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before dozing off...

Somehow, I just never felt this tired in my entire quarter-life. It is like, so unprecedented. The past one week was nothing but mad rush everyday. Every day. Catching forty winks becomes too much a luxury and I definitely can no longer afford it. Don't be surprised if you find that I have now a flair for sleeping while standing. I really believe I am getting it. Life has pretty much become a routine. In the day I have my soyamilk for breakfast all alone in that office where they are always more hostile than friendly colleagues. And then after six hours of lessons will be another two to three hours of lessons at a different setting. Now that explains the flu, the throat swells, the nosebleeding, the gastric, the cramps. The exhaustion, especially. To rub salt into the wound, there is torment for the mind. I can't remember the last time I had lost something so precious. Perhaps I am only in the midst now, but really, it doesn't make too much a difference. If I have to recall, the last time is likely those times when I could still call myself a teen. I have been very careful with my things. Or at least I always try my best to be. To quote Mr. SYX, the phase is tough. I ever wondered if 'tough' was an understatement. I felt it was so painful it could kill me. Maybe the fatal part is not knowing what to do. But he summed things up so cruelly and acutely I could hardly refute. Life goes on. Uh huh? It took me merely three seconds to understand but in all honesty, I don't have the slightest idea how long it will take me to abide by it. So, I figured. That journey ahead is still so long, I can only proceed.

But I will continue to be grateful. Today, to the people who have loved me since the time I knew them in 2010. They have spent so much time on the picnic food and even asked me not to bring any because I said I was tired from work. Can't love them more.
And to the best friend who met me at 9 p.m. just for a crazy plate of rice that we jolly well knew would make us fat. Nonetheless, I needed that. Really.
 
With an extremely worn out mind, I am going to crash now.

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I'll never understand.

Some people, you try to break them before you build them. Some people, you are only remembered by them when they need your help. Some people, you spend time trying to change them only to realise you were never someone who could impact their lives. Some people, they hurt you so much but you know, they are just not worth it. So, don't bother. ASPIRE 2010 was a screwed yet another learning experience for me this time. I'd really like to thank my fellow peers for going through shit with me. And thank goodness that I believe in miracles. You never know what happens until the last minute, really. I never felt so shagged, and devastated about people.

All the small things.

So blonde Neo came with a packet of sushi and my chrysanthemum tea and Mr. Bean's pancakes. We continued to gorge ourselves with cones (actually just 2) of Cornetto which I bought to reward myself after a long time of not having eaten ice cream. We studied and also watched The Family Court. I really feel sad for AhWU that everyones hates his Leshan role but I guess he's right that actors and actresses like to see audiences' reactions towards their acting. What a breakthrough for him! Had supper with Shirl and Eh Chris! at somewhere nearby. Continued to study with Angie and we (or rather I) had a bad night because she was coughing quite badly. Blonde Neo I tell you, you better start drinking bottles of water when you get home today. NO MORE CHIPS!!! I'm watching you.... So anyway, in the morning we had Mac breakfast and Angie FINALLY invited me to her house wheeeeeeeee. Happening hor? Meeting the climates (Auntie Rainbow, Sunshine boy and Rain) later to celebrate mid-aut...