The day was more bad than good. At least I couldn't think of anything worth rejoicing. The surge to break down was pretty strong (and I think was further triggered by the loss of my student card which I was happy to keep as memento) but as always, I had managed to keep it at bay. Some would say that is because I always focus on the negative not the positive. But isn't that natural of humans? You don't really notice the other parts of a white paper with a big black blot on it, do you? I won't say I am a white paper with a splotch. I am... Just a piece of white paper. I thought at the end of university that paper would be at least half a beautifully painted picture. But now, I am absolutely apprehensive. My failure at interviews or even just being shortlisted made me extremely doubtful of myself. I can't write nor speak well. I can't act. I can't do sciences. I have zero knowledge of Econs, even the basics. So... What am I good at?
I would love to fill that paper with bright colours but now I am more afraid I will only be vandalic.
Last of all, I am upset with myself for binging today because I am upset.
Same lah...I can't sing, I don't know how to play any instrument except recorder, I can't act, I can't draw... But at least we can study? To make it to uni is a proof that we can study? It's hard to find jobs now...it's ok, you'll eventually find a job! You'll stand a high chance to find a job in SPH or MOE(I know you don't want)!
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