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painful

Mum fell outside the house last night. She sat on the road for a while because her knee was badly grazed she couldn't help herself up. Her phone was inside the car and she had no strength to reach for it. When she finally called me while I was about to turn in, I got really vexed. Not because she disturbed my sleep, but because the last time I heard her cry was less than a month ago when we went out to sea to scatter the ashes. That, was very disturbing. Being the only one who has some knowledge in first aid, or should I say because there wasn't really anyone at home, it was my job to clean the wound. That was quite a bit of blood. And every time the cleansing tissue made contact with the wound, her knee jerked. Her tears flowed. Of course she did, it looked really painful.

I had some of that pain inside me too.

I don't want to lose her, while I know, recently I have been defying her wishes in a way or another. Friends laughed, as if it was a joke. In all honesty, I don't find it hilarious at all. It gets on my nerves and there are times I get so agitated I almost hyperventilated.

Seriously, I can't wait for a break.

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I'll never understand.

Some people, you try to break them before you build them. Some people, you are only remembered by them when they need your help. Some people, you spend time trying to change them only to realise you were never someone who could impact their lives. Some people, they hurt you so much but you know, they are just not worth it. So, don't bother. ASPIRE 2010 was a screwed yet another learning experience for me this time. I'd really like to thank my fellow peers for going through shit with me. And thank goodness that I believe in miracles. You never know what happens until the last minute, really. I never felt so shagged, and devastated about people.

All the small things.

So blonde Neo came with a packet of sushi and my chrysanthemum tea and Mr. Bean's pancakes. We continued to gorge ourselves with cones (actually just 2) of Cornetto which I bought to reward myself after a long time of not having eaten ice cream. We studied and also watched The Family Court. I really feel sad for AhWU that everyones hates his Leshan role but I guess he's right that actors and actresses like to see audiences' reactions towards their acting. What a breakthrough for him! Had supper with Shirl and Eh Chris! at somewhere nearby. Continued to study with Angie and we (or rather I) had a bad night because she was coughing quite badly. Blonde Neo I tell you, you better start drinking bottles of water when you get home today. NO MORE CHIPS!!! I'm watching you.... So anyway, in the morning we had Mac breakfast and Angie FINALLY invited me to her house wheeeeeeeee. Happening hor? Meeting the climates (Auntie Rainbow, Sunshine boy and Rain) later to celebrate mid-aut...