Frankly I'm extremely beat now and my eyelids weigh tonnes but I had a super late and heavy dinner so I can't possibly sleep now without some bedtime exercises done after digestion. The flight home was eight hours inclusive of an hour transit. But it felt really long. Did that mean I was looking forward to returning home? Even if there was any anticipation, I guess it diminished right after I touched down. The heat, the haze, the kind of world I am always wanting to escape from. Gosh. Thirty-five minutes before we landed, many thoughts were running through my head. I shall try to pen them down while I remember, not in any particular order, of course.
1. Japan is really, really a beautiful place. I like how Japanese are generally friendly and humble. They may lead very fast-paced lives but they are hardly angsty unlike most of us. It amazes me how they always bow very sincerely to others. Their humility to serve really inspires. The country itself has too many idealistic landscapes. I particularly like the rural areas we visited on the third day. I was reminded of Nobita and his friends' homes and then very soon I found myself in the world of Japanese cartoon serials. Even though I have only been to Tokyo, I have now an indelible impression of the country. I was initially very reluctant about this trip because I had never wanted to visit a place that's not Chinese-dominated. I had always thought it would be nicer to visit a place dominated by the same race as myself because I would find it friendlier. Apparently, I was VERY wrong. Despite the huge language barrier, I actually for once felt I didn't have to be skeptical about strangers. Japanese are helpful, friendly and sincere. I shall not generalise but at least my experience this time has made me believe that the Japanese culture is definitely one we ought to look up to.
2. Normally I don't see my mum 24/7 so during this trip I was actually observing our "dynamics". We didn't really have any big arguments but we basically disagreed on every little thing. She was uninterested in anything about me except for when I was getting a stable job and a boyfriend. I tried to hold my comments back but I was really tempted to disagree with her on every point she brought up and which I found ridiculous. I admit I could be in the wrong too, though. I am still finding the best way to communicate with her.
3. I was watching Eat Pray Love on my tablet during the flight home and I haven't managed to finish it. I was, however, awed. I felt it spoke to me, brutally but realistically. I probably can never find the kind of courage the protagonist has. But to me, each time I take a plane and get out of this place, it's always a chance for healing and the search for my identity. It's insulting though, that I had hardly come back enlightened. I only know it's not just luxury but also a release to leave this place. Release from what? I don't really know. I just find this place terribly scary. Yet the irony is that while I was in Japan I was spending ninety percent of my time there looking at items I could get for my friends. The matcha snacks excited me because I could get them for a friend whom I felt needed a lot of comfort food during this period. And then I realised, my friends have always been a priority. I am unable to explain how torn I am between emptying that space full of priorities and filling the other empty half with other priorities. See? Am I even making sense. I guess, this suppressed feeling has been aptly conveyed by Liz in the film. I shall finish the last quarter of the movie some time soon.
“But I miss him.”
“So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it. You’re just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you’ll be really alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she’s really alone. But here’s what you gotta understand, Groceries. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot – a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with the doorway? It will rush in – God will rush in – and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go.”
Last but not least, I'm still counting my blessings.
Let's pray for the people on board MH370.
Whether or not you have a religion, sometimes praying seems to be the only thing left to do.
1. Japan is really, really a beautiful place. I like how Japanese are generally friendly and humble. They may lead very fast-paced lives but they are hardly angsty unlike most of us. It amazes me how they always bow very sincerely to others. Their humility to serve really inspires. The country itself has too many idealistic landscapes. I particularly like the rural areas we visited on the third day. I was reminded of Nobita and his friends' homes and then very soon I found myself in the world of Japanese cartoon serials. Even though I have only been to Tokyo, I have now an indelible impression of the country. I was initially very reluctant about this trip because I had never wanted to visit a place that's not Chinese-dominated. I had always thought it would be nicer to visit a place dominated by the same race as myself because I would find it friendlier. Apparently, I was VERY wrong. Despite the huge language barrier, I actually for once felt I didn't have to be skeptical about strangers. Japanese are helpful, friendly and sincere. I shall not generalise but at least my experience this time has made me believe that the Japanese culture is definitely one we ought to look up to.
2. Normally I don't see my mum 24/7 so during this trip I was actually observing our "dynamics". We didn't really have any big arguments but we basically disagreed on every little thing. She was uninterested in anything about me except for when I was getting a stable job and a boyfriend. I tried to hold my comments back but I was really tempted to disagree with her on every point she brought up and which I found ridiculous. I admit I could be in the wrong too, though. I am still finding the best way to communicate with her.
3. I was watching Eat Pray Love on my tablet during the flight home and I haven't managed to finish it. I was, however, awed. I felt it spoke to me, brutally but realistically. I probably can never find the kind of courage the protagonist has. But to me, each time I take a plane and get out of this place, it's always a chance for healing and the search for my identity. It's insulting though, that I had hardly come back enlightened. I only know it's not just luxury but also a release to leave this place. Release from what? I don't really know. I just find this place terribly scary. Yet the irony is that while I was in Japan I was spending ninety percent of my time there looking at items I could get for my friends. The matcha snacks excited me because I could get them for a friend whom I felt needed a lot of comfort food during this period. And then I realised, my friends have always been a priority. I am unable to explain how torn I am between emptying that space full of priorities and filling the other empty half with other priorities. See? Am I even making sense. I guess, this suppressed feeling has been aptly conveyed by Liz in the film. I shall finish the last quarter of the movie some time soon.
“But I miss him.”
“So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it. You’re just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you’ll be really alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she’s really alone. But here’s what you gotta understand, Groceries. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot – a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with the doorway? It will rush in – God will rush in – and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go.”
Last but not least, I'm still counting my blessings.
Let's pray for the people on board MH370.
Whether or not you have a religion, sometimes praying seems to be the only thing left to do.
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