Yes, in the blink of an eye again, school is going to start tomorrow. Been feeling a bit disappointed with myself for not having accomplished much during this three-month summer break. Other than the holiday trip with Mic and Lan Hua (which I really wished could be longer), I worked at the Singapore Book Fair, Mediacorp News Hotline and a daycare centre. I gave tuition almost everyday. Nevertheless, I think the money I've earned from doing all these jobs is still very little, still a distance away from my goal. I would say I did not enjoy this break a lot, rather, I managed my time very badly. I only managed to finish reading 2 books. Yet, it was considerably a fruitful holiday still because I've met up with a lot of people whom I previously thought I was probably going to lose touch with. Also, I think I made a bunch of very interesting friends (at Maha Yuyi especially) who brought me a lot of laughter this holiday. Right, not to forget, I think this semester is going to be most fun because I'm once again going to be schoolmates with my good friends, the guys my age who are finally coming back to school after having served the army. I'm seriously happy about this.
This CNY, I realised many things. I realised I have always envied families who go out as a whole for CNY visiting, or those who invite many relatives and friends over. I realised I am very afraid of the coming of CNY because CNY simply means watching movies and slacking at home for me. I love to watch movies, there is no doubt about that. Perhaps I just don't appreciate the latter because there is so much to face head-on. I hate the silence or otherwise awful hurlings at the dining table. I hate how I need to pretend to be hospitable to people I dislike. This year, I hid in my room when people I did not feel comfortable with came, then I was accused of being stubborn and impolite. Sometimes I really wonder if being myself is of imperative or being polite is. Whichever the case, I want to confess that I really feel tired and unhappy this CNY. The worst is that I feel that no one can understand because everyone I tried to rant this to tells me I should go home because it is CNY after...
Comments
Post a Comment