past.

Perhaps it would have been easier if I said that not being able to find something is like suddenly not remembering the words to your favourite song that you knew off by heart. It's like suddenly forgetting the name of someone you know really well and see every day, or the name of a group who sang a famous song. It's something so frustrating that it plays on your mind over and over again because you know there's an answer but no one can tell you. It niggles and niggles at me and I can't rest until I know the answers . - A Place Called Here, Cecelia Ahern 有时候我会想，这几年好像都被浪费掉了。用了整整三年的时间，把不愉快的事情都藏在心里，去等待一些不会再重复发生的事，不会再回来的朋友。这是一种遗憾，遗憾的是，白白浪费了三年。错失的东西很多，也未必能再找回来了。 有时我会想，我真的好像痛痛快快地大哭一场，把之前埋在心里的不愉快都哭出来，重新来过。

Today I met my sec4 best friend for brunch. He is going to Melbourne for his further studies. In sec4, I didn't really have best friend except him. It was weird how we got to know each other. We said hi to each other one day at the bus stop and we became good friends. I know I was never his best friend but he had always been mine. All the heartaches, sorrows, he would let me confide in him. We drifted later because we were posted to different colleges. But he was still there when I was at my lowest. And then we drifted further after he entered army. He used to do very stupid things. He came all the way to the playground near my house to hear me rant for three hours just because I said "I am not happy." He wrote me a very long message in my 18th birthday card and he said it was the longest message he had ever written. He appeared in front of me immediately once when I called him and asked "Where are you?" He let me use the pathetic umbrella while he ran in the ra...

今晚好热。 我从刚才11点开始重看《妙手仁心》第二部。看到我最喜欢的那个人物被杀死了，我就不看了。 我仍然是我。看到不开心的结局，或者应该说是自己不喜欢的结局，总是会选择性的不再看下去。 这不是完美主义，只是想要世界美好一些。但是事物再怎么美化，人总是喜欢在那仅有的美丽中找出一丝缺点。 前几天，我又做了我答应过不会再做的事。 我很想在那被涂鸦过的白纸上加些东西，美化它。但是，尽管我再努力，白纸上的涂鸦只是越画越丑。有些人会说，从另一个角度看，也许它也称得上是艺术。 但从我的角度来看，它就是涂鸦。

开心可以有很多理由。 不开心也一样。

I could never be more foolish than this, really.

I finished Dahl's Matilda last night. It was as good as when I read it at ten years old. The very precocious Matilda still interests me and I suppose why I always have this impression that reading makes one a confident person is because of her image portrayed by Dahl. I thought I was very tired but I did not manage to fall asleep as soon as I went to bed last night. There was a deluge in the middle of the night and the pitter patter on the windows made me unable to sleep well. With about 3 to 4 hours of sleep, I dragged myself out of bed and headed for tuition, where the collection of tuition fees this week really made me a very motivated and happy person. I met Nelson for lunch (it was my treat!). I figured for a moment before I bought my second pair of shoes which cost me only 5 bucks (but they are so comfy!). We went to the library where I returned my book and borrowed another two. I borrowed another X-men comics and I am excited to read it. Headed for another tuition session an...

好书鉴赏 昨晚睡觉前，读完了在香港买的一本书《说好了，要比我幸福》。开始读的时候，以为只是一本很普通的通俗爱情小说，但事实并非如此。它是一部关于穿越时空，改变命运的故事。有一个人有一部能够带人回到过去或去到未来的手机，他听到一群以前的中学同学正在‘想当年’，就把这群人带到十年前的校园生活。结果大家的命运都改变了。其中一个，为了改变心爱的女人的命运，不停地回到过去改变一切，但是女友终究要死。 我们总是喜欢说以前的日子多好多好，如果回到以前就好。事实上，认真想想，如果，我是说如果，我们真的回到过去，我们真的可以接受吗？改变当初作的决定，最终的结局就会比较理想吗？我们就会比较快乐吗？ 当然，我知道，这些也只是假设性的。世上本来就没有如果，事情发生了就是发生了。 爬山/走路 今天在学校打了球之后，去爬山了。那条路已经走了十多次，照理来说，应该是不会迷路的。但是，对于一个非常‘路痴’的我来说，迷路根本就不用管那条路走过多少次。快走完的时候，发现我的一条‘必经之路’居然被封死了。刚开始我有点担心，但是多亏有两个朋友在，总算找到出路。虽然这条路走过这么多次，但是每一次跟不同的人走，总有不同的新体验，新发现。有时候，也有一些小小的新领悟。 我今天真得好累。全身累，脑累，心累。

Sometimes there is nothing left to say.

原来喜欢一个人可以有如此大的魔力，让一个人有勇气，有力量，做出平时不敢做的事。 我想我应该很久没有喜欢人了吧。很久没有感受过这种力量了。 但在我记忆深处，曾几何时，我是多么的充满力量……

It's going to be a difficult step, but I'm sure things might turn out fine if I make a gamble.

Never thought I would have such a dream again. It was so vivid, so vivid I wished it was not just a dream.

I went to collect pay today and I was really elated because the amount was quite a lot more than I had expected. And the boss has kindly given all of us a bonus which I am thankful for despite the amount. Ting Hui and I shopped around for a while and we made good use of the GSS. Aww I just love GSS. I had tuition before meeting Shen Tong and Ben for late lunch and heading to Shaun's house for mahjong. I lost quite a bit but I am still very happy because it was an extremely fulfilling catch-up and great time spent together with the fellas. Shaun was very nice because he sent all of us home, and his mum was also very hospitable, she made us very nice buttercake. A day couldn't have been better. P.S: I think I miss Ohanies quite a bit already. Enjoy yourselves dears, see you all real soon :)

I had tuition in the morning before meeting Ya Huan for a very light lunch at Long John. I think I got bored of Clementi Mall and so I was very sian. I decided to make a trip to JP because I was too bored. I bought some clothes without having to ask for anyone's opinions because I was alone. That is what I like about shopping alone. Very decisive. Esther came to join me and we walked around for an hour or so before I left to meet Chris. I went to eat zi char with Chris near his place and we almost killed ourselves by ordering four dishes which we still managed to finish in the end. The food was very nice but I think it was because we were very hungry. We walked very slowly to WM to digest our food. I saw X-Men poker cards and it was the last deck left so I bought it without any hesitation. Then we went to the library where Chris borrowed Marvel comics on Iron Fist while I borrowed Dahl's Matilda which I have not read for very long and Marvel comics on Cable. I am very excited ...

I've always been known as one with really good memory. I remember dates and numbers really well. Maybe, remembered, cos' I figured I am slowly losing this flair. Joel once told me that short-term memory becomes long-term when memories are being put into rehearsals. In other words, if you bother to remember something, you will always bear them in mind. And perhaps that is why I've always managed to memorize good friends' numbers and birthdays. Hence, it is true that you can achieve something when you put in the effort. What is the brightest corner of your mind? For me, I do not really know. Maybe I should say, as of now, the brightest portion remains as the J2 school walkway and a very close-knitted family when I was a lot younger. For the latter, there is nothing I want to talk about it because some changes are irreversible. For the former, I guess there is something I can do about it. I was struck by something Storm said to Logan when I watched X-Men 3 just now, "...

Never fail to feel upset at the end of X-Men 2.

I feel like watching X-Men 1 2 3 all over again.

"Not everybody heals as fast as you, Logan." Reminded by Angie.

I was once again woken by the sound of the rain this morning before I got myself ready and dragged myself to work. It was technically the last day of work and so there was no need to entertain customers but just packing books into boxes and dismantling boxes and shelves. It was extremely tiring work but as usual, we never fail to derive joy from doing the chores. And then we happily left for a very late lunch followed by Rocher soya beancurd. The company was really a great one and I haven't laughed so heartily for two weeks straight in a long time. All thanks to a bunch of hilarious colleagues! I believe I have to slowly get used to days without them this week. Now that work has ended, I really want to quickly finish as many books as possible and perhaps complete the tasks which I have set myself when holidays started. I can't afford to slack! Caught X-Men First Class with good friend just now! I thought the ending was sad as always but it was still a good one. Thank you Nelson...

Today, Mel and Tinghui went with me to 313 to take a picture with AhWU's figure board after work. I look forward to taking a picture with AhWU's real person soon. 年轻时就是应该做这样疯狂的事。自己开心就好。

放下过去. 这是一个同事今天对我说的话。她是在开玩笑。事实上，我想要真正去实行它是更大的玩笑。