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I tried to be fair, but no one else, nothing else reciprocates.

The surge of dissatisfaction and anger just doesn't go away.
In fact, I'm on the verge of tears because I can't stomach this.

Yes. I cannot swallow it. I cannot accept it. I cannot bring myself to go along with what others think. Why? Why on earth HER? She has the qualities to be contingent commander? Of all people, HER?

For all that I've done for the unit, she gets the credits. She gets the compliments. All the honour and prestige are bestowed on her and then, what about me? "MOST POTENTIAL"? How am I supposed to accept this?

No, it wasn't an excuse when I gave up on H3 CLL. I didn't give up that subject just because it was a burden to my current subject combination. I really, did it for the unit. But reality proved to me that my decision was way too wrong.
Even if not for 2 years, my 1 year worth of efforts have gone down the drain. I did put my heart and soul into what I did for the company, but I couldn't even get a decent endorsement.
Now her portfolio is going to be so colourful while mine, totally mundane.

I did try to put the endorsement aside and think that it is not at all important because it is the company I'm going back for. Sadly, no one in the company proves to me my mindset is right.

Even if I know it's a wrong choice made, it's too late. The choice has been made and that's that.

I just think this is so not fair.

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I'll never understand.

Some people, you try to break them before you build them. Some people, you are only remembered by them when they need your help. Some people, you spend time trying to change them only to realise you were never someone who could impact their lives. Some people, they hurt you so much but you know, they are just not worth it. So, don't bother. ASPIRE 2010 was a screwed yet another learning experience for me this time. I'd really like to thank my fellow peers for going through shit with me. And thank goodness that I believe in miracles. You never know what happens until the last minute, really. I never felt so shagged, and devastated about people.

All the small things.

So blonde Neo came with a packet of sushi and my chrysanthemum tea and Mr. Bean's pancakes. We continued to gorge ourselves with cones (actually just 2) of Cornetto which I bought to reward myself after a long time of not having eaten ice cream. We studied and also watched The Family Court. I really feel sad for AhWU that everyones hates his Leshan role but I guess he's right that actors and actresses like to see audiences' reactions towards their acting. What a breakthrough for him! Had supper with Shirl and Eh Chris! at somewhere nearby. Continued to study with Angie and we (or rather I) had a bad night because she was coughing quite badly. Blonde Neo I tell you, you better start drinking bottles of water when you get home today. NO MORE CHIPS!!! I'm watching you.... So anyway, in the morning we had Mac breakfast and Angie FINALLY invited me to her house wheeeeeeeee. Happening hor? Meeting the climates (Auntie Rainbow, Sunshine boy and Rain) later to celebrate mid-aut...