Red bean

The radio is playing Faye Wong's Hong Dou (Red bean in English) and it is amazingly soothing for both the heart and mind at this moment. I'm enjoying this peace on a Saturday evening. It feels as if the past few months have been a very long nightmare, thus, this peace I'm enjoying now is indeed a stark contrast. In fact, too much a luxury. And being the paranoid me, I dare not feel too content lest my bubble pops, again. If the past nine months have left a deep wound, I think I wouldn't say I have already recovered. I would be lying. My emotions are still settling, and I am doing it very slowly. One thing I learnt, I used to rush myself into recovering from setbacks but every time, I merely pushed the remnants of bad things to the back of my mind. The result of this, is the same that happens to a wound that is not appropriately nursed. So, I am going to give it time. There are still times I walk on the streets and hallucinate seeing people who have since departed. There are still times I sit at the back of the bus and wonder why things happened the way they did. There haven't been tears, I think the amount shed in August sufficed, considering my tear glands weren't usually active. I have a constant source of joy these days, and I am hoping it is here to last.

The radio plays very nostalgic songs tonight. There is a relatively new one that conveys a philosophy that couldn't have resonated more with me.
http://youtu.be/fJWN7wtvaJ0