I know you have had a rough time yesterday. Especially last night. The tossing and turning till 3 a.m. And then the nightmares which you probably no longer remember. It is good. It is good not to remember the unhappy.
If there was any loss yesterday, it was a little bit of faith. But because you have lost so much of that, maybe that tiny bit yesterday should not matter so much. Thing is, it twisted you anyway. It was uncanny, wasn't it? From the way you shivered after Starbucks yesterday. Even though it was your favourite soyed green tea latte which was supposed to act like potion. And the hot pot place. It was playing all the songs you now hate to hear. The lyrics were exceptionally pretentious, weren't they? So it was like food therapy on one hand and heartwrenching songs on the other. In the end, the session only caused more hurt than heal. And then finally, the weeping of the sea at 10 p.m. People say, the sounds of sea waves have a therapeutic effect. Apparently, you heard nothing but a deafening silence in you. That, clearly, was not calmness. It was void.
But I know, you are only going to get better. Do not forget the daily reminders you set yourself. The consistency you promised. If being grateful helps, then be grateful.
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