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Sigh.

They say, it is ok to not know what you want, but you got to know what you do not want. Perhaps that is why I am wallowing in self-pity now, racking my brains for I have no idea what lies ahead. There have been people asking me about my commencement but I am in too awkward a position to give a definite answer. While I would really love to look for a job now lest I am not qualified for the fourth year, I am actually a little uncertain about it because it might be a waste of time and effort if I can qualify, even if by sheer luck. On the other hand, I really want to do something constructive during this summer break but somehow nothing seems to pass off as being constructive. The frequency of hanging around outside has to be controlled because there are always monetary concerns at the end of the day. And as always, just how much do I look forward to the start of school again because it is always better to be busy and occupied than to have nothing to do at home. And when I am too free, I start to think about my directions in life and there, I get lost and confused. Sure, I hate this feeling very much.

Sigh.

Comments

  1. wenMay 8, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    I'm sure we'll still see you and YR in year 4. Yes, I really blame myself for rotting and wasting electricity at home, but this is our last long holidays. So enjoy it ok!

    ReplyDelete
  2. janMay 9, 2012 at 6:24 AM

    maybe you can draw comfort from the fact that you will only be free till the end of may and after that you will be occupied. hence, these three weeks won't seem like a long break.

    ReplyDelete
  3. GLMay 9, 2012 at 9:14 AM

    Wen: Haha yeah I think I ought to enjoy it as much as I can too! You enjoy too! :)

    Jan: Yeah trying to think along that line now! Thank you! :)

    ReplyDelete

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