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Sigh.

They say, it is ok to not know what you want, but you got to know what you do not want. Perhaps that is why I am wallowing in self-pity now, racking my brains for I have no idea what lies ahead. There have been people asking me about my commencement but I am in too awkward a position to give a definite answer. While I would really love to look for a job now lest I am not qualified for the fourth year, I am actually a little uncertain about it because it might be a waste of time and effort if I can qualify, even if by sheer luck. On the other hand, I really want to do something constructive during this summer break but somehow nothing seems to pass off as being constructive. The frequency of hanging around outside has to be controlled because there are always monetary concerns at the end of the day. And as always, just how much do I look forward to the start of school again because it is always better to be busy and occupied than to have nothing to do at home. And when I am too free, I start to think about my directions in life and there, I get lost and confused. Sure, I hate this feeling very much.

Sigh.

Comments

  1. I'm sure we'll still see you and YR in year 4. Yes, I really blame myself for rotting and wasting electricity at home, but this is our last long holidays. So enjoy it ok!

    ReplyDelete
  2. maybe you can draw comfort from the fact that you will only be free till the end of may and after that you will be occupied. hence, these three weeks won't seem like a long break.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wen: Haha yeah I think I ought to enjoy it as much as I can too! You enjoy too! :)

    Jan: Yeah trying to think along that line now! Thank you! :)

    ReplyDelete

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All the small things.

So blonde Neo came with a packet of sushi and my chrysanthemum tea and Mr. Bean's pancakes. We continued to gorge ourselves with cones (actually just 2) of Cornetto which I bought to reward myself after a long time of not having eaten ice cream. We studied and also watched The Family Court. I really feel sad for AhWU that everyones hates his Leshan role but I guess he's right that actors and actresses like to see audiences' reactions towards their acting. What a breakthrough for him! Had supper with Shirl and Eh Chris! at somewhere nearby. Continued to study with Angie and we (or rather I) had a bad night because she was coughing quite badly. Blonde Neo I tell you, you better start drinking bottles of water when you get home today. NO MORE CHIPS!!! I'm watching you.... So anyway, in the morning we had Mac breakfast and Angie FINALLY invited me to her house wheeeeeeeee. Happening hor? Meeting the climates (Auntie Rainbow, Sunshine boy and Rain) later to celebrate mid-aut...