下了一天的雨，风还在刮。冷冷的天气，一个人独自在家里吃着火锅，感觉挺不错的。一个人的好处就是不用找话题聊，也不用顾及到对方。虽然这不一定是最后的结局，但至少到目前为止 是最舒服的生活方式。最近听到这么一句话：孤单是心里没有人而没有人陪，寂寞是心里有人却没有人陪。此刻的我应该属于前者。因为一个人的时候，我想找的人是身边的朋友。而在这个大家都到外国度假时候，我总是找不到人陪。我就是孤单。但孤单也无所谓，因为孤单的人没有太多的牵挂，寂寞的人才有。不知不觉，心里空白的地方原来老早就已经填补了。填补的是对前事的倦意，但也有对生活的逐渐热爱和追求。人是很可笑的东西，总是不知道自己就是烦恼的根源。我想我应该学习正视这一点，开始把倦意减到最低，把对生活的热忱升华到另一个境界。说得容易，要做呢，就要鞭策自己了。
This CNY, I realised many things. I realised I have always envied families who go out as a whole for CNY visiting, or those who invite many relatives and friends over. I realised I am very afraid of the coming of CNY because CNY simply means watching movies and slacking at home for me. I love to watch movies, there is no doubt about that. Perhaps I just don't appreciate the latter because there is so much to face head-on. I hate the silence or otherwise awful hurlings at the dining table. I hate how I need to pretend to be hospitable to people I dislike. This year, I hid in my room when people I did not feel comfortable with came, then I was accused of being stubborn and impolite. Sometimes I really wonder if being myself is of imperative or being polite is. Whichever the case, I want to confess that I really feel tired and unhappy this CNY. The worst is that I feel that no one can understand because everyone I tried to rant this to tells me I should go home because it is CNY after...
Comments
Post a Comment