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losing track of time

Tuesday has flown past. Time seems to pass really quickly these days, not too bad an idea. Suddenly that feeling of having lost track of time is back again and it can be a good thing. I have got quite a number of things on my plate and I am not complaining because they keep me very constructively occupied. Yes I still do dwell on certain matters but they no longer make me upset. So I guess, people do get out of troughs eventually even if they do not want to. What's more I have always wanted to? There are still matters that get on my nerves. Like how this student I cared for so dearly decides he does not need my help anymore. Like how my brother throws my clothes and belts away to make space for his precious lego. Like how CLIF3's editing and Ng's acting are so terrible they make me shake head repeatedly. But I am glad. I can hardly get angry for more than five minutes now. Maybe it is the bipolar issue, which comes in useful during times like this. Maybe I have hit rock bottom enough to not find any reasons to stay calm during a tsunami, let alone these are just harmless tidal waves. I came across a post a few days ago that says if one's love is unconditional, one will not get hurt, one gets hurt because one expects returns. While I think that might be true to some extent, I think hardly anyone can achieve that so-called unconditional love. We are merely humans and I do not quite believe that people do every nice thing for nothing. Any reason is something. I helped LH with her lesson plan today and it may sound like my help was uunconditional, but I think I rendered my help because I would feel better doing so and feeling better to me is a condition too. I believe there are nice people around but loving unconditionally? Barely. Well, much as I do not love unconditionally, I am always thankful for the short meals with close friends, like dinner withbf and W today, and occasional confiding chats with girlfriends, like with A, Z and M.

I have set many deadlines in my head. Goals too. Haven't done this in a while. It feels good.

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