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On self,

After meeting a friend today, I kept wondering, have I been a dutiful friend? Can a friend ever be dutiful? If yes, then I think I haven't been one, and actually I don't really know how to be one. But I do wish I had tried harder. Could it all have been my skeptism that is holding me back in being nicer to people around me? I think I would really love to chuck this bugging skeptism aside and start to trust, yet the fear of being deceived often engulfs me. I remember at the start of this year I made a new year resolution which is to be a better friend. I am not sure if I have achieved that because it is up to my friends and not myself to judge. But if anyone were to ask me if I myself think that I have fulfilled this resolution, I would say I have tried very hard this year to be nicer to my friends but I have not been the nicest that I could have been and I do not think that I have fulfilled what I resolved to do.

I think I will keep trying.

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I'll never understand.

Some people, you try to break them before you build them. Some people, you are only remembered by them when they need your help. Some people, you spend time trying to change them only to realise you were never someone who could impact their lives. Some people, they hurt you so much but you know, they are just not worth it. So, don't bother. ASPIRE 2010 was a screwed yet another learning experience for me this time. I'd really like to thank my fellow peers for going through shit with me. And thank goodness that I believe in miracles. You never know what happens until the last minute, really. I never felt so shagged, and devastated about people.

All the small things.

So blonde Neo came with a packet of sushi and my chrysanthemum tea and Mr. Bean's pancakes. We continued to gorge ourselves with cones (actually just 2) of Cornetto which I bought to reward myself after a long time of not having eaten ice cream. We studied and also watched The Family Court. I really feel sad for AhWU that everyones hates his Leshan role but I guess he's right that actors and actresses like to see audiences' reactions towards their acting. What a breakthrough for him! Had supper with Shirl and Eh Chris! at somewhere nearby. Continued to study with Angie and we (or rather I) had a bad night because she was coughing quite badly. Blonde Neo I tell you, you better start drinking bottles of water when you get home today. NO MORE CHIPS!!! I'm watching you.... So anyway, in the morning we had Mac breakfast and Angie FINALLY invited me to her house wheeeeeeeee. Happening hor? Meeting the climates (Auntie Rainbow, Sunshine boy and Rain) later to celebrate mid-aut...