Wednesdays are always full of laughter. Today was not particularly different from any other Wednesdays, except that I ended school with much negative feelings.
Other things aside, I think I am really not cut out to be a student. I almost could not understand a single concept taught in class today and this really discouraged me a lot. I really try very hard to catch up but it is as if the finishing line is constantly being brought further away from where it should be. Thing is, I see other people getting nearer to that line but I am hardly close. Actually I ask for very simple pleasures in life. I just want to be someone who makes the people around me happy. Because that makes me happy. I do not want a degree or anything for that matter. But of course, I know making people happy is not something that will suffice in life (some may think that is merely the job of a clown), at least to my mum it is not. And so, I have to continue gritting my teeth and carry on with what I have studied halfway.
Oh and by the way, I think I will start learning how to crack less offending jokes from now on. I need to reflect on myself and on my words, seriously.
On my way home, I listened to this song which has been in my mp3 for the longest time but it struck me that I only managed to relate to the lyrics today. It aptly describes my feeling of ambivalence today.
But I will continue to try, because that was what I said I would do from the start.
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