one step at a time

If the distance between the bottom and the opening of the black hole is a thousand steps, I think I might have moved a step forward today. I still had my nightmares, my brunch still tasted bland. But watching the latest episode of Asia's Next Top Model 2 kept me occupied, mentally. And then I watched the second last episode of SIAC. Tonight's the last episode. That, honestly, is very demoralising. In the month of March, that serial has been why I'm still sane. The end of it is so going to render me... I don't know, lost maybe? These days I have been a regular at the weather forecast website. Precipitation at 3pm, it stated. And I patiently waited. It did. For 5 minutes. Not the kind of big raindrops that would pelt down in torrents. But good enough. Simple dinner with WX before we supported S at his concert. I was secretly delighted over dinner. The taste of pepper in the cream sauce was pretty noticeable. The texture of the linguine, appropriate and sufficient. Finally something that made me feel alive again. I have almost forgotten the last time I found something nice to eat. S made a short speech at the end of the concert. I turned to look at his mum. That expression was priceless. A mother who was so proud of his son. When they met outside the hall, they ran towards each other and hugged. Very dramatic, but certainly very sweet. On my way home, I dug out some past which almost got lost over the years. I realised i don't feel anything, anymore. And so I guess, this works all the time, on anyone, right?

Last week, I still had the ability to feel happy sad angry scared anxious. These days, I wonder if my insides are still intact. But I'm glad, really. The taste of carbonara today, I was enjoying it.