Other than trying to be a good friend to my good friends, I hope to be a good daughter too. I've always found it hard to be my mum's filial daughter. Don't ask me why, I don't know how to put that in words. So anyway, I woke up and went for breakfast with my mum. This is something that has not happened for ages because I always can't drag myself out of bed on a Saturday morning. After breakie, I went on my own to look for XiaoWei's present and finally I found it. I got her a polaroid camera because she has always wanted a camera to capture beautiful moments but I figured I couldn't afford a digital one for her so I got her an instant one. I guess I really want to make her 21st a special one, at least I want to try. So many things have happened in between and I just want to make up for what I have done wrong last time. I believe my choice will not be a wrong one. Everyone should be warranted a second go at the chance they lost, right?
This CNY, I realised many things. I realised I have always envied families who go out as a whole for CNY visiting, or those who invite many relatives and friends over. I realised I am very afraid of the coming of CNY because CNY simply means watching movies and slacking at home for me. I love to watch movies, there is no doubt about that. Perhaps I just don't appreciate the latter because there is so much to face head-on. I hate the silence or otherwise awful hurlings at the dining table. I hate how I need to pretend to be hospitable to people I dislike. This year, I hid in my room when people I did not feel comfortable with came, then I was accused of being stubborn and impolite. Sometimes I really wonder if being myself is of imperative or being polite is. Whichever the case, I want to confess that I really feel tired and unhappy this CNY. The worst is that I feel that no one can understand because everyone I tried to rant this to tells me I should go home because it is CNY after...
i believe ur sincerity will touch her~~ even if it doesnt, dont be dejected, at least u are true
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