Those days.

After the movie today, I guess it was inevitable for me to think about the past. I did not dwell, I merely thought about it, and perhaps through it. I logged onto Facebook and I saw Sam online. I had the sudden urge to talk to him and so we had this little conversation.

Me: hey

Sam: heya

Me: just want to tell you that i watched a movie today, and i thought of you. hope you are doing great. take care! :)

Sam: hahaha omg. i did the same. guess what i watched

Me: chinese movie?

Sam: nope. we caught it together before i think. if im not wrong. time traveller's wife

(And I only just mentioned this movie to Hoe Ping today...)

..............................

Sam: how're you doing?

Me: have been slacking like mad. exam next week, and i just went to catch a movie. oh well

Sam: well..life is short. haha. i hope you're doing great btw

Me: i sure am. life couldnt have been better;) today's movie i caught was on schoolday crush. i recall the old days when i was so silly. well we all have lost our youth

Sam: thats great to hear :) speaking of which.. i have tons of regrets. i guess now that we're older, we tend to look back and realise that we could have done things.. better.

Me: im sure. guess every lesson comes with regret

Sam: and thats how we grow i guess. time flies huh. we're 21 now. and you're turning 22 soon in 2 mths time.

Me: I don't look forward man.

Sam:

hey.. anyway, i dont really know how to put this.. but i wanna apologise.

for having things to be so awkward between us. i hope you don't mind me talking about this.

thank you.. and sorry.

i guess im just glad we're still even talking right now

Me: i think i never wanted to lose a friend over something so silly

Sam: im really really glad that we're talking about this now. been wanting to talk to you about this.. but was afraid that i'd only make things worse or something

Me: after watching the movie today, i think i ought to thank you because you were around in my college days. although i did stupid things like throwing candies into your bag, intentionally taking the path you would take to bump into you etc etc, i think all these silly things are worth looking back on

Sam: im flattered you know. that someone would actually do all that for me

Me: TOO BAD. those happened when we were still youthful!

Sam: gees, the detriments of growing up.

Last time we could chat the whole day and I would still find it too short. Today, I have no idea why I felt our conversation lasted so long. When he said he wanted to apologise, I very much wanted to cry right before my laptop screen. Because I have waited to hear this from him for so long. Much as I had pretended for as long as I could, as a matter of fact, I had wanted very badly for him to apologise. Not because an apology could heal all the pain I had once suffered, not because I felt he was in the wrong, but because I felt it would mean that he knew I was hurt, and an apology would tell me that he still cares about how I feel.

Suddenly I feel so tired. Like I have walked an extremely long distance with a burden on my shoulder, and now, I can put it down and have a good rest. For I have finally arrived at my destination. It took me so long.