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Rejection and dejection.

It's 1 a.m. and I'm lying in bed, trying to think about myself, my life, and the people around me.
My mum has gone overseas. Truth be told, I'm actually feeling a little relieved. She's been putting tremendous pressure on me and for the longest time I have been gasping for air. I am extremely certain my siblings are feeling the same way. My Christian sisters especially. I guess, that is why I am really going to cherish these remaining four days.

I met Chris today. We often saw each other around on campus but we have drifted alot since he went up to year 2. I think we are different now. We no longer share things the way we could. Once in a while a sense of unfamiliarity, I won't say awkwardness, intervened our interaction. We still laughed at each other's jokes like old times but things were just different. I guess that's how people drift apart? I joked about how he never asked to meet me these 1.5 years and he laughed that we would meet every 1.5 years from now on. I believe we will. And I can only hope that we can still chat and laugh like today the next time we meet.

It's Monday.
These days I'm scared of Mondays the way I do Saturdays. It's mental torment to scroll down that list every week. I know, though, that my fear is about to end. Whatever the result, I believe it is going to have a huge impact on my life. I have been wondering if I am mentally prepared for whatever comes. But I think I cannot be more prepared anyway. Maybe I'll act accordingly when the time comes.

Well, till then.

Have a great week ahead.

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study study study? went to library with chris and clement.. time was gang gang hao.. we reached e traffic light at e same time..lols.. went to fourth floor and took so long to find a place to sit..all thanks to chris..so fussy abt where to sit..lols.. they did math..i did history and..chinese?..yea..as if..jus wrote e title for my compo..content was blank..keke.. we did for like 1 to 2 hours plus den went to makan.. i darn thirsty kies..lols.. deciding where to go..ljs..kfc..or mac..took so long..thanks to those 2 indecisive guys..lols..=x.. so in end..went to hawker centre.. win liao lor..reached dere le they stil decided which hawker centre to go..diaoz.. den we decided le..they wanted to decided where to sit.. changed seats 2times siarh..lols.. so they ate..i played with chris hp..they ate so loudly thou..=x..contributing to e noise pollution..=//..heh.. den went to 7-11..bought many drinks and chocs and sweets.. and chris wanted to try twix..cos i kept saying is niceyy..lols.. plus...

I'll never understand.

Some people, you try to break them before you build them. Some people, you are only remembered by them when they need your help. Some people, you spend time trying to change them only to realise you were never someone who could impact their lives. Some people, they hurt you so much but you know, they are just not worth it. So, don't bother. ASPIRE 2010 was a screwed yet another learning experience for me this time. I'd really like to thank my fellow peers for going through shit with me. And thank goodness that I believe in miracles. You never know what happens until the last minute, really. I never felt so shagged, and devastated about people.

All the small things.

So blonde Neo came with a packet of sushi and my chrysanthemum tea and Mr. Bean's pancakes. We continued to gorge ourselves with cones (actually just 2) of Cornetto which I bought to reward myself after a long time of not having eaten ice cream. We studied and also watched The Family Court. I really feel sad for AhWU that everyones hates his Leshan role but I guess he's right that actors and actresses like to see audiences' reactions towards their acting. What a breakthrough for him! Had supper with Shirl and Eh Chris! at somewhere nearby. Continued to study with Angie and we (or rather I) had a bad night because she was coughing quite badly. Blonde Neo I tell you, you better start drinking bottles of water when you get home today. NO MORE CHIPS!!! I'm watching you.... So anyway, in the morning we had Mac breakfast and Angie FINALLY invited me to her house wheeeeeeeee. Happening hor? Meeting the climates (Auntie Rainbow, Sunshine boy and Rain) later to celebrate mid-aut...