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保持清醒很重要


脑子里一直在想象一个场景。每次浮现, 我都问自己会怎么做。但我从来就没有答案。近来我竟然常在梦里复习这件事。梦里的我处理起来很简单。但醒来后我知道自己没法那么潇洒。最近人人都在说很久没有下雨了。其实我并没有注意到。我还是喜欢下雨, 但也许对我而言我心里的雨从没停过, 所以可能不会去留意外头是否下过雨。今天搭了旅途很长的巴士。一路上看到很多阿武的咖啡广告。他又回来了。那个感觉很好。天气很热。我去超市买了一罐啤酒, 想说反正小妹都回宿舍了, 家里只剩下我一个人, 那我就一个人在家里的一个角落买醉。付了钱, 我花了大概二十分钟步行回家。傍晚的太阳并不比较仁慈。踏进家门, 汗流夹背。但那感觉不错, 一路上想了很多。一切慢慢回到最初的时候。如果扣除中间的部分, 其实起点和终点根本没有任何差别。最多, 是多了道疤。于是我觉得保持清醒还是挺重要的 (而且根据德明的说法喝啤酒不会醉), 所以就把啤酒放一边, 不让自己太沉沦。

人不能无忧。最无奈的大概是有苦自己知。就算有可以分享的人, 也不知道如何启齿, 又或者害怕说了只会让自己更激动。难怪他们说沉默的人, 经历比任何人都多。也许这类人学会了将所有的苦吞下去。

三月了。真是不知不觉。
目前的困境, 难以言喻, 我没有办法解释有多难。我也知道外头有大把人面临更困难的事, 所以我不该埋怨。路怎样都得走下去。

今天算是开心。好久没有那么喜欢一部新港剧了。
想念迷恋马俊伟的日子!!!


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