似乎不管是男人还是女人，我们都不完全算是自相矛盾的动物。有的时候，就真的只是不知道自己想干嘛。也许有那么一刻，你想这样。但到了下一刻，你又想那样。也许脑子里要思考的东西太多，我们并不是每一次都可以把每样东西清清楚楚地分开来思考。
也因为这样，我们才会一下说一，一下说二，在不同的选择之间徘徊不定。说穿了，我们不过是在寻找一份安全感，一份可以牢牢抓紧的实在感。
This CNY, I realised many things. I realised I have always envied families who go out as a whole for CNY visiting, or those who invite many relatives and friends over. I realised I am very afraid of the coming of CNY because CNY simply means watching movies and slacking at home for me. I love to watch movies, there is no doubt about that. Perhaps I just don't appreciate the latter because there is so much to face head-on. I hate the silence or otherwise awful hurlings at the dining table. I hate how I need to pretend to be hospitable to people I dislike. This year, I hid in my room when people I did not feel comfortable with came, then I was accused of being stubborn and impolite. Sometimes I really wonder if being myself is of imperative or being polite is. Whichever the case, I want to confess that I really feel tired and unhappy this CNY. The worst is that I feel that no one can understand because everyone I tried to rant this to tells me I should go home because it is CNY after...
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