life

8/12/2013

I met PT for breakfast today. We spent a good 2 hours in Xin Wang sharing my life stories which she listened to attentively. She is my all-time favourite friend because no matter what happens, she never judges me. 

I met Mic and YX to go to the National Museum for the TV 50th anniversary. It was an extremely short trip. We spent a much longer time in a cafe (I can't remember the name) where we vented our frustrations about hypocrites and weird people. I had liked that. Not that I had enjoyed speaking ill of people. I love how these two people are always of the same frequency as me. 

I sheltered a lady from the rain today. I like the rain and I also like to shelter people from the rain, thinking they probably won't like rainy days the way I do. She wished me a good day and I guess, I did have had a relatively nice one.

11/12/2013

I had sat in the family clinic for one and a half hours and there were still five people before me. Best friend appeared, drenched in perspiration, because he had come from RT. After which, I turned on my mobile data and received a whatsapp message from him saying, "You're not alone!" True enough, he was already sitting beside me. He bought me a Wolvie lego figurine at the provision shop next to the clinic and I really liked it. 

12/12/2013

I met D for dinner today. It was a very impromptu meeting that was planned after a random chat on whatsapp. He is one of those people who can always feel for me. Probably because we have gone through tough times together some time ago. We used to have this common aspiration of inspiring the young ones. But somehow, along the way I have slowly lost passion but he has never given up. We were near his house but he insisted on giving me a lift home and so he did. I don't know when we will meet again but I know, wherever I am and wherever he is, he will always be remembered and missed. 

I got home and received a parcel from YXi. I have sent countless parcels over the years, for I always enjoy doing that. Little did I know that I do enjoy the feeling of receiving one too. Maybe that is all that I ask for, from a friend I regard with sincere. 

13/12/2013

I had tea with J today. Dr. Ho joined us. He mentioned Mr. Yeo and things about him. I found myself holding back my tears as he spoke. So it is true, that it is impossible not to feel any tinge of pain whenever the name is brought up. I still miss this teacher cum friend, very much. And I thank Dr. Ho for the chat. It is nice to hear from someone as wise as him, especially since death is an issue I have been contemplating since Mr. Yeo's demise. 

J wrote me a Christmas card. It was a very long message in both Chinese and English and I really liked it. I always like handwritten messages because they comprise a lot of sincerity and effort. And it is especially heartwarming during times like this. If there is anything I could request for birthday next year, I would love a handwritten letter that includes the mention of one particular incident about me. I will need a lot of these to fall back on if my memory ever starts deteriorating. 

My world spun a little yesterday. Today, the right temple, or somewhere near, throbbed, very sharply. It is hard not to have a premonition at this rate. And fear, of course. Good or bad, I have never quite appreciated surprises, because I never know how to cope with them or simply, how to react to them. My weekly routine of wide smiles during lessons often belied my recent mood, one that is of dread, utmost pessimism and weariness. If you can even call all these moods. 

Somehow, while some things get worse by the days, some others are getting better. Like how I am coping better with heartaches, and sometimes headaches. Judgments, accusations and misunderstandings, I am beginning to grapple too. 

For now, such is life.