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Are we running away or what.

Sometimes I really know. I guess we just want to pretend, because only that will save all of us some unnecessary awkwardness.
Many a times I tell myself I must learn to be a more sensitive friend, at least one who spares a thought for my friends' feelings, but my selfishness tends to get the better of me when I'm not conscious of it. Okay, nope, I'm not trying to defend myself by saying that. I know my attitude really sucks, especially when things come up and ruin my mood. I'm truly sorry each time I throw tantrums and start being crude. And I promise I don't like to bottle things up too. The only reasons why I don't like to thrash things out are because I will either make things worse by saying the wrong things and we might all just end up arguing over who is right and wrong. I prefer to sort things out on my own, okay?

Please don't say I'm irrational. I don't like it. I guess a person's rationality is differently defined by individuals. To you, not doing something due to its dire consequences might be rational. To me, doing something despite its dire consequences yet knowing it's the thing I should do is my rationality. Our opinions differ, but that doesn't mean either of us is wrong, right?

I want to care. I want to care for everyone I love but I'm so afraid I won't have enough love and concern to give. If you don't hear from me, it doesn't mean I have forgotten about you or don't want to bother. I'm probably tired. I still care.

I'm stepping into a new chapter of my life and I'm not liking it. But much as I don't look forward, I can't really run away, can I? We all have to make decisions, and even running away is a decision. Yet, I don't wish to opt for such a choice because I know I will get nowhere.

If YOU are reading this, whoever you are, my clique, good friends, students, whoever.
Please REMEMBER: I really, really care. And if you still need my listening ear, don't hesitate to approach me. If you need my help with studies, please shoot. If you need my help, come.
If I'm not free or don't have the ability to help, I will tell you.

Comments

  1. alvesJuly 30, 2009 at 11:42 AM

    We're never gonna be the same person we are today.

    But don't you dare give up...

    =)

    ReplyDelete

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