past.

Frankly speaking, Mrs Chan is a rare teacher. She's one of the most boring teacher I ever seen =xx Her Maths lecture can make me sleep really well. Her voice is monotonous to the extent I can't help but doze off. Imagine she might be teaching me in J2 as well. LOL! >. I finally have the feel of JC life because this week has proven all. It's such a hectic life and I'm not handling well with my WOW time management. LOL. I miss secondary school life and doing my A-Maths TYS over and over again. Sigh. 'Shopping' with Angie today! HAHA. Fun fun fun. But I burnt a hole in my pocket and guess I have to start scrimping again. Sandwiches for breaks again for the next 2 weeks. Zhi Wei and me - the bread eaters. LOL! =xxx I kind of love my life because in school I get to see familiar faces and once in a while, I meet up with the usual gang. Will life still be like this after this year? I wonder. Perhaps something's going to change somehow.

Pei Pei and I were almost late again. No idea why the bus was extremely slow today when we were in fact earlier than usual by five minutes. So before the gate was closed, we ran in just in time to get to our classes. Mr Leow and Miss Chaw were like shephards at the gate. LOL. And Pei Pei was too engrossed in her running that she almost knocked into the pillar =xx And yeah, slept too late last night that I slept almost at every lesson =xx Maths lecture and Civics in particular. Boring, boring, boring. My throat's hurting so badly and it's killing me. Tried every way to cure it but nothing seems to work right now. Argh. This is driving me nuts, really. No matter how hard I try, we'll still be worlds apart.

Rights, what kind of a day is today? I have no idea and I wonder if I will remember this date. LOL. Firstly, PW exhibition was -.- because nothing was really relevant to the theme this year and yepps, the system's kind of corrupted with the J2s asking the J1s to vote for their booth. LOL. And then lovely Angela came to tell me that my shuai shuai wanted to buy tickets from me so I chionged down to find him with Pei Pei and Sther. They were like super anxious to know who this legendary cum mysterious person is so they followed me and yepps, made a fuss out of everything and I felt so doinks. So when I was pondering upon whether to go up to my shuai shuai to sell him the tickets, Pei Pei and Sther couldn't stand my hesitance and so they went up and sat at the table behind him. Apparently shuai shuai was aware of it and he took out his money even before I went up to him. That was indeed, MALU. LOL. So while 3 of us were in the cab, I SMSed my shuai shuai to apologise, and it went ...

Maybe the Death God decided to keep me on Earth a little longer before taking me away. I thank him for that because I haven't finished the many tasks I ought to complete. I feel so guilty over my irresponsible doings. Pei Pei and the driver scolded me but I really appreciate their scoldings because it was really wrong on my part. Not only was I traumatised, Pei Pei was as well and I'm really really sorry about that. And for a fact, I really haven't felt so traumatised in my life and I really want to quickly forget about this incident because it's giving me the jitters. It was only when Death God was so close to me that I realised I don't want to die yet.

Firstly, I lost my baobei water bottle on Friday and it's not in the Guides Room! Where else can it be?! So saddening can?! It's a birthday prezzie from Zi Rui and Max! ): Secondly, Tuesday is a long day and I'm going to hate it. But then again, my timetable is probably the slackest one in JJ. You bet.

Basically it was kind of pointless to set my alarm because I didn't really do any work even though I woke up earlier than usual. Today isn't the usual Sunday I spend because I'm at home the whole day, not at JE library or anywhere else. Woke up too late to catch my Doraemon! Saddening. Nevertheless, I continued glueing my eyes to the teevee after my brunch. Finally at 12 plus, I tuned in to 933, thinking I have not listened to long hu bang for quite some time. But didn't even finish listening and I thought it was time I did some work. Oh what a tragedy. The last time I did picture composition was like P6? And now I have to 重出江湖. In other words, make a comeback. LOL. I stared at the picture for like 1 hour but still had no inspirations. I walked around the house, sat down on the mattress, lied on my bed. COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING! HAHA. And then Price Of Peace was on teevee and so I went back to my teevee watching =xxx Finally started penning down something at 4.30p...

我慢慢的跟着月亮一路往回走 夏天的风吹在脸上感觉寂寞 我知道你有几秒钟也想念他 我心疼你,但心中有点痛 一个爱情习题 一种未完待续 一句在雨伞下你说的对不起 亲爱的我们都会错 我了解原因是什么 你不要哭,一切我都晓得 你听时间,它一步一步往前走 你知道的,到最后爱你的是我 你快乐吗? 我心中只有这句话 我会把眼泪收在口袋中 一声在山谷中大喊的我爱你 亲爱的我们都会错 有什么不能原谅呢 没有关系 让我等你回头 爱你的人是我不会错 Today's an emo day, but I don't know why. Maybe Max is right. Try listening to your MP3 when you're in the emo state. You'll realise the songs played are ironically the emo songs. LOL. This is one observation I made after what he told me. Could be true. LOL. There are so many novels I want to buy right now, after seeing those books in the library today. So tempting! Yet my library card's not working and so I have to borrow from someone soon. I'm not liking my class. GRRR. Zhi Wei and I have to xiang yi wei ming and once in a while I suan Ma Rui that's all. I miss Fiona Pei Ting Shang Andy Xiang Jun Li Ping Angela Xin Yu etc! ): I wonder if I'm really getting more attached to this than drifting further away from it. Yeah, it's my life inde...

Yepps. Really, it's true. It's one of the best days in my year of 2007. I have tried and I have succeeded. I thank Meganathan for that :D Finally saw my darling today and took a picture with him. LOL. He definitely looked good in his uniform. HAHA. And yepps, no idea when we're meeting up again. Everyone's busy with his/her life. Or, we don't even have a life in JC. LOL. Speech Day rehearsal was not too good. Girls were rude and some really got on my nerves. Dinnered with Jia Hui and Mrs Tey. Nicey Mrs Tey gave us a treat but in turn, I have to do her a favour by clearing her 10 booklets. LOL. Of which, I only managed to sell 2? Or 1? LOL. I'm really really sleepy and I have no idea why. Must be school making me feel tired and bored =xx Will you miss my devotion.

I'm drained. PE was GREAT. Wonders if I have lost weight today >. What a tragedy. I didn't tio a single similiar lecture with my shuai shuai. This is sad. Alrights, if Zhi Wei sees this, she's going to scold me again! =xxx But I'm really upset! ): Speech Day rehearsal was alrights because my girls marched well and they're much better than the other supporting contingents :D Mrs Tey and Miss Toh very pro. Threw me 12 booklets to sell. More from Miss Lee and Mrs Tan on Friday. LOL. My shuai shuai doesn't want to buy! What a tragedy. I let the chance slip through my fingers, again. It always happens and I'm quite tired of it. Why am I always so dumb?

It's been a boring day again. I could nod off to sleep any moment! Still, I endured till the last moment when lesson ended at 1 pm :D GP lecture started the day. Miss Bay was the lecturer! But sad thing that she isn't going to be my GP tutor. What a tragedy. Well anyway, the issue was something worth racking my brains over. "Is it easy to find a suitable partner today?" LOL. Someone actually brought up the argument that Korean drama serials are causing people nowadays to develop unrealistic ideals about their partners and have higher expectations of a spouse. Therefore it's not easy to find a suitable partner today. LOL! Amusing yet logical I guess. CSC was hilarious because the new trainee teacher asked me what we Singapore students read since we don't have the habit of reading the papers. I said BOOKS, but I meant storybooks, novels and all that. Yet the whole class mistook my statement as mugging for exams and they burst out into laughter! >. CLL lecture...

Officially first day of school today. I'm back to LOL, though I didn't really like it. Because everyone's gone. The ones left are probably only Ma Rui and me ): But, will be classmates with Zhi Wei once again! So, that's not too bad after all. =D Met Pei Pei in the morning. She was late, as usual. Saw Bing Kun at the bus stop, and he was waiting for Jin Hui, as usual. Reached school and met Sther at the bus stop. Saw my twinie and then we hugged each other, again. LOL. So we went into the school with our hands around each other's shoulders. HAHA. Checked class and went to gather in OG 18. My shuai shuai just beside me =DD LOL!! Urm. So sad la. Civics tutor not Miss Bay anymore. Super saddening. And don't think she'll be teaching me GP either. Long break today after GP. Chatted nonsense with Zhi Wei and off for CSC. Quite fun for a start! Though I still prefer GSC =D The teacher also more interesting =xxx LOL. COH cancelled. So sad can. 你快乐吗？ 我心中只有这句话. 我会把眼泪收...

Thank God I made a mistake. Phew. Alrights, stood the whole day today but it's okay!!! Congrats to YC for getting in. It's her first victory!! =D Exciting neh. HAHA. Pinqi got in too! But not XX. So yepps, whatever it is, everyone has tried her best. School's starting tomorrow and I'm not at all eager about it =/ DUH. Who is? My life's going to be packed again, especially with YA as a CCA. The hectic life is back. And I have only 1 year plus to prepare for my A's. I have a goal to achieve and though it may seem a bit far away, I'm going to do my best!! I want to prove to Mr Chiang that he's wrong.

So I survived the UH camp after all and I'm back alive and kicking! LOL. But, after this camp, I realised and learnt quite a number of things. 1. Other than the friends I have made in Guides, my 4 years in Guides have been in vain. 2. I have been a lousy Guide. 3. I have been a useless PS in 2005. 4. I have been a useless PL in 2006. 5. I got to make sure my girls are not useless girls. Definitely have learnt much more than these, more that I have never come across in all my 4 years of guiding life. Guess it's really time to pass down the knowledge. Hmmm. I will try, my very best, not to use any vulgarities anymore, including in my blog. No matter how frustrated I get, I'm going to tolerate and tolerate and TOLERATE. And so, although I'm exploding already, I will be patient, I will TOLERATE(:

A minute ago, I lost the mood to blog. So, I will do it when I'm back 3 days later.

Shang Zhi posted quite a sentimental entry yesterday and I got a little too emotional reading it. Perhaps yesterday was an emo day. LOL. Well, yet there's one thing I can't deny still. Maybe we will feel upset today for having to separate. But just years, or months down the road, we probably no longer feel anything. After all it's a bond forged within 2 months and more. I'm not saying this because I am the one who's always MIA. As a matter of fact, humans tend to be forgetful, usually. And I think that's definitely one of the saddest life in life. We bond, separate, and forget. For the next few months, we probably will still stay close and meet up occasionally. Will this last? I seriously doubt so. As much as I wish that there's no ending to every happy tale, I know as well that we got to face up to reality. Nevertheless, I love LOL loads and tonnes despite it's a short period spent with them. Haven't really bonded with all but I really thank God to ...

I was already full of reluctance to go to UH camp. Now, looking at the camp kit list, all the more I don't wish to go! Must bring YA Uniform and court shoes! Argh! So troublesome! Who bothers to go the hassle to bring such stuff to a camp?! >. Talking about court shoes, it really almost killed me today. Cut my leg so hard that it's so badly wounded now! ): I'm really scared of my shoes now. Please, and I have to wear them during the camp! Grrr. >. So yup, went to HQ with Jiemin to attend YA Induction. Got enrolled, FINALLY. But I couldn't help but kept thinking that I really regret my decision now =/ But what to do? There's no turning back for me now. I can only accept this and move on =/ It was a boring day at HQ anyway =xx So anyway, went to meet Angie Zhi Wei and Max! Took train, AGAIN, to HF and went 'shopping' in Giant. LOL! Poor Zhuang Wei played hide-and-seek with us cause' I kept telling him the wrong place =xx HAHA! So we wasted quite a lo...

Karma? LOL. Shrugs. Every now and then, my gastric acts up for no particular reason. It came without any syndromes. Not much of a use even after taking the medicine. The moral of the story is: Always have a balanced diet. LOL. Felt like dying the whole day. Went to WM in the hope to get presents for 3 people. Didn't find anything in the end. A wasted trip. Oh well, but now I'm indulged in something that I think is the chim-est thing I have ever done for someone. Hopefully I'll be in time to finish it. LOL. YA Induction tomorrow >. It feels awkward and just not right talking to a teacher over MSN. Only had this one experience when chatting with Mr Lau the other time. Other than that, chatted with Miss Bay today. Super weird! But yeah, she's really nice la. Super friend-like teacher. I'm going to pray hard that she continues being my Civics tutor! Animosity in the past, strangers then, friends next?

What a day. Had brunch with Mum and sisters at Clementi. Waited uber long for the noodles and while waiting, I accidentally spilled the hot soya bean milk onto my leg. >. And then, video-watching till now! Youtube was probably tired of me and that was why it went wrong. I spent the day watching Blue's videos, again. No surprise why youtube suddenly went sot. And yeah, two nights ago I dreamt of Blue coming back to hold a concert in Singapore! Well, guess that's how much I miss them ): There have been news going around saying they will not make a comeback. But, I don't believe! I'll be waiting! (: Chatted with Pei Ting and it reminded me of the good old Guiding days. Maybe it was foolish of me to sign up as YA because of a dumb reason. But what's done is done. I think I can only commit myself to the company for the next two years and take part in the many camps and courses which will never interest me that much. Most of all, I am going to raise the girls' stan...

"u see me den turn ur head away" He realised. He did. Haha. Contented.

Met Sther outside JJ and then went to get our uniforms while she got her appeal slip. Yup, she's coming back to join me in the same class! LOL. And then was like so awkward, everyone was asking me why I was there =xx Ate lunch at mum's place and visited the doctor. Doctor said my throat was swollen. Knew it! Lol. Went back for training. Taught the girls new commands today. Fun! :D And and and, our school's NB team won again this year! Felt really sorry for not going down to support Kexian. It was her last match =/ Well, they did a good job still and it's worth celebrating definitely. So sad la. Pei Ting SMSed me and told me she was standing next to my shuai shuai! >. Why are your feelings this unfathomable.

Today is yet another sian-ed day. Social Entrepreneurship talk. What the. It's boring, boring, boring! After that still need to come up with a proposal. Diao. I don't think it's that applicable. I'm so sad can. First, I lost the LOL that Fiona gave me. Then the office called me and told me that they have to switch me to LEP Arts because of the combi I'm taking. So I'm saying goodbye to Fiona Lin Ling YC Pei Pei and Li Ping le! Looks like the loss of my LOL was a bad omen already. Perhaps I'm not fated to be in LOL after all ): And, I'm saying HELLO to Zhi Wei cause' 99.9% I'll end up in the same class as her. If Esther is back, that'll be double happiness for me :D I'm super sick now because of -God-knows-why-. Sneezing away like no one's business and my gastric.. just won't recover. Oh I so feel like dying can.

Orientation today, sucked. So sian-ed. Darren was like a monkey on stage =xxx PLEASE! Nevertheless, it was great being in the same OG as Fiona, Wai Fan, Chang Yee, Soon Jin, Pearl, Keehong, Jeremy, Foyang, Dawn and Nelson! Especially when Wai Fan, Pearl, Keehong, Foyang and Jeremy were a fun lot(: Pearl and I were laughing at the P's speech and discussing about guys =xx My shuai shuai was in the neighbouring OG and Wai Fan took an interest in him too! LOL =xx The worst gastric problem I ever encountered all these years and I'm seriously dying already. Went back to CT and was glad to see the girls marching better than the Scouts =/ Though, still failed to say bye.

Went kboxing with my dears! Partly to have fun and partly to train a to-be Campus Superstar! >. Bused with Yuyuan and met the usual punctual Zi Rui at Clementi. He was wearing jeans! For the first time I'm seeing him in jeans. LOL. Angie was 17 minutes late! Naughty naughty! =xx So anyway, YY bought Portugese egg tarts while Angie and I bought some food from Macs and we smuggled into the room =xx Noisy Tsu Hui was late as well. But then she came at the right time to make everyone get noisy with her. HAHA =xxx Max joined us too!! We weren't really singing initially till it came to 屋顶! Suddenly everyone started going crazy and it became 大合唱! HAHA! So fun! Then after that we were all sot already. Tsu Hui and I had to leave early, a bit lugi. LOL =x cause' Today's pricing was quite high, but the fun was priceless :D I'm rejoicing already! XiaoWei is coming to JJ! :D So want to hug her! YC is coming to join me too! Moreover very likely to be in the same class as her! ...

Stayed home all day long to watch shows. Finished watching two already. One was so sad. I don't know if I teared because I yawned or because it touched my heart. LOL. It pained again and today was a bad one. We talk over MSN like friends but when we see each other, it's a different story. I hate a life like this though there's nothing much I can do to change it. If each time I go back can be like last Wednesday, I seriously won't mind. I think that'll be good enough. Maybe I might not be contented and end up grumbling again, I don't know. But even though each time I ask for something really simple, my wish isn't always granted. Another 2 months to 2 years. And I kind of hope this 2 months won't pass so quickly. Or it might seem so long. Whichever direction I turned to, there was no way out.

Lib with Angie and Zhuang Wei! Finally man! But could be our last time studying together. Oh well, who knows. Anyway, quite slack today. Only copied the notes that I missed during that 11 days of absence =xxx Spent quite a lot of time crapping and all that. Though, I still finished my tutorial =D IMM next and we met up with Melissa Heng Heng. Nice curry puffs Angie and I had from Old Chang Kee. But too hot that it burnt my gum =/ There was a clearance sale at this VCD shop and there were many Tom & Jerry VCDs! Only 5 bucks!! But got to save $$ la. So Angie and I said something TOGETHER, "qu youtube kan!" HAHA! So yup, off I go now to watch! =D I wished there were more days like today. Even if it's just a slack day, a boring day. But with the company of my friends, anything is worth. One more day, just one last day. And I'm saying goodbye, to almost everyone around. Maybe I was too blind to see, that you needed a change.

Dying already! Alrights, went for footdrill course with Miss Lee and Jiemin. Yesterday was okay because it was a short 3-hour thing only. Today was 8 hours! The NCC LTs were really nice and funny. And then, I made super loads of mistakes =xxx But definitely a great experience beacuse I really learnt a lot of new drills and cleared my old doubts. Miss Alsagoff's not too bad after all =xx can be super amusing. LOL. I can't imagine I'm going off for a camp so soon. Super reluctant neh! And yeah, I miss the guiding days. I miss my seniors and my fellow girls ): So sad can. Friday I saw my shuai shuai twice but haven't got a chance to take a picture with him! Angela must have scared him off. LOL! =xx Super satisfaction. Till we meet again.

It's another round of struggle, another round of tussell. I'm tired of going through all these again and again and especially when no one is around to give me rational advice and encouragement. Some nothing has deprived me of my childhood and now, wants to deprive me of a choice that rightfully belongs to me myself. No, this choice is mine ultimately. Whether it is a right or wrong one, it's my business. I have had enough of letting my eyes swim in tears and feeling I'm down in the dumps because of some little things that shake my confidence. Regret? Oh yes I will regret. In my 17 years of life, I have regretted so much and I'm sure there are more regets to come. I have all the chips in my hands but I don't know what bet to make. It's not as if I can predict whether I will win or lose. If that's the case, every gambler is a winner. Sadly, I haven't figured out how life works. And I don't think I will ever figure that out. Life isn't really ab...