依然有许多怀念你的歌。但是，尽管我再怎么努力，已经无法拼凑出你的模样。这应该是件好事吧？我曾经很希望快点忘掉你长什么样子，但是现在对你的记忆慢慢模糊，我又有些不舍。我心中仍然有很多疑问，但或许故事的结局真的不是掌握在作者的笔中，而是读者的心中。每个人都有自己向往的那个结局。也许得不到回答也不失为一件美事，因为我可以幻想一个美好的结局。如果有一天在街上碰到你，我会不会认出你来？我希望不会。因为我的心现在是麻木的，却是麻木的好。总比唤起任何伤痛的好。快一年了，时间真的飞逝得很快。又或者流逝的不是时间，是我？故事早结束了，而我偶尔还是会回味一下一些桥段，甚至期盼一个续集。这个想法真的很傻，有些故事只能有一个结局，就像故事里的人死了不能复活一样。幸好我这一路来只是痛得麻木了，没有死去。这近一年来，我是有讨厌你。但我相信你仍是我认识的那个好人。所以，我还是希望你快乐。
This CNY, I realised many things. I realised I have always envied families who go out as a whole for CNY visiting, or those who invite many relatives and friends over. I realised I am very afraid of the coming of CNY because CNY simply means watching movies and slacking at home for me. I love to watch movies, there is no doubt about that. Perhaps I just don't appreciate the latter because there is so much to face head-on. I hate the silence or otherwise awful hurlings at the dining table. I hate how I need to pretend to be hospitable to people I dislike. This year, I hid in my room when people I did not feel comfortable with came, then I was accused of being stubborn and impolite. Sometimes I really wonder if being myself is of imperative or being polite is. Whichever the case, I want to confess that I really feel tired and unhappy this CNY. The worst is that I feel that no one can understand because everyone I tried to rant this to tells me I should go home because it is CNY after...
Comments
Post a Comment