Dear Mr. Yeo
I am so tired.
Because I didn't want her to be unhappy, I postponed two classes and went down to the hospital with her and the brother and his girlfriend. I wonder if the corridors in the hospital were deliberately made that way. Dimly lit, very clean and long, and full of bends. You cannot help but think of all the possibilities later while walking along the corridors. For a hospital I didn't think that was very friendly. She walked exceptionally fast. Or maybe I walked too slowly. Honestly that scared me a little. Because I was trying to reach for her hand but her pace was so fast and the brother and his girlfriend were in between us. I think, he has slimmed down again. But he was still looking bossy, arrogant. That look on his face when he beckoned for the nurse to stop adjusting the position of his bed. I just knew, a leopard doesn't change its spots. She started weeping. That caught me. I was really confused. But I guess I probably wouldn't be able to understand that. I wonder if she ever loved him. Or if she did, does she still, now? I secretly thanked God that she didn't make me call him. Because I really wouldn't know how to do it. The doctor led us to a place called the tutorial room. As a doctor I wondered if she was being a little too emotional. She tried to make us understand the current situation, which again, made her cry again. This time, harder. The social worker passed a packet of tissue papers while the doctor continued. The uncle and cousin interrupted every now and then, passing remarks which I deemed unnecessary. They came to a consensus, of which I never participated in. Throughout the conversation I think I only said my name and nodded my head twice.
On my way to class, I saw a grandma and a mother pushing a pram with a very tiny infant sleeping inside. He was so small and seemingly vulnerable. I wished his parents would take really good care of him and not abandon him such that he would grow up hating them. Because when he does, he will have fingers pointing at him and not his parents. He would have so much hurt that he couldn't tell anyone about but he still has to bear the immense pressure other people exert on him. That would be so, poor thing.
The thoughts were killing me. I figured I needed my drug. Kinderbueno White. Thank goodness there was a Giant nearby. I got myself another two, one original and one white. Later during class, I took them out and asked student to pick one. He thought for a long time before taking the white one. I probed, why the white one? He said it was because he had not tried the white one before so he wanted to give it a try. I thought to myself, if I were him, I wouldn't pick the white one just because I hadn't tried it before. I always stick to my preference. I don't like trying out new stuff for the sake of trying.
When I boarded the bus to go home, I had my ear piece on but it took me nearly half the journey home to discover that I hadn't played the music list. I guess there were far too much voices in my head that I didn't need music. On the bus, I felt slightly out of breath. In fact, very breathless. I wished I could forgo everything in my life, curl up in my bed and sleep all day.
How do you suppose I can be freed?
Regards
GL
I am so tired.
Because I didn't want her to be unhappy, I postponed two classes and went down to the hospital with her and the brother and his girlfriend. I wonder if the corridors in the hospital were deliberately made that way. Dimly lit, very clean and long, and full of bends. You cannot help but think of all the possibilities later while walking along the corridors. For a hospital I didn't think that was very friendly. She walked exceptionally fast. Or maybe I walked too slowly. Honestly that scared me a little. Because I was trying to reach for her hand but her pace was so fast and the brother and his girlfriend were in between us. I think, he has slimmed down again. But he was still looking bossy, arrogant. That look on his face when he beckoned for the nurse to stop adjusting the position of his bed. I just knew, a leopard doesn't change its spots. She started weeping. That caught me. I was really confused. But I guess I probably wouldn't be able to understand that. I wonder if she ever loved him. Or if she did, does she still, now? I secretly thanked God that she didn't make me call him. Because I really wouldn't know how to do it. The doctor led us to a place called the tutorial room. As a doctor I wondered if she was being a little too emotional. She tried to make us understand the current situation, which again, made her cry again. This time, harder. The social worker passed a packet of tissue papers while the doctor continued. The uncle and cousin interrupted every now and then, passing remarks which I deemed unnecessary. They came to a consensus, of which I never participated in. Throughout the conversation I think I only said my name and nodded my head twice.
On my way to class, I saw a grandma and a mother pushing a pram with a very tiny infant sleeping inside. He was so small and seemingly vulnerable. I wished his parents would take really good care of him and not abandon him such that he would grow up hating them. Because when he does, he will have fingers pointing at him and not his parents. He would have so much hurt that he couldn't tell anyone about but he still has to bear the immense pressure other people exert on him. That would be so, poor thing.
The thoughts were killing me. I figured I needed my drug. Kinderbueno White. Thank goodness there was a Giant nearby. I got myself another two, one original and one white. Later during class, I took them out and asked student to pick one. He thought for a long time before taking the white one. I probed, why the white one? He said it was because he had not tried the white one before so he wanted to give it a try. I thought to myself, if I were him, I wouldn't pick the white one just because I hadn't tried it before. I always stick to my preference. I don't like trying out new stuff for the sake of trying.
When I boarded the bus to go home, I had my ear piece on but it took me nearly half the journey home to discover that I hadn't played the music list. I guess there were far too much voices in my head that I didn't need music. On the bus, I felt slightly out of breath. In fact, very breathless. I wished I could forgo everything in my life, curl up in my bed and sleep all day.
How do you suppose I can be freed?
Regards
GL
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