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Bleak.

This sense of emptiness and loss always presents itself right after the last paper. Maybe it is slightly stronger than any other semesters because I have this bugging feeling that next semester might very well be my last one and it is coming in a month's time. I thought that I had always looked forward to working life because I seriously am not cut out to be a student. Then I realised I actually prefer school because my future still seems so bleak and I have absolutely no idea what to expect once I step out of school. While I think that I do not want to be bound by a bond like some of my friends, I actually do envy them that they have at least secured a job the moment they are done with school. This feeling of inferiority sucks especially when I always think that it is not nice to envy others, and now I cannot practise what I preach. I think I am just waiting for a miracle to happen.

That aside, I just want to say that studying my notes yesterday really made me realise that the study group that my friends (Mic YiRong Lan Hua Lily Yan Xing and sometimes Wen Jie too) and I formed was really effective. I think I have never understood readings so well before this (at least much better than before). And also the group of friends (Yanli Jiayi Janvin Geng Jie) that I studied with every single day for 2 weeks. It has been very motivating and fun to study with you all. This semester made me realise that I really have uni friends! Thank you people.

And then within this short break, I hope to finish at least 2 novels, 2 movies, pack my room, enjoy Christmas, visit Clarke Quay, earn some income and plan for next semester.

Such is life.

Comments

  1. YanliNovember 29, 2011 at 4:56 PM

    人就是這樣，會互相羨慕。
    I envy you too, for havin the freedom to embark on any road you want. Whether the scenary on the road is beautiful, is subjective. And do believe in taking charge and making ur road bloom with flowers :) jiayou! This has been my greatest semester thus far, and it's all thanks to you :D

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  2. AnonymousNovember 29, 2011 at 6:52 PM

    Such is life. Hehehe. Everybody have their own path to take and definitely there would be a road for them. :) dont worry u will have a good road infront of u and i will probably find mine 5 years later, that is if the world havent end. Haha!
    Have a good & fun holiday GL. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wen JieNovember 29, 2011 at 10:27 PM

    lol 9daysofescapism why would you find yours only 5 years later. Teaching's a dead end?

    Well Guo Lian, don't think too much. 船到桥头自然直。But in ytd's movie, when Shen Jiayi said “从国中到高中，我就只会念书，却还是考不好”，感触真的很深...17年以来，除了拼成绩外，都不知道做了什么...

    ReplyDelete
  4. JanNovember 30, 2011 at 6:09 AM

    Thank you for being such a nice friend throughout this semester! I certainly enjoyed spending time with you and revising for the exams was really much more fun with you and the rest around. Anyway, I think I understand your feeling of loss and emptiness, since school is out and you don't get to see your friends so often. But we can still meet up regularly! Enjoy your holidays! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. GLNovember 30, 2011 at 8:17 AM

    Thanks for all the words of encouragement, people! They mean a lot ;)

    ReplyDelete

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