兜兜转转，我还是一直回到原点。我相信我不能放下的不是你，而是整件事。我一直觉得我自己才是受害者，但也许并不是这样。也许只是我不能够很理智地看待这件事。但我也希望你们能够明白我为什么不能够理智。我只是个很普通很普通的人，我会生气，会难过。我现在不能原谅，是因为我还不能明白。我不能明白你为什么可以这样对我，这样伤害我。可能有一天我会开窍，会明白，所以才会原谅。但那一天到来之前，我都不能原谅你。我不会恨你，但是我不想看见你。我也很想看见自己关心的人真正快乐，分享他的幸福。但目前我还办不到。
This CNY, I realised many things. I realised I have always envied families who go out as a whole for CNY visiting, or those who invite many relatives and friends over. I realised I am very afraid of the coming of CNY because CNY simply means watching movies and slacking at home for me. I love to watch movies, there is no doubt about that. Perhaps I just don't appreciate the latter because there is so much to face head-on. I hate the silence or otherwise awful hurlings at the dining table. I hate how I need to pretend to be hospitable to people I dislike. This year, I hid in my room when people I did not feel comfortable with came, then I was accused of being stubborn and impolite. Sometimes I really wonder if being myself is of imperative or being polite is. Whichever the case, I want to confess that I really feel tired and unhappy this CNY. The worst is that I feel that no one can understand because everyone I tried to rant this to tells me I should go home because it is CNY after...
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