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unaddressed

Dear Mr. Yeo

I had a rare tea break with the dearest youngest sister yesterday and we talked a lot about it. A portion of me heaved a big sigh of relief when she shared her thoughts. I guess I needed her to let me feel less evil. I got myself a soyed hojicha latte and it was terrible. Terribly sweet. Now I am more certain I should always stick to my soyed green tea latte.

Shimu treated me to a feast. We talked quite a bit about you. And how you and her got married. To be honest, when Shimu asked me for dinner two weeks ago, I was a little apprehensive because I was afraid she was going to tell me what everyone else has been telling me to do. But she didn't, at all. She listened to me very attentively and I was so worried I would bore her. She shared with me your principles, your way of life, all of which gave me strength. Sometimes I wonder what you would tell me if I had a chance to tell you all these. But anyway,  I am really appreciative of Shimu's goodwill because sometimes I jink I don't deserve to be treated so nicely.

I haven't been more needy actually. And the clique has given me a lot of support and comfort these days. That is to me, very essential. It's as if I'm the one injected with morphine now. Because when I decided to run away from it last week, they readily gave me their word to keep me company yesterday. We talked until 3am I think. It occurred to me that we used to do really childish things during sleepovers last time. But we don't anymore. It was pretty much just talking and very importantly yet insignificantly, enjoying one another's presence. I don't know about them. But I guess during a period like now, that worked for me. And it really warmed my heart when we woke up really early to have breakfast together. I don't remember the last time we did that. And the big bag of comfort food, of course. It would probably help curb some pain.

The past couple of days were slightly better. I know this isn't going to last. I only hope things don't get too bad that I have to gasp for air all the time. Because I am about to step into the working world and I need a lot of strength to pull through. The thought of last December was horrible. I really don't want to go through that again.

Thank you, for having been a pillar of strength.



GL

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I'll never understand.

Some people, you try to break them before you build them. Some people, you are only remembered by them when they need your help. Some people, you spend time trying to change them only to realise you were never someone who could impact their lives. Some people, they hurt you so much but you know, they are just not worth it. So, don't bother. ASPIRE 2010 was a screwed yet another learning experience for me this time. I'd really like to thank my fellow peers for going through shit with me. And thank goodness that I believe in miracles. You never know what happens until the last minute, really. I never felt so shagged, and devastated about people.

All the small things.

So blonde Neo came with a packet of sushi and my chrysanthemum tea and Mr. Bean's pancakes. We continued to gorge ourselves with cones (actually just 2) of Cornetto which I bought to reward myself after a long time of not having eaten ice cream. We studied and also watched The Family Court. I really feel sad for AhWU that everyones hates his Leshan role but I guess he's right that actors and actresses like to see audiences' reactions towards their acting. What a breakthrough for him! Had supper with Shirl and Eh Chris! at somewhere nearby. Continued to study with Angie and we (or rather I) had a bad night because she was coughing quite badly. Blonde Neo I tell you, you better start drinking bottles of water when you get home today. NO MORE CHIPS!!! I'm watching you.... So anyway, in the morning we had Mac breakfast and Angie FINALLY invited me to her house wheeeeeeeee. Happening hor? Meeting the climates (Auntie Rainbow, Sunshine boy and Rain) later to celebrate mid-aut...