Skip to main content

Battered.

Dinner with the girls last night. They were very nice, treated me to dinner and gave me birthday presents which they shouldn't have spent on. It was funny how some of them didn't know that I never liked birthday cakes and they bought one. Appreciate much still :)

Alumni meeting was stressful and I just couldn't bring my point across even though I very much wanted to. Events for the year are lining up and I wonder where to get the passion and motivation to do all these.

I fulfilled my task which I had in mind for 3 years. That moment was... I don't know. I was never mentally prepared for that moment and it just sprang on me and hit me so hard. If not for Watermelon's presence, I definitely would have collapsed. Maybe I just wasn't ready to take this, not even after 1 year and a month's time. The strong surge of inferiority was so overwhelming I thought I could just let my legs bring me somewhere. I should have seen this coming, but I didn't. Keeping my words to a promise I made 3 years back and risk digging out something which I've buried deep down. I'm sorry I was rude, but I couldn't bring myself to fake a smile. I'm sorry I stole a second glance, because it was that face I've almost forgotten.

Will everything start from zero again?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

On CNY

This CNY, I realised many things. I realised I have always envied families who go out as a whole for CNY visiting, or those who invite many relatives and friends over. I realised I am very afraid of the coming of CNY because CNY simply means watching movies and slacking at home for me. I love to watch movies, there is no doubt about that. Perhaps I just don't appreciate the latter because there is so much to face head-on. I hate the silence or otherwise awful hurlings at the dining table. I hate how I need to pretend to be hospitable to people I dislike. This year, I hid in my room when people I did not feel comfortable with came, then I was accused of being stubborn and impolite. Sometimes I really wonder if being myself is of imperative or being polite is. Whichever the case, I want to confess that I really feel tired and unhappy this CNY. The worst is that I feel that no one can understand because everyone I tried to rant this to tells me I should go home because it is CNY after...
7 comments
Read more

On campus,

I think even if I were to leave after this semester, I would probably leave with the fondest memories. What more can I ask for? On a side note, I hope and I choose to believe that my true friends will understand, and so I do not want to explain. Today is my best friend's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BF! I know you know I am damn stubborn and rebellious and whiny and spoiled and noisy and choosy but you always compromise with me and give in to me in every way you can. Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! I hope you will always be happy because you deserve to be. I hope you will gamble less so that you can treat me food more often. I hope you will be blessed because you are special :) I know I am such a sweet best friend! 加油了GL，不要再蹉跎歲月了…
2 comments
Read more