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It's another round of struggle, another round of tussell. I'm tired of going through all these again and again and especially when no one is around to give me rational advice and encouragement.
Some nothing has deprived me of my childhood and now, wants to deprive me of a choice that rightfully belongs to me myself. No, this choice is mine ultimately. Whether it is a right or wrong one, it's my business.
I have had enough of letting my eyes swim in tears and feeling I'm down in the dumps because of some little things that shake my confidence. Regret? Oh yes I will regret. In my 17 years of life, I have regretted so much and I'm sure there are more regets to come.
I have all the chips in my hands but I don't know what bet to make. It's not as if I can predict whether I will win or lose. If that's the case, every gambler is a winner.

Sadly, I haven't figured out how life works. And I don't think I will ever figure that out. Life isn't really about making choices. But about worrying over the making of choices. Worry a little, and a little more, and a little little more, and strands of grey hair will grow with these worries.


I'd run a thousand miles to get you.
And until the end of time, I don't know why I'm still waiting.

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I'll never understand.

Some people, you try to break them before you build them. Some people, you are only remembered by them when they need your help. Some people, you spend time trying to change them only to realise you were never someone who could impact their lives. Some people, they hurt you so much but you know, they are just not worth it. So, don't bother. ASPIRE 2010 was a screwed yet another learning experience for me this time. I'd really like to thank my fellow peers for going through shit with me. And thank goodness that I believe in miracles. You never know what happens until the last minute, really. I never felt so shagged, and devastated about people.

All the small things.

So blonde Neo came with a packet of sushi and my chrysanthemum tea and Mr. Bean's pancakes. We continued to gorge ourselves with cones (actually just 2) of Cornetto which I bought to reward myself after a long time of not having eaten ice cream. We studied and also watched The Family Court. I really feel sad for AhWU that everyones hates his Leshan role but I guess he's right that actors and actresses like to see audiences' reactions towards their acting. What a breakthrough for him! Had supper with Shirl and Eh Chris! at somewhere nearby. Continued to study with Angie and we (or rather I) had a bad night because she was coughing quite badly. Blonde Neo I tell you, you better start drinking bottles of water when you get home today. NO MORE CHIPS!!! I'm watching you.... So anyway, in the morning we had Mac breakfast and Angie FINALLY invited me to her house wheeeeeeeee. Happening hor? Meeting the climates (Auntie Rainbow, Sunshine boy and Rain) later to celebrate mid-aut...