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unaddressed

Dear Mr. Yeo


I'm addressing this to you not because I am upset today. In fact, I haven't felt calmer. I woke up much earlier than usual today because Sze Sze had asked to dine with me a few times but we were both too busy to complement each other so we decided it would be today. In all honesty, I wasn't really feeling ready to meet people (except for the usual few) but I felt maybe I should show some courtesy. It was a simple breakfast and I had appreciated that. And eating the beehoon at The Deck often reminds me of you. Because the last time we had breakfast at The Deck, you had that too.

I didn't manage to accomplish much work today because my dearest Z texted and asked to meet me for soyed latte. I knew it deep down that she just wanted to talk to me. So I chucked my work aside and met her. On the way to meet her I bumped into Prof. Koh and he kind of made my day because I used to always think that he never remembered my name for I was never a high profile student in his class. But he actually did remember. He even knew what I would be working as soon. So anyway, Z treated me to a venti latte frap. These days people keep treating me because they just want me to feel better. I am really grateful. We talked and talked and I cried again. This woman's first reaction was, "I have never seen you cry." In fact, no friend of mine has. If anything, I think only M has heard me sob over the phone and that's about it. She gave me a pat on my shoulder and I suddenly felt that I have been so vulnerable these days I could hardly keep my emotions at bay like how I used to. But I couldn't be more thankful for the timely chat.

Then I went to your place to prepare your girl for her oral examination tomorrow. She made my day too. And I have never seen her laugh so heartily. She was laughing over a dialogue which she read monotonously when it was supposed to be read in an angry tone. She went on laughing non-stop and had trouble stopping that she walked one round in the living room laughing. I laughed too. And I really thank her for that because it made me feel so much lighter emotionally. I really like how she would laugh with me now, because she used to be so reserved.

M, SYX and I had Watami again. I kind of knew they asked to meet because they wanted to ensure I am doing fine. Thank you, so much. Some things don't change. And sometimes that's good to know. I earned another blackball treat from M and over desserts, there were a lot of encounters to share. So I thought, maybe the only good thing about having graduated from uni is that every time we meet, we have deeper and more varied experiences to share and to confide in each other or one another. That means a lot, to me at least, because everyone is going through a hard time and everyone needs to let it out.

It hurts me to hear that everyone's having a hard time. I hope things will get better for everyone.

By the way, I feel that I finally found someone whom I can rely on. I don't know how things will turn out but the thought alone renders me a great sense of security and I think that will suffice.

Last but not least, I always wanted to say, thank you so much, Mr. Yeo. You have been my faith these days. I don't know where you are now but I feel that you know what I am going through. I guess everyone just needs someone to understand. And Shimu has also been so nice to me. Thank you, so much.



Regards
GL

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I'll never understand.

Some people, you try to break them before you build them. Some people, you are only remembered by them when they need your help. Some people, you spend time trying to change them only to realise you were never someone who could impact their lives. Some people, they hurt you so much but you know, they are just not worth it. So, don't bother. ASPIRE 2010 was a screwed yet another learning experience for me this time. I'd really like to thank my fellow peers for going through shit with me. And thank goodness that I believe in miracles. You never know what happens until the last minute, really. I never felt so shagged, and devastated about people.

All the small things.

So blonde Neo came with a packet of sushi and my chrysanthemum tea and Mr. Bean's pancakes. We continued to gorge ourselves with cones (actually just 2) of Cornetto which I bought to reward myself after a long time of not having eaten ice cream. We studied and also watched The Family Court. I really feel sad for AhWU that everyones hates his Leshan role but I guess he's right that actors and actresses like to see audiences' reactions towards their acting. What a breakthrough for him! Had supper with Shirl and Eh Chris! at somewhere nearby. Continued to study with Angie and we (or rather I) had a bad night because she was coughing quite badly. Blonde Neo I tell you, you better start drinking bottles of water when you get home today. NO MORE CHIPS!!! I'm watching you.... So anyway, in the morning we had Mac breakfast and Angie FINALLY invited me to her house wheeeeeeeee. Happening hor? Meeting the climates (Auntie Rainbow, Sunshine boy and Rain) later to celebrate mid-aut...