It really hit me hard and I guess I need some time to cool down and recover. Incidents like this one happened again and again. I'm not yet immune to it but it should be a matter of time. It's funny how life works, ain't it? I tried so hard to focus on something else but it cut me even deeper. Now, my heart literally hurts but the one who used to make me feel better is busy with his girlfriend. Oh well.
Went to JP with Xiao Bai Zhi Wei and YC. Laughing like mad girls on our way there. In the end it was like an emo trip home. Perhaps not all of us though.
Some things have to happen when we don't expect them to. I feel more painful now, thinking about why I have stayed in JJ. Maybe I really shouldn't have. It was a painful beginning for me to have left CT after 4 years in it, and in the hope of being able to adapt in JJ. Yet more blows hit me and threw me back to the dumps. Once again, I have to pick myself up even though I think I'd rather stay in the dumps, since I've become so vulnerable to the extent that everything, anything, can easily shoot me down.
I tried and failed and tried and failed. Despite all the failures, I continued trying, because I believed that I'm not a failure, I merely have not succeeded. But looks like it's pointless to think that way. I'm bound to fail all the way and I'm tired of trying, again.
I enjoy indulging in the emo state but I never liked heartaches. The pain is too much, it can't be alleviated with painkillers or morphines.
Perhaps it's going to be another few weeks wasted on healing this.
Went to JP with Xiao Bai Zhi Wei and YC. Laughing like mad girls on our way there. In the end it was like an emo trip home. Perhaps not all of us though.
Some things have to happen when we don't expect them to. I feel more painful now, thinking about why I have stayed in JJ. Maybe I really shouldn't have. It was a painful beginning for me to have left CT after 4 years in it, and in the hope of being able to adapt in JJ. Yet more blows hit me and threw me back to the dumps. Once again, I have to pick myself up even though I think I'd rather stay in the dumps, since I've become so vulnerable to the extent that everything, anything, can easily shoot me down.
I tried and failed and tried and failed. Despite all the failures, I continued trying, because I believed that I'm not a failure, I merely have not succeeded. But looks like it's pointless to think that way. I'm bound to fail all the way and I'm tired of trying, again.
I enjoy indulging in the emo state but I never liked heartaches. The pain is too much, it can't be alleviated with painkillers or morphines.
Perhaps it's going to be another few weeks wasted on healing this.
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