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at the doctor's

Much as I am in my mid-twenties, I am still scared of going to the doctor myself. But while I don't like to, here I am. The clinic always makes me feel vulnerable, and more so today because of a nightmare that literally jolted me awake at 2.25am. I think I woke up three times at least. It set me thinking why he just wouldn't let me off. In the dream, he didn't die after all. He scolded me for not doing much for him, as if he had done anything for me. At the end of this line, I think I know that I'm probably the one who wouldn't let myself go. Honestly, I just don't know how. This nightmare never discontinues, and it kills me all the time. Have you wondered how it's like to wake up in perspiration and finding it difficult to get back to sleep? I have this problem since he was around and even after he's gone. This is so exhausting.

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