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只因为你曾说 Everything will be ok.



卖花的总是说玫瑰代表爱情。那它为什么这么容易枯萎?


更频密的沟通让我感觉到更遥远的距离。仿佛已经渐渐得到启示,明白这一切并没有想象中的完美,或者是伤痛。也许一开始,多一些交流并不代表多一些了解。相反的,这甚至意味着疏远和领悟。
我是不是已经麻木了?还是从头到尾我根本就不清楚自己想要的到底是什么?我真的不晓得。
尽管我每天都想,每分每秒都在不停地想,但那感觉好像已经慢慢淡化,淡得很不是滋味。这应该没有谁对谁错,而是时间的力量都被我们低估了。“时间能冲淡一切。”原来是真的。坚持、容忍、等待,我都做了。甚至之前总挂在嘴边的“放弃”也试了好几遍,但最终还是告诉自己要撑过去。谁知撑着撑着,撑到麻了、累了。
就因为大家都对我那么有信心,有期望,我更没有勇气辜负身边的人。失败的痛苦我能够淡忘,但令人失望的痛苦是我承受不了的。
两个星期的期盼一天天地蜕变,从期待到紧张,到焦急,不自在、害怕、失落。这会不会从来不是件好事?其中一人的缺席会不会让这个没有完结篇的故事显得更难忘、更美丽?如果两人的存在代表着为故事画上句号,那我宁愿就此说再见,说不定这悬念还能让我留下想象的空间。至少想象是无止境的,可以把不快乐的可能性都丢在一旁。

我知道我的顾虑很多。但我很难控制自己不去想。叫我不去想,好像是在叫我不去面对自己的感觉。我办不到。我逃避了这么久,已经走投无路了。我想要面对、休息,喘口气。再跑的话,我就真的会迷失方向,不知道前面的路还应该怎么走。

I guess no one will really comprehend this post. It's okay. Just very sudden and genuine thoughts which I believe have disturbed me for some time and I never had the courage to face them.



Although we have no shared memories...

Comments

  1. 玫瑰不代表爱情,它代表浪漫。花枯萎,浪漫没有了,是有点可惜。。。但爱情仍存在。

    如果是真正的爱,就不会去计较花已枯死了没。。因为它看起来都会一样的迷人,美丽。

    (contrary to your belief, 我看得懂你在写什么 :D)

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