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On self,

After meeting a friend today, I kept wondering, have I been a dutiful friend? Can a friend ever be dutiful? If yes, then I think I haven't been one, and actually I don't really know how to be one. But I do wish I had tried harder. Could it all have been my skeptism that is holding me back in being nicer to people around me? I think I would really love to chuck this bugging skeptism aside and start to trust, yet the fear of being deceived often engulfs me. I remember at the start of this year I made a new year resolution which is to be a better friend. I am not sure if I have achieved that because it is up to my friends and not myself to judge. But if anyone were to ask me if I myself think that I have fulfilled this resolution, I would say I have tried very hard this year to be nicer to my friends but I have not been the nicest that I could have been and I do not think that I have fulfilled what I resolved to do.

I think I will keep trying.

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