Walking is good. I've been walking a lot for the past few days. But walking in heels can really kill. Can't wait to go trekking again. HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUI YING! :D HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY YITING! :D

Had a noisy class today but managed to subdue them with my powerful voice and stares :) But GuoLian's in good mood today to be angry with anyone :D Met up with Sam. Like after how long? He's becoming lame! Heavy dinner with Rahil, Badd, Shahrul and Ariff. They are still as rowdy as ever but I enjoyed. Badd's leaving this week and I am so going to miss him! His sarcasm rather. TAKE CARE BADD I LOVE YOU! :) I'm probably the most contented person on earth today :) Realised a lot have eroded but I guess that's the best thing that can ever happen for now. Thanks for the chance I was bestowed with. I think I'm so fortunate.

No lesson for the day! Yeppies :D Lunch was exceptionally yummies because it was Joey's treat! Alright, I shall be objective. The food that his dad's cafe serves = MARVELLOUS! Visit to Max's and as usual, he was alive and jumping. And as always, played like a bunch of kids. Especially that old lady Angie. *rolls eyes* I am NOT anticipating!!

Turnout for 6F gathering: 14 (Including Mrs Kee and her kid!) Well, I'm still glad to have a gathering like such and it's nice to see people whom I have lost touch with for quite a couple of years, Jeremy, Shen Tong, Fedora etc. Some people don't change, the way they talk, walk, laugh. HA. Caught 游龙戏凤，wasn't that nice because there wasn't really a climax in the plot. What I appreciated was the moral behind it. Confession. Oh well...

Alright, a long-waited dinner that was planned very much beforehand was in the end (still) cancelled. For the past two weeks, I used to think my world only revolved around the dinner that was going to come today. Well but... Today I kind of realised that it didn't really matter that much after all whether this part of my world continues to revolve or not. Perhaps this calls for a celebration? Shopping at Bugis is just as bad as that at town. :( Made a trip down with Wei Xin and then... We started to try out clothes (that we didn't intend to buy but trying for the sake of trying) in fitting rooms! Exercising self control is damn important when you frequent places like Bugis, Far East etc. Otherwise you will still end up in bankruptcy even if you have a husband who is Bill Gates' godson. Met BOSS JOEL TAN on the train back. Still as irritating and talkative as ever :D Continued to shop at WM! Shopping alone can really be quite cool, especially for someone as indecisive as me....

WHY DO THIS TO ME. :(

A girl was soooo rude to me today. Firstly, she didn't want to do her work and then ME: Can you stop talking and start doing your test now? SHE: I don't have the worksheets. Secondly, she stepped on her dictionary. ME: Don't step on your dictionary. SHE: This isn't dictionary, it's Thesaurus. ME: Still, you shouldn't step on it right? SHE: It's an accident. ME: It's not. SHE: If you don't believe me, FINE. ME: You're being very rude. SHE: I told you it's an accident. If you want to think that way, it's FINE with me. Next, she kept making noise with the Snappel cap she got from who-knows-where. ME: Can you stop making that sound and distracting the class? SHE: What sound? ME: You know it yourself. SHE: No I do not. ME: Alright I shall confiscate it then. SHE: *stares* ME: Alright class, please submit your test paper now. You can go after you have submitted. SHE: Na. *passes me the test paper* ME: You're not going off until I get an apo...

Yesterday was no doubt a blessed Valentine's. :) Valentine's Day with Ohanas can probably be the best, even better than with the other half whom I have yet to meet. Picnic was marvellous except for the creepy crawlies that disturbed us while we were enjoying the food and breeze. Yet it was still loads of fun. Max's mini party of the week! All the various food types that were imported from Korea, something fresh and definitely yummy. All of us ate non-stop despite the condition of our throats these days. Anacondo 3: Offspring was thumbs up. Watched Anacondo 1 on VCD ages ago with my brother. Anacondo 2: The Search For the Blood Orchid was in the theatre with Shirleen, Chris and Clement. This time it was with the Ohanas and I enjoyed, totally. (I'm sorry Zi Rui that I kept tugging at your shirt!) Went to the toilet after the movie, and then came back to be surprised by the lot. They played 天灯 （our current signature song) and presented me with a golden box that contained l...

An online Valentine's. Have a blessed Valentine's.

Sold Valentine's Day little gifts during recesses and the gifts were selling like hot cakes, finishing by the second recess. Orders are coming in and it only means I have to make more. And yes, I do not earn any from these. It was supposed to be a contribution from me as an ex-student and as a teacher in the school. Alumni bbq was... I wouldn't say it was a success with all the mess we created. I could not help but scolded "WHATTHESHIT" all night during the clean-up. And Darren unknowingly got on my nerves by saying pointless and demoralising things. Yes I know 不知者无罪. So I do not and am in no position to blame him, moreover he helped to clean up too. Nevertheless, big thanks to Salih and Jiande who have done a lot. In fact, they really did the most. Xiu Ying and Jason too, for the cleaning up. On a happier note, I TOOK PICTURE WITH CHARLES, after anticipating it for 5 years.

I miss you , GuoLian. The happy and strong-willed you.

Promoting for my boss Joel Tan! Brilliant essay :D http://www.sporton.com.sg/tabid/340/Default.aspx

I might just give up anytime, it's quite, or maybe very, tiring.

School was all about shouting and staring at students today. I don't like it. When the teacher has to start scolding, no one benefits. The students' ears suffer and the teacher's throat suffer. But kids are just so... Childish. Are the kids today different from those in the past? Or is it just me who doesn't realise I had also been like that when I was small? Or maybe like what Cao Yu said, karma. Made some purchases at the bookshop with Wei Xin after school. Along the way coincided with 3 or 4 Guides. I was.. Okay I don't really know the term to use. They actually bothered to walk one big round just to avoid me. I remember no matter how my seniors punished me, I would still respect them. So... Does the problem lie with me? Perhaps I'm the one who can't command respect. Am I a failed YA? I wonder.

Lazy swim with Ce today. I love the sun! TAKE CARE CE I LOVE YOU OK. Dinner with chewchew and Angie. Finally the presents are in the hands of the rightful owner! Very good response from the alumni. Quite excited about Friday! However, there is also Guides meeting on that day. Sheena and company please come down!!

Towned with YC and shopping with her is really a sinful thing to do. Within 2 short hours she succeeded in tempting me to purchase 3 different items. Thank goodness they are so cheap! So cheap that even the niao GuoLian bought non-stop. Finally met Mrs Ong! I missed her tons man. Finally caught her in her shop, though I almost couldn't recognise her. Met Elgin, Joshua, Xinfu and Malcolm too. They got the NHPS tickets from me, $140 worth of them! Such niceys. I've granted Ohanas' wishes by signing up for Facebook. But I swear I'm a geek at it. TAKE CARE ANGIE I LOVE YOU.

I'm not fit. HA. I'M NOT FIT. I can't be any more disappointed than this.

Ages since I last saw Sheena, SiNi and Nicolle! Still as 变态 as before, and rowdy, and violent. But I love them all the same. Tsu Hui, 老婆 and Ying Peng too. Missed them tons. Too bad I had to rush off... Ohanas just don't seem complete without any of the eight. The absence of Zi Rui and YY made me feel something had been amiss. Well, an enjoyable Chinese New Year visit to Max's though. I love the cashew nut cookies!!! An add-on to the fats in my body.. Arh shucks. I can't believe I cried so badly IN MY DREAMS last night. It was such a simple dream, nothing significant.. But when I woke up, my eyes were flooded with tears, and I was overwhelmed by this strong sense of grief and... a feeling similar to compunction. Can't wait to see....

Reminisced with Mrs Kee, Joey and Wei Xin in the staff room before the school bell rang for dismissmal. It's amazing how people change, for the better or worse, or seem to have vanished from Earth. Some friendships maintained, some drifted, whereas some do build up over the years. Meeting the ladies tomorrow, really can't wait. It's been really ages since we all met. There won't be a complete reunion tomorrow, but at least I'm seeing the majority. Wonder what's with the day man. In the morning I saw a squashed lizard in the living room, and it is believed that Harry stepped on it last night before he went to bed. Then in school I saw a squashed frog, and its lurched intestines. Gross.

Made a video for Zi Rui two days back and... It made Zi Rui and YC cry! I'm truly happy. Not that I'm gloating over the fact that they cried, but because I realised I can touch people's hearts too. Always felt that whatever I do isn't good enough to touch anyone's heart. However, when Zi Rui and YC told me they cried, I could feel their sincerity, it was very real. :) Took leave from school again today. My throat is killing me, after shouting at 2 classes yesterday, and having a bowl of Prosperity porridge with a whole lot of pepper, and then Burger King with Wei Xin, Yan Hong and Ser Hui at night. That doesn't stop me from eating more junk food today though. :D Oh yes. Dinner with them last night was fun-filled. I made Yan Hong borrow a book from the library! It's so nice to meet up with people whom you've lost touch for quite some time. Hopefully I get to meet Darling next week. Have been a very negative person, be it with regards to my relationship wi...

Still that little tinge of pain when you pop up from nowhere. Who are you now? Are you still the same Or did you change somehow? What do you do At this very moment when I think of you? And when I'm looking back How we were young and stupid Do you remember that? No matter how I fight it Can't deny it Just can't let you go I still need you I still care about you Though everything's been said and done I still feel you Like I'm right beside you But still no word from you Now look at me Instead of moving on, I refuse to see That I keep coming back And I'm stuck in a moment That wasn't meant to last I've tried to fight it Can't deny it You don't even know That I still need you I still care about you Though everything's been said and done I still feel you Like I'm right beside you But still no word from you Wish I could find you Just like you found me Then I would never let you go Though everything's been said and done I still feel you Like ...

When you least expect it, one day you open your eyes and there is an unfamiliar turnoff, a vantage point that wasn't there before, and you have to stop and wonder if maybe this new landmark isn't new at all, but rather something you have missed all along. Last night was well spent. A second round of reunion dinner with family, though this family wasn't the traditional one, but Ohanas. We didn't gamble after all but the get-together itself was sufficiently fulfilling. Milo cheesecake for Zi Rui was a flop but I'm thankful he liked my new recipe "Only For Augustine". Mushy it sounds and unpleasant it seems on the outside, but taste guaranteed! Zi Rui, I hope you succeed tomorrow. STEP OUT IN FAITH AND ALL THE BEST. :) ONLY FOR AUGUSTINE. It's almost impossible to delete this blog of mine. This has nothing to do with any server error, like what Hui Ying and Wan Ting used to say, HOW CAN I BEAR TO DELETE ONE WHOLE CHUNK OF MEMORIES. Can't believe I...