Life is so full of controversies I don't know what to think anymore. I think I am a lucky person today? Not that the Math paper was a breeze but because my 11:11 wish came true. I must be mad. And because it came true I dare not wish at 11:11 anymore next time. Because I will only become greedier. Because that is human nature (even if you say I'm generalising). The prospects of a wish coming true at 11:11 are scary because it never took place since forever. I'm sorry I think I can't give as much as I did before, anymore. Maybe it's good. Maybe I don't even know what I'm thinking or doing.
This CNY, I realised many things. I realised I have always envied families who go out as a whole for CNY visiting, or those who invite many relatives and friends over. I realised I am very afraid of the coming of CNY because CNY simply means watching movies and slacking at home for me. I love to watch movies, there is no doubt about that. Perhaps I just don't appreciate the latter because there is so much to face head-on. I hate the silence or otherwise awful hurlings at the dining table. I hate how I need to pretend to be hospitable to people I dislike. This year, I hid in my room when people I did not feel comfortable with came, then I was accused of being stubborn and impolite. Sometimes I really wonder if being myself is of imperative or being polite is. Whichever the case, I want to confess that I really feel tired and unhappy this CNY. The worst is that I feel that no one can understand because everyone I tried to rant this to tells me I should go home because it is CNY after...
dream on and ur dream might come true.. lolx
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